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“You’ve been through far worse,” he began as if to remind me of the frightening challenges I’d been through long before entering Demon Valley. “Yet I somehow scare you for my lack of words?”
“It’s more than just words,” I stressed and wished he could see what I was yearning for.
Feel my immense frustration that was growing stronger within my heart.
“Something… feels off about you. It has ever since the deal confrontation with Baker. I know you and Nathan are in one body again… or at least I assume so, but you’re acting strange. Different. Are you unwell? Are you worried about something? Is it because of all the recent info about your father and Shade Pack? Is it due to Laura’s betrayal? I know I didn’t kill her. Are you upset that I didn’t?” I couldn’t figure out what could be the problem that was affecting him so intensely to the point it felt like if I let go of his hand, he’d fade away from me.
Why does it feel like he’s slipping away from me… forever?
“I could have killed her in my voodoo form which was weird as fuck, by the way, but I didn’t want to steal that from you. I mean, you could have killed her five years ago. Could have made her into the perfect puppet who would suffer for all eternity, but you didn’t. There had to be a reason for that, right? Or why you pretended to ignore her movements when she’d go to the surface to deal with Baker in exchange for sex? I heard everything through Momo while I was dealing with the kidnappers. Are you mad that I got kidnapped? That… Okay, I can’t really defend myself in that situation. I was pushing my limits and fucked up, but that’s all on me. I’ll take whatever punish—”
“You talk so much.” He silenced me with his lips as the words echoed around us. The intimate press didn’t give me any sense of relief, their movement slow and passionate which left me in a state of longing.
I really felt like I was going insane because all the emotions being triggered were negative and uncalled for. When he normally kissed me, it was unexpected yet thrilling. It made my body hum in excitement while my mind swirled in glee.
This kiss, however, did none of that.
Instead… I just felt cold… broken… empty.
“I always admire how you instinctively react to everything,” he praised against my lips. “How you drop, trip, or fly right into situations and don’t even dare try and complain about the sudden change in circumstances. You don’t wallow in how your changed environment puts you in a disadvantaged situation. You just push yourself to figure out a way around it while protecting those pulled into the same vortex of change. I noticed it when you protected Felix at your own expense, but now that I’ve gotten to really know the real you, I can only be impressed.”
“The real me?”
“You demonstrate the power of a queen. So selfless and committed to actions without caring about what consequences you’ll have to face alone. Do you know what a blessing it is to have such a personality after everything you’ve been through? How do you still have an ounce of kindness in you when the world has been nothing but cruel to you?”
“Malifer… but you’re the same. You’re selfless and show kindness in ways many don’t witness until it's too late. Why are you only giving me praise when you demonstrate the power of a real king?”
“That’s the problem though,” he began as he let go of me and moved his hooked arm from my waist. That only encouraged me to place my hands on his hips, fearing he’d take this chance to flee. I’m sure he noticed, but his hands now cupped my cheeks that were small in comparison to those large palms that I realized were black while his nails were long and sharp.
“I can’t be a king anymore, Lexianne.”
“What?” My eyes widened. “W-What do you mean? You’re the king of this valley. You created this world, Malifer. You’re the Alpha of the Demon Valley. What makes you think you can’t rule? You’ve led all those who were sacrificed.”
“I never led them, Sweet Lex.” His voice didn’t hide the immense feeling of defeat. “Sure, I saved them. Saved them from the true realms of death and gave them a space where they can let out their frustration revolving around what was done to them, but aside from that, what benefit has being saved brought them?”
“Benefit? Malifer, at least they’re alive! They’re in a place where they’re not tortured into submission and ridiculed. They’re not in a lifestyle that makes them feel like slaves and burdens. Their lives revolved around being outcasts and useless individuals in our society who only wants powerhouses. The valley may not be everything you wish for it to be, but you gave these shifters a place to try and call home. A place where they can find their own identity. Every space of safe haven isn’t perfect, but it can be better! All you have to do is ask what they wish to see from the valley and we can see if it's possible.”
I desperately stared into his eyes as I clung to him for dear life.
“Why are you acting like this? Where did all that cocky confidence of yours go?”
“What if it was all for show?” he tossed back. “To hide the coward I’ve always been.”
“You’re not a coward, Malifer! Why are you letting what Baker said get to you? He just revealed shit to get under your skin, but you’re better than him. No way could he do what you do.”
“That’s the thing, Lex. He can do that and better,” he offered. I stared at him in horror and tried to push away from him, but he held me tightly.
“This has to be a test, right? Or a nightmare. No way is Alpha Malifer Nightshade, the man who evokes fear in shifters just by the thought of you being alive, now standing here and telling me that Travis Baker, the biggest con artist of the Hollow City block, can be a better leader than you.”
“You dont get it,” he commented but didn’t seem frustrated by it. “That was Father’s plan all along.”
“Alpha Shade’s plan is to get rid of you so he can remain Alpha of his lethal pack of selfish bastards!” I huffed.
“Father’s plan was to always replace me, Lex.” I paused in trying to hold onto him to glare up at him.
“You’re not making sense.”
“I remember,” he whispered. “Not everything. Just enough. I had to meditate on it… for a really long time and come to the place that started everything, but it finally clicked, Lex. I figured it out.”
