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I hesitated before grabbing the Henley from my dresser and sticking it in the bag. Then I opened another drawer and pulled out a stack of underwear, and Timothy exclaimed, “What the hell! A pile of old, baggy boxers? Do better.” I sighed, but I swapped them out for the sexy, skimpy briefs I usually reserved for dates, and he nodded. “There you go.”
I took a seat on the bed—which was only six feet from the couch in my cramped studio apartment—and muttered, “Maybe this trip is a mistake.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because you’re right—I’m attracted to both of them, and if we spend all that time in close proximity, I might make it weird. It’s already hard to act normal when we’re together. The other day, I was sitting on the stairs in front of Kel’s house talking to Hudson, and when he turned to look at me he wasso close. I almost leaned in and kissed him. It was all I could do to stop myself.”
“That’s hot,” he said with a grin. “The fact that both your crushes are in a relationship just makes all of this spicier.”
“It’s not spicy, it’s hopeless. And if I ever acted on this, it’d destroy two really amazing friendships.”
“Unless they’re into it.”
“Why would they be?”
“Because you’re totally fucking hot, and they already adore you. It’s not that big a leap from friends to lovers.”
“Yes it is,” I insisted, as I mashed down my clothes to make more room in the bag. “It’s a huge leap. Plus, how many people do you know who are actually part of a throuple? I mean, in real life, not celebrity trios you’ve heard of.”
“Twelve.”
I paused what I was doing and glanced at him. “Seriously?”
“We live in San Francisco, Noah, and this is the twenty-first century. Our definitions of relationships are expanding. So, yes, I know four throuples, and they all seem very happy. I also know one polyamorous collective, but that’s another story.”
I conceded, “Okay, so it’s not impossible.” Then I asked, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay watching Sadie over Christmas? I know it’s asking a lot, and—”
My friend sighed dramatically. “That wassucha clumsy subject change! And yes, your dog and I will be just fine. As you obviously know because you already gave me my Hanukkah present, I’m Jewish, so Christmas is just a day to eat Chinese food and stay home watching movies. I even have the week off since the restaurant’s closed, so stop fretting.”
“Okay.”
“Now, what about condoms? I haven’t seen you pack any.”
“I won’t need them, because I’m not going to be having sex.”
“But what if you’re wrong? What if things heat up, but you can’t do anything about it because you’re unprepared? That would be a tragedy.” It was easier to just pack them than to argue. I moved a small bottle of lube and a box of condoms from my nightstand to the bag, and Timothy informed me, “You’re going to need way more rubbers.”
“It’s an unopened twelve-pack.”
“Exactly.”
“I’ll actually need zero, because like I said, I won’t be having sex. It’s ridiculous that I’m even bringing them.”
“It’s not ridiculous. It’s optimistic, and I applaud it. But twelve’s not nearly enough. Let’s crunch the numbers. If you do end up having sex, we’re talking about three hot, horny men in their late twenties—”
“What does our age have to do with it?”
“It means you’re all young enough to get it up multiple times a day. Now don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to do math.” He started writing in the air with his finger as he continued, “Three horny guys times six nights and seven days, multiplied by potentially being snowed in with nothing to do but bone. Three times seven, times—what, five times a day? Carry the seven…damn it, I suck at math but the answer’s a hell of a lot more than twelve, I can tell you that.”
“Well, it’ll have to do, because that’s all I have.”
“Hang on.” He jumped up and almost tripped over his bunny slippers, which were strewn across my floor. Then he ran out my open door and into his apartment, which was directly across the hall. Meanwhile, Sadie jumped up, shook herself, and started wagging her tail. She was a very inquisitive border collie mix, and she always found Timothy and his goings on fascinating.
He returned a few moments later and handed me a huge box of condoms, along with a massive bottle of lube. “This is from my emergency supply cupboard,” he explained.
“What kind of emergency are you planning for, exactly?”
“Well, you never know, do you? What if Stanford’s entire men’s rowing team got stuck in my apartment for a fortnight, due to some sort of heinous natural disaster?”
