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Admit that you love me.
I need you. By my side. With me.
No. He doesn’t. He doesn’t want me as a girl, and he doesn’t want the boost he’d get from associating with my family.
My ribs constrict with more pain. There is nothing Jace wants from me. There is nothing I can do. I can’t even be angry at him.
My tears run out, somehow. I stay on the floor, resting my head on the pile of old blankets. I’ll stay here forever. I won’t be able to survive another attempt at falling in love if it ends like this. Actually, I will never fall in love again. It’s not worth it. Everyone who says it’s better to feel wretched than to never feel is wrong. They’re all wrong.
A gentle knock pierces the muffled silence, then the closet door opens. “Laurel.” Hal enters and sits next to me.
I don’t even try to hide my face—I have no strength left in me.
Hal lifts me into a sitting position and cradles me in a solemn hug. I close my eyes to shut out the light. He was also wrong. Jace and I aren’t perfect for each other. If we were… My nose swells up again. I knew my eyes have released only a portion of my grief.
No, I can’t cry any more. If I do, I’ll crack for good, and nothing will save me. I sigh and bite my lip hard to distract myself from the heartache.
Hal sways me from side to side and rubs my back like I’m a six-year-old again. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to push yourself. You’ve been doing so much and acting all excited to be out there again, but maybe you need to slow down.”
Um… “What are you talking about?”
He shifts me away and looks in my bleary, tear-stricken eyes. “I’m proud to see you sowing calamity again, but I want you to know that whatever you choose, it’s good. It’s what you need. I’ll do my best to remember that our ideas of what a full life looks like are different and equally valid. And I’m sure your parents would understand too that you need to take your time returning to life in the wild.”
“You think I’m overwhelmed because I’m struggling to leave my tower?”
Hal presses his lips together and nods. He seems so guilty, I almost laugh with relief. I was certain he figured out I broke up with Jace (I still haven’t told anyone) and was preparing sentiments along the lines ofI’ll punch him in his teeth for you.
“Aren’t you?” He looks at me, eyes full of suspicion now.
I wipe the moisture lingering in my eyelashes with the heels of my palms. “No more hiding. I want my life back. I won’t give power to everyone else but me anymore.” It’s best if we stick with what Hal thinks is the problem, not the real issue.
He smiles, understanding. “Don’t take this wrong, but Jace seems to have been a positive influence on you. Not that you wouldn’t come to this point on your own, but it’s fun to have a mischief buddy, isn’t it?”
“It was fun.” I bite my lip, causing it to split. I saidwas, notis. Hal must’ve caught that slip, I’m certain. The inevitable questioning will commence in three, two—
“There you are.” Dad appears in the doorway and saves me. “Can I hide in here too?” He lowers himself in front of us and tugs me into his arms. “You look like you’ve been crying. Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
He kisses the top of my head. “Are you sure?”
“Quite.”
“Okay.” He lets go of me and heaves a bone-tired sigh. “Can I cry then? Because we’re two days away from leaving, and I still haven’t found anyone to sub Ramsey.”
Hal huffs. “It’s because you’re picky as— Have you asked Blackmore?”
Oh, please, no. Please. I hope Dad hasn’t talked to Jace. Although, if he did, I’d already get a shredding for hiding that we broke up, and for hiding period. There are alcoholics, shopping addicts, book hoarders, and then there’s me. Laurel, the queen of avoiding everything and anything that bothers her.
I wouldn’t have run.
Jace’s words spin in my mind, only I refuse to pay attention to them. He did run without giving me any options on how to stick myself out of his music career and stay with him at the same time. So his proclamations of bravery are a moot point.
“I have a few more options,” Dad says.
Hm. So did he talk to Jace or not? It sounds like he did. But if he did, does it mean Jace didn’t tell him about our breakup either? Of course he didn’t. Why would he? Jace still wants Dad to think the best of him. Although… Jace is not a coward. He would tell Dad the truth. Unless he never needed to… Ugh. This is adding to my post-crying headache.
“I’m sorry I can’t be of help,” Hal says to Dad. “I could handle a few of your easier songs, but not a whole show.”
