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“Because that could happen.”
“Whatever. Just pack this stuff, and if you don’t end up using it, then bring it back. It’s always best to be prepared.”
“Fine.” Again, it was easier to cooperate than to argue, so I hid the lube and condoms among my clothes.
There was a flimsy, black garment draped over his arm, and he handed it to me and said, “Take this, too.”
“What is it?”
“An insurance policy.” I held up the semi-sheer, long sleeved black shirt and shot him a look, and he told me, “If you wear it, it’ll ensure you get laid this week.”
“Timothy, you’re like, five-ten and a hundred pounds.”
“And?”
“And I’m almost six-four and weigh twice as much as you!”
“Duh! But this stretches. See?” He grabbed the sides of the shirt and pulled them in opposite directions. “Plus, the sleeves are super long. Like, way too long on me.”
“It won’t fit.”
“It might, and if so, you’re going to look smoking hot in it. Put it on with a pair of those skimpy black briefs you packed and casually stroll out to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. I guarantee you’ll be in the middle of a dick sandwich in less than five minutes.”
“Wait. When you mentioned a spit roast, were you envisioning me as the one in the middle?”
He raised his hands in an exaggerated shrug. “Maybe. Who’s to say how this’ll all play out? I realize one of those guys is a tiny little twink, but I’m not going to automatically assume he’s a bottom. And just because you’re built like Dwayne the fucking Rock Johnson doesn’t mean I’m going to assume you’re a top, either. I do, however, assume the huge blond jock is a top. Which one is he, Kellan?”
“No, that’s Hudson. You know, you’ve met them three or four times.”
“Whatever. Like I was saying, he really screams ‘top’ to me, don’t you think?”
“I honestly have no idea what he screams to you.” I stuck the black shirt in my bag, because he wasn’t going to let it go, and wedged in my shaving kit as I asked, “What am I forgetting?”
“I feel like you’re bringing way too much of everything. You could leave most of those clothes here.”
“I’m not going to be naked the whole time.”
“Well, not with that attitude.” When I slipped three paperbacks into the side of the bag, Timothy’s blue eyes went wide, and he blurted, “Oh, come on!”
“What?”
“If you have time to read, you’re squandering that cabin!”
“What does that even mean?”
“Here’s what your daily itinerary should look like,” he said, as he began to point his way down a huge, imaginary list. “Wake up, then enjoy some dick. Eat breakfast, followed by more dick. Dick for lunch, then dick, some more dick, and some dick, followed by a light supper. For dessert? You guessed it—dick.”
I burst out laughing and told him, “You need professional help.”
He grabbed my arm and tried to shake me, not that he could get me to budge. “Please, I’m begging you, don’t let this opportunity pass you by! I’ve watched you pining for these guys for months, and now’s your chance to finally do something about it.”
“Or, here’s my chance to ruin two really great friendships, embarrass myself, and make things super awkward between me and my business partner,” I countered.
“If those friendships really are great, then they’ll survive, even if you make a super clumsy pass at them and they’re not into it.”
My phone beeped, and my heart rate sped up as I read the text. “They’re early. They just pulled up downstairs.” I finger-combed my hair, then smoothed my short beard as I said, “There’s an extra bag of Sadie’s food in the kitchen if the first bag runs out, and don’t go too crazy with her treats, even if she gives you that look of hers. Her vet’s number is on the fridge, and her leash is next to the front door. What am I forgetting? I feel like there’s something…”
“I’ve got this, because as you know, I’ve watched her before.”
