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Well, not wasted, really.
In fact, I think it might just be the best use of a day I had ever had.
But when two more days pass in a similar fashion, with the occasional outing to the village or to finally see the deer I have been looking forward to for so long, I have to face the reality of the situation.
As great as all of this was, it’s coming to an end.
Far too soon for me to be comfortable.
I look out of the window in Finlay’s bedroom, leaning my head against the glass.
The beautiful view will be gone soon. Or, rather, I will be.
I will be flying so many miles away that all this will become nothing more than a dream.
I think of my grandmother, and how she talked about the Scotland of her youth. She was always full of longing for a place that no longer existed anywhere but in her head. Something that had stopped being how she remembered it so long ago with no chance for her ever to get back to it again.
It’s sad to think of Barnbraw becoming that way to me now. Something I will dream of when I’m old, even though I can never recapture the place. And it isn’t even really the place that holds my heart.
“You look serious,” Finlay says, coming out of the bathroom to stand beside me.
I try to smile, though I find my face isn’t quite as obedient as I want it to be.
“I’m just thinking about the trip home.”
Finlay leans against the glass beside me, his forearm above his head. “You don’t look happy about the idea.”
His tone is so open that I feel a surge of honesty coming over me.
If I say it and he balks, what difference will it make? I’m already planning to leave. He can’t make it any worse.
“No, I’m not. I would rather stay here.”
“For how long?” Finlay asks. He’s looking out at the grounds, not at me, but his voice holds a strange, almost tight quality to it.
I clear my throat.
It’s now or never.
My last full day in Scotland is tomorrow. After that, I will be flying home. If I don’t say it now, I will never have the chance to again.
“I don’t know,” I mutter. “I don’t think I would like to put a time limit on it.”
Finlay turns to me. “How about forever?”
I look at him, my breath catching in my throat at the intensity in his eyes.
“Is that an offer?”
“Yes,” he says. Pure and simple. Just like that.
He makes the offer to stay with him forever, as easily as if he were offering me a slice of toast.
I don’t need to ask him if he’s sure because of the way he said it – it’s as though it’s the most natural and normal thing in the world for me to stay.
“I would like that,” I murmur, the fear that he might run for the hills running through my head leaves me.
From the look on his face, I suspect the same thoughts had been running through his head as well.
