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“Not jumping all over me for this. Not just assuming the kid could be mine.”
“I don’t know you that well, Spider, but it seemed out of character.”
“Again, thanks.” He motioned to the bottle of champagne. “Do you want any more of this?”
“Not right now.”
“Me, either. Would you mind if I told the flight attendant to share it?”
“Are you suggesting she offer it to Susan?” I asked.
Spider laughed out loud. “I was thinking to the other passengers in first class, but you may be onto something.”
“You may want to consider being preemptive.”
“Meaning attempt to talk to her before she does?”
“You might avoid an unpleasant scene if you do.”
“Because there’s so much privacy on an airplane?”
I motioned to two rows ahead of us. “If that seat remains empty, I’ll sit there while you invite her here so the two of you can chat.”
“Thanks, Calla.” He got up and took the bottle of champagne with him. “I’m gonna kiss you again,” he said when he returned empty-handed. “Are you all right with that?”
“More than all right.”
We kissed until the plane taxied to the runway and sped up to take off. When it did, he held my hand, just like Beau used to.
I closed my eyes and thought about the words Spider had said the last time I saw him. I’d spent a lot of time thinking about them between then and now.
“You’re more ready than you think you are,” he’d said, putting his hand on my heart, then adding that my brain was what was telling me I wasn’t.
I also thought about Beau and me after Spider left that day. If it had been me who’d died, the last thing I would’ve wanted was for him to live the rest of his life without love. As soon as I thought about it that way, I knew he wouldn’t have wanted me to be alone, either.
Like Beau and me, Spider and I became friends first. He was caring, smart, made me laugh, and was an all-around good guy. I knew it in my heart. He’d thanked me for not immediately jumping to the conclusion he’d fathered a child he didn’t know about, and even though I’d asked if Danielle could be his daughter, something inside was telling me she wasn’t.
“This is going to sound like it’s coming out of left field.”
“Go ahead,” he said.
“Have you ever thought about having children?”
“Yeah. I’ve thought about it. You?”
“Beau and I talked about it before he died. We weren’t ready at the time.”
“Do you wish you’d had a baby with him?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I would’ve loved to have a part of him to hold onto. Loved to see glimpses of him in a baby he and I made together, but it would’ve been so hard for that child to grow up without knowing his or her father.”
“Have you thought about it since?” he asked.
“Not a lot, except I know I’d like to be a mom. If I found someone I loved enough to raise a family with.”
I waited for Spider to tell me whether he wanted to have kids, but when he didn’t say anything, I didn’t ask. Instead, I closed my eyes, not really feeling like delving into another conversation.
“Hey, Calla,” I heard him whisper a few minutes later.
