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17
As the wordscross my lips, I know I shouldn’t ask them. What do I expect him to say? What do I want him to say? Most importantly, what would I do if he revealed he feels for me even a glimmer of what I feel for him? Thankfully, it doesn’t seem I’ll have to make that decision, at least not tonight, as the clock, sitting atop the two-story fireplace, strikes midnight, and whatever spell cast upon us breaks, prompting Alister to let go of me and back away. He doesn’t answer my question. And, rather than dissect how his silence makes me feel, I shift my attention from him to the four walls containing the remnants of the best Thanksgiving I’ve ever had. Sophia’s heels lie haphazard on the gray rug anchoring the dark and cozy room. Empty wine bottles sit atop the grand piano. A fire still roars in the hearth to my right. And, as if the holiday itself were an album, brilliant throughout and yet, sure to end, the record player spins on a small table at the foot of the wooden stairwell. It produces only static, making the words left unspoken between Alister and me even more obvious.
“I wonder where everyone’s off to,” I say. To distract myself from the unreadable expression etched across Alister’s face, I turn and begin picking up empty wineglasses and bottles and fluffing the throw pillows on the ornate, deep-set sofa. Perhaps I’ve revealed too much to him and he’s getting scared. I must go about as I normally would to prove to him I’m not falling for him. Am I? Falling for him?
“I’d, um…I’d rather not think about where Sophia and Cassio have gone,” Alister says, clearing his throat. I laugh, which somehow eases some of the gut-twisting nerves inside me. Still, I don’t look at him. We need a moment for the status quo to reset. If I look at him now, I’m not sure what I’ll find or what he may perceive in me. “Gio is probably asleep in his private quarters or preparing for tomorrow,” he continues. I nod and grab the last of the wine bottles before heading through the dining room to the kitchen.
“Why didn’t Gio spend today, well, yesterday, with his family? I’m assuming they’re in New Orleans.”
“No. He’s from Miami, and his family is still there,” Alister says, following behind me through the swinging door of the kitchen. I place the empty wineglasses and bottles on the island. When I turn, our eyes finally meet. And, unlike Cinderella, whose fantasy ended at the stroke of midnight, when I look into Alister’s eyes my insides still tingle. He comes to stand beside me, and his arm brushes mine, reigniting the electric connection I felt between us on the dance floor. I do my best to ignore it and offer Alister a follow-up question.
“So, how did you and Gio meet?” I ask, taking a step away from him to sit on one of the barstools.
Alister smiles, letting out a small laugh. “Do you really want to have this conversation now? It’s after midnight.”
“Well, what else is there to do?” Because there is no way me being left alone on the third floor of the Amato mansion with nothing but my thoughts is better than this. Besides, after the night I’ve had, sleep won’t come easy.
“Fine.” As Alister gives in to me, he takes a seat on the stool next to me, once more closing the distance between us.Careful, Ari.Keep your eyes on his, not on his bulging biceps, not on the sprinkle of chest hair peeking out from his slightly unbuttoned shirt, and, most certainly, not his lips.
“When I was eighteen, I convinced my father to let me attend college somewhere other than New Orleans. I knew that it would be my only chance to escape this city, to have a somewhat normal existence. So, I ended up going to school in Florida, not far from Miami. But being the son of one of the most dangerous, wealthiest, and most sought-after men in America, I would always have a target on my head. Gio’s family, one under my father’s rule, was close by, and he was my same age. So, he became my roommate, bodyguard, and, ultimately, friend. When I had to return to New Orleans after graduation, he came with me. We’ve never been apart since.”
“You said you wanted to escape this city, to be normal. It sounds like you didn’t want the life laid out for you in New Orleans.”
“I didn’t. I…I don’t.” As Alister admits the truth, there’s a sadness that takes over him. And yet, a clarity takes over me. Ever since I met Alister, there’s been something about him that has lured me in, making me see the best in him despite the blood on his hands. At first, I thought it was the kindness he showed me after Walsh’s men left me bloody and broken. Then, I thought it was our shared pain. The loss of his sister and the loss of my mother has forever scarred us in a way that makes it easy to relate to one another. Yet now I’m starting to see what draws me to Alister isn’t his kindness or our shared knowledge of tragedy. It’s his remorse, his desire to be good.
