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I look down at the water, and to my surprise, my voice doesn’t quiver. “I thought you were going to do to me…I thought I would end up like Amy if I didn’t run and hide.”
The anger returns. “You thought I’d kill you?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t know what people in a triad do!”
Darren sits down next to the tub, silent in thought. I hug my knees to my chest.
“I thought I could keep that world separate from you,” he says. “But now you’ve seen—experienced—the worst.” He looks up at the ceiling. “Fuck me.”
We sit in silence for several minutes. The water is now tepid. I get up as Darren grabs a towel and wraps me in it. Needing to feel close to him, I step into his arms and rest my head on his chest. He sits on the side of the tub and pulls me onto his lap.
“I wish you had come to me,” he says.
“How could I? I didn’t know if you were in on it, what you were capable of. And, well, I wasn’t sure how much you really wanted to be with me.”
I feel bad saying that now. It sounds almost petty after what he did to save my life. For the second time. I had come to believe that maybe the first time was a fluke, like Darren had intimated at times. But now I believe he had intended to shield me from the bullets.
Darren looks angry, but I think it’s at himself because he says, “I’m sorry. About Tatiana and Kimberly and…”
“Mei Ling,” I supply. I shouldn’t bring this up, but I can’t resist. “Did you end up sleeping with her?”
He gives me a strange look. “What makes you think that? The pic Kimberly showed you?”
“The text you sent me by mistake. In Chinese. Intended for Mei Ling. Asking her to come to your hotel room.”
He looks at me as if I’m talking in a foreign language. “That’s not possible. I never sent her a text.”
I look into his eyes and see sorrow, anguish, desperation, even fear. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“I can see why you left me,” he sighs. “Were you never going to tell me about our son?”
“Never,” I admit. “I didn’t want Ethan to know that his father was a gangster.”
Darren winces, and we fall back into silence. But it feels good to be back in his arms. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it.
“Let’s get you some clothes,” he says.
In the bedroom, he finds a t-shirt and drawstring shorts, both his. It’s a far cry from what I was wearing before, but I know I’ll prefer it. I accept the clothes from him.
Noticing that the fabric around his arm is soaked in blood, I say, “You should have that looked at.”
“Yeah, some lady who likes to throw drinks in people’s faces decided to stab me this time instead.”
It’s my turn to wince, but I lift my chin defiantly. “You deserved it.”
His gaze darkens. “I deserved a lot worse.”
“What…what were you going to do with me, anyway?”
He looks away. “I don’t know. Use you. Make you realize what a mistake it was to walk out on me.”
“What are you going to do now?”
He turns to hold my gaze. “Reunite you with your son.”
I think for several beats before saying, “Our son.”
Darren looks as if he might cry. His eyes overflow with…love.
