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He meows at me and disappears into the kitchen.
I laugh as he hides behind a counter in the kitchen and turn to look at Rei and Mal. “So Bryony probably won’t be home for a couple of hours. We might need to figure out sleeping arrangements before she gets here.”
“I thought I was sleeping with you,” Mal says, flashing me a smile.
Rei rolls his eyes, but I’m surprised to see the smile on his face even when he crosses his arms over his chest. “The only reason you don’t want to sleep out here is because you’re scared of the cat mauling you in your sleep.”
“I’m not going to lie, that’s definitely something I thought about,” he replies, chuckling.
I didn’t expect them to be joking around with each other. This is weird. I don’t know how to feel about it.
“You can both sleep in my room,” I say.
They both smile.
“On the floor. Don’t get any ideas,” I say. “I want things to feel normal, remember?”
“What makes you think this shouldn’t be your new normal?” Malon asks.
I shake my head, rolling my eyes but smiling despite myself. Maybe he’s right. Maybe this can be my new normal.
A few minutes later, we’re all sitting around in my room. It’s kind of cramped in here with all three of us. I’m sitting on my bed, Rei is on my office chair, and Mal is sitting on the floor between my bed and my closet.
The fan is on, but it’s still too warm in here.
“I should’ve offered you guys some drinks,” I say. “I didn’t even ask you if you wanted anything.”
“We’re fine,” Rei says. “I’ve already told Misha and Luke we’ll meet them in the morning.”
“Do you know where we’re going?”
“No,” he replies. “Not yet.”
“I would ask you to invite them here, but I’m already not sure how we’re all supposed to sleep in my apartment. I don’t think Bryony would appreciate it, either. I don’t think she even knows I’m here yet.”
“I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you,” Rei says. “I know she was worried about you.”
Malon leans back on the closet door. “I hate to say it, but I think he’s right,” he says. “I’m sure she wants to see you happy.”
I nod, my mouth drying as I look at him. “Do you really think someone’s going to come here to, I don’t know, hurt me?” I ask. I still haven’t really processed what happened at the church. It was so weird. I felt like I was choking, and I was graying out, my vision flickering as I looked at the bare walls in the church.
And her hand wasn’t even wrapped around my neck.
Still, though, it felt like there was string being pulled around and tightening over my windpipe. Bile built up in my throat and then there was nothing I could do. My breathing got shallower and I fell to my feet as everything around me darkened.
I was only scared at first. That’s the thing that I’m having the hardest time dealing with. There was certainly fear there at first, primal, terrifying fear. But then there was this relief–everything felt peaceful all of a sudden.
I knew I was about to die, but I didn’t see a slideshow of my life before I passed out. It was more like a lack of concern.
For the first time in what felt like a very long time, I wasn’t worried.
I was just grateful that my mind was blank.
I think that scares me more than anything else.
The end seemed…merciful. Exciting, almost.
The idea that I just wouldn’t have to worry about anything else was so appealing for a few seconds that I momentarily forgot I was supposed to be afraid to die.
