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I’m happy to be his buoy. “What was the worst part?”
“It’s hard to decide.” He sounds distant and hollow, and I squeeze him tighter.
We stand by the porch for a few minutes without saying anything. I know I’m the one supposed to be cheering him up—my day was boring but fine, but I feel like I’m the one recharging with his warmth and his need for me.
“How about a snack?” I offer.
“I’m not hungry.”
“What?” I shift to look at him. “You’re always hungry. What are you dealing with that you don’t want to eat?”
He looks down.
“Jace.” Heart aching on his behalf, I place my hand under his chin and lift his face back up. “You can tell me.”
He smiles, warmer than before. “Thank you for being willing to listen, but I’m not sure which parts I can share with you. I was asked to keep some things private.”
“I understand. Do you want to come in and relax a bit? Watch a movie? Or we have a pool.”
“A movie sounds good. And maybe some popcorn?”
“You may have all the popcorn your little guitarist heart desires.”
I take his hand, and we go inside. We settle on a space adventure that features a ragtag team of misfits tasked to save the Earth. At first, Jace sits on our massive, burnt-orange sectional all proper, munching popcorn and appearing interested in the movie. When I relocate to the floor—a habit from when I was a kid—he joins me. Where I go, he goes, and this revelation floods me with warmth that expands my heart to an unimaginable size. I stole his music, and he told me to go ahead and mess around with it. I complained that it’s embarrassing to talk on the phone, and he said I’d be fine. Jace and I have our rough patches, of course, and the deal is that I’m helping him rebound, but right now, whatever we have between us feels more tangible than I-like-you or you’re-a-patch.
To test that theory, I tug on his sleeve, hoping he’ll scoot closer.
Jace goes a step beyond that. He stretches out on the floor and, resting his head on my lap, looks up at me. Straight at me. He couldn’t be on his side. He had to rest on his back and stir my peace with his calm gaze. He’s trying to see if I’m okay with him like this. I can’t decide whether I am or not until I imagine him moving and realize I loathe the idea.
“Comfortable?” Teasing him, I bring a piece of popcorn to his mouth.
Jace eats it and closes his eyes. “Definitely. Although there’s something in your pocket. It’s poking me in the neck.” He lifts himself and waits until I pull out the object—a whiteboard marker. I spent all afternoon brainstorming titles for his song in my room, and when he got here, I stuck the marker into my pocket and ran downstairs.
“Better?” I ask once he cozies down once more.
“Much.”
“Really?” I uncap the marker and draw a quick triangle with rounded corners on his nose, then add three whiskers on each cheek.
Jace allows me the mischief, but once I’m done, his gaze trains on me with the focus of a predator. “Did you enjoy that?”
I nod fast, smiling in feigned innocence, knowing that retribution is coming.
He swipes the marker out of my hands and springs into a sitting position within a second. It takes him only one other second to drop into my lap and pin me to the couch with one arm. “Stay still,” he purrs, even though I’m digging my hands into his sides to try and shove him off me.
“No-o-o! Not fair!”
He carries on in a soothing tone, “This won’t take long. I promise.”
I keep twisting my head, but Jace pins me even tighter somehow. It doesn’t hurt, but I can’t move much at all while he paints a kitten mask on my face to match the one I gave him.
“All done.” He blows on my nose and laughs with such ease and happiness, I can’t manage a single glare. Whatever spoiled his mood earlier is gone.
I hold him.
Oh.
When did I stop pushing him away and wrap my hands around his shoulders?
