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Laurel veers off the path and marches through the sand. “I didn’t want to slay it. Don’t you get it? I didn’t want to play for all to see. I didn’t want to play foranyoneto see—” She stops and, pressing her hands to her eyes, draws a ragged breath. Please, don’t let it be a full-on panic attack.
“I knew what I was offering was crazy. All you had to do was sayEff off, Blackmoreand walk away.” As always, I attempt to joke about it. Badly. “Everyone would’ve laughed. They would have said it serves me right, and carried on like nothing’s ever happened. Everyone here knows I live to bother people.”
“You really don’t get it, do you? Nobody asked you for exposure therapy.”
“You could’ve said no,” I insist. I know I’m in the wrong, but she’s not the only one damaged from tonight. I’m falling apart, body and soul, and that seems to boost the self-destructive tendencies inside me.
Laurel groans, whips around, and slaps both hands to the sides of my neck. “I am so mad at you, my hands are shaking. Can’t you feel it?”
I can. Her hands do tremble, damp with cold sweat. I cover her hands with mine, keeping them on me. “I’m sorry for taking it too far.”
“I trusted you, but now I know I made a mistake,” she adds. “I knew you didn’t care—”
That strikes a nerve, ignites a fuse. “I don’t care? What do you know about my cares?” I take a sharp step back, breaking her hold on me. “You think you’re the only one with problems, princess? Get over yourself.”
“Princess?” Laurel balks. “Way to switch the blame to me. We’re not talking about your issues right now. We’re talking about—”
The fuse keeps burning. “Don’t talk to me at all if I make you so angry,” I say. “All you care about is your little shelter. Go. Continue hiding from the world. See where it takes you.”
Laurel’s mouth drops in disbelief. “You’re going to preach to me about hiding when you haven’t faced any of your demons? Shane and Juliette are trampling all over you, and you let them!”
“Speaking of which, what the heck were you thinking when you called Juliette a traitor? Did you stop for three seconds to think what it would do to my relationship with her?”
“I hope it burns! I hope she hates you and finally leaves you alone.”
“You don’t understand anything!” We’re downhill from the house, hidden from everyone by the property’s looming edge, so I feel safe raising my voice.
“How can I?” She sneers. “You never tell me anything. You’re always fine. Nothing’s ever wrong. Such a noble hero, keeping your suffering private.”
“I’m not a hero. I hate Shane. He took over everything. He’s in every aspect of my life. That guitar you nearly sent to the grave tonight? He made it. I love it. I hate him. No matter what I do, I hate him. I’ve been trying so, so hard, for Juliette’s sake, to make peace with him, but he’s just…” The confession rushes out of me like a deluge of semi-conscious mind vomit, leaving my soul reeling.
“So what if he did take over everything?” Laurel wraps her hands around my shoulders, setting my nerves on an even sharper edge with her sudden tenderness. “Let it go. Leave if you have to. Leave it all behind and be whole again.”
I shrug her hands off. “What will it solve if I admit there is a problem after all? Like I said, you don’t understand anything. I can’t leave. I’m not you. I can’t give up and hide. I’m not afraid to hurt and fight for what matters to me.”
My mind screams at me to quit it, drop to my knees, and apologize. That’s what I should’ve done from the start, but the rest of me won’t bend. I know it’s pride, I know it’s stupid, but if I can’t force her out of her comfort zone, she can’t break me, even for my own good, either. We align so well, but if we can’t survive a fight, then what’s the point of us?
“You think you have me all figured out, don’t you?” Laurel kicks sand over my sandals. “You know what I want, what I need. You believe I’m this quitter who wastes away in sleepless nights, crying, wishing for a crumb of courage so I could be performing again. I want nothing to do with it.”
“Congratulations!” I retaliate by dragging a pile of sand over her shoes with my foot. “Wear your abhorrence for the music industry with pride. No one’s going to stop you. But don’t act like you understand what I’m dealing with either. When you have a rival you have to treat like family, then come back and talk to me. When you have to choose between breaking your own heart or the heart of your best friend, then tell me you get it. And when you find yourself crawling from rock bottom to the top instead of being born a music royalty, then I’ll listen. Then you can say that being famous is dumb. Don’t you think I already know that I’m a useless loser who’s never gonna get there?”
She laughs, sarcasm overflowing. “How can you not see it? You’re already there. Seriously, you take self-doubt to a whole new level of ridiculous.”
“I don’t doubt myself.” I push away from her. We’ll never find common ground. I don’t get her. She refuses to understand me. She was right. It was a mistake for her to trust me. I was wrong to get involved with her as well. “Good night, Laurel.”
Or more likeGoodbye, Laurel. I don’t want to see her heart-shaped mouth or daring glares ever again.
“Blackmore!”
I head back to the party without responding.
“Jace!”
I whip around and stalk back to her. “What!” There must be some kind of an invisible, magical bungee cord between us. It snaps me right back to Laurel’s side.
“You’ll just walk away?” she demands, her brown eyes black in the night with fury. “Acting like a victim—”
“Me a victim? You should’ve seen yourself, Laurel. You’re meant to perform, yet you’re so afraid. And why? Because you had to deal with a few paparazzi?”
