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“Easy.”
“Easy for you to say.” I feel like I’ve done something to anger the universe since it appears to be trying, over and over again, to keep me inside.
“Easy to do. I don’t owe anyone anything. At the end of the day, I’m home by myself, just me and my demons. Most people never worry about what I think about them. It doesn’t matter what they believe about me. I know who I am, and I’m the only one who knows how to live my life.”
Tears well in my eyes. It must be because he’s taking longer to apply the soothing ointment on this foot, not because I feel sliced through by his laid-back attitude. Or his words. I’ve heard them all from Mom, Dad, and Hal before. Many, many times. Something about the way Blackmore delivers these nuggets of wisdom tugs at every fragile string in my soul. I don’t think he’s lecturing me. It doesn’t feel like he’s showing off how cool and put-together he is, but the contrast between our lives is impossible to ignore. He’d conquer the world given the chance. I’m letting the world bury me.
“You want some socks?” Done with the second Band-Aid, Blackmore looks up at me.
“Yes.” I hurry and busy myself with another sip of my drink, but he must notice my crushed state anyway.
“Don’t make me hug you.”
Groaning, I push him away.
He chuckles and gets up, goes to the back of the car, pops the trunk open, and rummages through whatever belongings he has stashed in there. A minute later, he comes back with a pair of black, athletic, low-cut socks.
“Although, if you do need a hug and feel like accepting one, I’d be happy to provide.” He unfolds the socks.
I snatch them out of his hands. “I’m fine.”
Blackmore tilts his head, studying me for a few seconds. “You’ve got to stop saying that. You’re obviously not okay.”
“I’ll stop when you admit that you’re not okay either.”
“I’m definitely fine.”
I wrap my feet in socks that are several sizes too large, but the fresh comfort is hard to beat after the torture my sandals have put me through. “I’m still hungry.” No more talking about our messed-up lives.
He puts the first aid kit away and gets behind the wheel. “Your wish is my command. Where to?”
I glance at my bare, mangled feet. “Probably home.” To curl under my blankets and forget his kindness, his easygoing outlook on everything, and every moment he’s touched me. We live similar lifestyles, except he isn’t hiding. He seems to relish the attention. He’s obviously the kind of guy who surfs the waves, and when he falls off the board, he gets right back up. Same as my dad. Not invincible, but not intimidated. I wish I wasn’t intimidated.
“Your choice,” Blackmore says. “If you want to go home, I’ll drive you home.”
He starts the engine and backs out of the parking spot.
Track 10
Super Glue
Laurel
Blackmore has the art of driving without speaking nailed to perfection. He turns on some music and whistles along. No sideways glances, no cautious starters along the lines ofso-o-o…I rub the Band-Aid on my left heel with my right big toe. The pressure stings, my tiny wounds reflecting what’s happening inside me. I’m raw and bleeding and trying to avoid thinking of tomorrow’s tabloids. The fans will spread the photos through forums and social media. How will the media spin what happened tonight?
Blackmore doesn’t care about that at all. There are so many reasons for me to write him off, but Hal considers him a good friend. Shane O’Neal, who Blackmore himself may loathe with his entire being, trusts him to make him a business partner. Seeing the Band-Aids on my heels, I decide to trust him too. A little.
We stop at a traffic light, and Blackmore curses under his breath.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’m really sorry.” He sighs, for a moment showing himself more tired than he’s been acting. “I took us the wrong way. I was thinking of…things and drove toward my place on autopilot. Give me a minute. I’ll turn around—”
“I want to see your place,” I blurt out, then hold my breath, mortification spreading like ice over my skin. Where did that come from?
At the same time, I feel proud of myself. I did something brave. Crazy but brave. My phone’s battery died at some point, and I can’t call or text anyone to let them know where I am, but I do have the watch Jonas gave me. I don’t want to go home. I don’t want to hide tonight. I want to bask in the bewildering emotions Blackmore strikes inside me a little longer.
The light turns green, but Blackmore keeps his foot on the brake. “Are you sure?”
