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“I’m okay.” I’m not trying to brush her off. I’m genuinely less unhinged than I should be in a situation like this.
“You look exhausted.” She smooths out my hair. “I’ll ask Reese to make you some tea.”
The thought of tea accentuates the dull, exhausted ache in my shoulders. I’m visualizing my bed and pillows and how glorious it will be to snuggle in my blankets. “Thank you, Mom. That sounds nice. Could you bring it to my room?”
“Of course.” She rushes off to the kitchen, and Hal walks to the upstairs loft with me. “How’s Jace?”
“I’m shocked you waited until I came home instead of texting us both to death. He’s crazy.” The way he got up and distracted the paparazzi? I daresay he’s my inspiration for the rest of my life.
“Well, that’s an understatement. He got stitches? I bet he smirked about it the whole time.”
“He did downplay it as hard as he could.” I flex the fingers of my hand that found the bloody spot on Jace’s head. Not that I’m germophobic, but the sticky feeling refuses to leave my skin. And with it the guilt. I couldn’t help feeling responsible and useless. Even this morning, Jace should’ve slept in, but he dove in to deal with my drama. I’ve been thinking about that a lot, but that’s not the only thing on my mind.
I spent the night with Jace. Our time together was far from anything sensual, but it wasn’t any less intimate. I fell in and out of sleep, and at some point, I found my hand in Jace’s, pressed to his chest, his grip tight even though his breathing was deep and slow, a sure sign he was out. I didn’t sleep a wink afterward. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t move my hand either. His heartbeat underneath my fingers kept me still. The darkness between us lured out thoughts I knew I shouldn’t entertain. I did anyway. I couldn’t bear to see him get hurt, for me or otherwise. I desperately wanted to pull him into my arms and shelter him even though he’s one of the strongest people I know. I wanted to think we were meant to be.
Stopping a few steps before we reach the top, I grab the banister for support and close my eyes. My feelings are spinning out of control. Being a little in love with Jace is one thing, but falling for him to the point of forgetting myself? This has never happened to me before. Love. Real connection. It’s heavenly, but it’s also terrifying.
I open my eyes and ascend the rest of the stairs. Hal waits for me by the entrance to the loft, and he presses a finger to his lips then nods at something. I take a cautious peek. Dad’s in the loft, casting videos from his phone onto the TV. “I haven’t heard that rendition of… What are you calling it?” He glances at me over his shoulder.
“We copyrighted it asWishes,” I say. So much for trying to be sneaky.
“That fits. And…”
He keeps talking, but I’m frozen on the spot. Seeing myself and Jace riffing off in what was quite an impromptu show… At first, by sheer habit, I panic (I did earlier this morning too). The whole world has seen this by now. Three million views already, on the Tube alone. I will have no peace anymore.
Do I need it, though? I’m not an overwhelmed teenager who’s eager to please anymore. I look like I’ve been playing my whole life. Even my expression matches Dad’s when he gets in the zone—composed, in control, comfortable.
I sit down next to him. “How could that be me? I was a nervous wreck that night.” A very angry nervous wreck.
“Why are you so surprised?” He faces me.
“Please don’t say I’m ready to go back.”
Dad sighs. “You weren’t ready when you were seventeen. I thought you were. I wanted you to be… I’m sorry that I dragged you along when it wasn’t the right time. It was easy to be blind to the fact that you were still a kid. I’d love nothing more than to have you by my side. You’re a gifted musician, but you’re also my daughter. I wanted to take you on tours with me and not spend months without seeing your scheming little face.”
Most people would cringe at their parents for such sentiments, only we’ve never been that stiff family. My parents profess love to each other eighty times a day. They do the same to me.
“I don’t have a scheming face.” My eyes stay magnetized to the TV.
“You have the most scheming face of anyone I know. You need to know everything. You always analyze everything. You stash away tidbits of the world to use in your music.”
When the video rolls to the part where Jace screams, I cover my ears because even though the volume isn’t that high, the sound still chills my blood.
“He may be in the wrong genre,” I say once the heart-rending part is over.
“Jace is definitely interesting. How do you feel about him?”
I can’t stop looking at him. He dominates the video, and I see no point pretending that he doesn’t dominate my life. “I… I like him a lot, okay?”
“You could’ve met him a long time ago.”
Groaning, I get up. “And you were doing so well, Dad.”
“Be careful, Laurel.”
“Why? It’s Jace.” He’s nothing but dependable. Stubborn too, but we all have a fault or a million. “Besides, you warned me already. Why do you need to do it again?”
Dad leans back into the couch. “I see a lot of myself at that age in him. I was beyond stupid at twenty-five. Lower your expectations. I’m sure you already noticed, but music comes first for him. It’s his fire, his obsession, the reason why he breathes. What he needs is someone who will accept it.” He raises one eyebrow, questioning if I can do that. “In time, life will balance things out, but if you’re not willing to be the sidekick instead of the center of his universe for now, step away before he hurts your feelings. I have nothing against Jace, but I am your father. It’s my responsibility to advise you against getting too invested.”