Alister and Sophia didn’t ask to be a part of this world of darkness. They were born into it. And from the day they were born, they’ve had a price on their heads and a target on their backs. What happened to Cara is evidence of that. And if the threat of death isn’t enough, there are other ways this world has made them its prisoners. Sophia admitted as much when we finally cleared the air between us.
“Ariana, do you think you’re the first ill-intentioned person to get close to me? My entire life I’ve had to worry about women and men befriending me or dating me for the wrong reasons. When I was a teenager, I met a girl while on a field trip from school. We started talking online and got close. It wasn’t until I told my dad I wanted to go to the movies with her that he did a background check and realized she was a spy for another crime syndicate. When I was in my early twenties, I got played again. This time by a man who had absolutely nothing to do with the Mafia and yet knew I was rich. He just wanted me for my money. He wanted the money so bad, he deliberately poked holes in his condoms hoping he’d get me pregnant, so I’d forever be tied to him, even if I didn’t marry him.” At that, she turns away from me, shaking her head. “It’s because of people like that that I fell for Caleb. Well, I’m not sure I fell for him. I just…I felt safe with him. I mean, he had his own money and was from another country so that kept him from learning too much about my family. And even he turned out to be a lying, cheating asshole. But you?”
I bite my lip and do my best to prepare to be obliterated. She has every right to hate me. I exploited her at her most vulnerable time. I—
“Ariana, Alister told me why you did what you did, what happened to your mom and how our father may have been involved.” She turns back to me with glistening eyes and a sad smile. “He also told me that you were the one who saved me and that you almost died trying.”
“He’s being a bit dramatic,” I mumble, and Sophia smiles.
“Yeah, well, he tends to do so. But I remember the man who led me away from the party. I remember how tight his grip was around my arm. I…I even remember the second one smothering me with the rag of chloroform while the other one held me against him.” Her brows crinkle, and I wonder if this is the first time she’s gone through something like this. It must have shaken her.
“If you hadn’t been there, they would’ve done to me what they did to my sister.” Her lip quivers. “And Alister…I don’t think he would’ve survived losing us both.” At that, her voice cracks and she turns away from me as emotion overcomes her.
“Hey.” I reach out, resting my hand on her shoulder. “I…I wish I had the right words to say right now. I wish I could tell you that you’re safe and nothing like this will ever happen again, but…I don’t want to lie to you, not again, at least.” Sophia nods. “But what I can tell you is that I’m here if you ever want to talk or just cry. I’m sure you feel like you have to be strong because if you’re not, you’re afraid Alister will—”
“Become even more oppressive,” she says, a sad laugh escaping her. “Or worse.” She said she was afraid Alister wouldn’t survive losing her. Yet, something tells me she’s worried about losing her brother in more than one way.
“I guess this is my way of saying I’m sorry for what happened to your mom,” Sophia says, turning back to me. “I don’t know how she got involved in this world, but I know that her death, like so many others, shouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened had our world not become so corrupt and void of the true essence of what the Mafia is about—family, loyalty, and honor. If I were in your shoes, I’d be doing the exact same thing you are—fighting for the truth at all costs. So, if it wasn’t obvious, I forgive you, Ariana. Of everyone who’s lied to me, at least you had an honorable reason for doing so.”
Alister and Sophia are trapped, prisoners to their blood. That is their saving grace, the thing that lets me know I can trust Alister, that I’m safe with him, and that my feelings for him are valid, even if they are dangerous.
“Ariana, you’ve been fighting the Mafia and other criminal organizations your entire adult life and for good reason. But it wasn’t always like this, at least, not the Italians. The Mafia used to be about protecting each other when no one else would, when the laws of society were written against people like me. That’s not to say that we didn’t do horrible things in the name of protecting our own, but at least we had honor. Over the years, especially during the time of Prohibition, our outfit became anything but honorable. We got a taste of wealth, a taste of power, and we’ve clung to it ever since.” Alister shakes his head. “This way of life is poisonous. It infects everyone who partakes in it, whether their choice or not. And once you’re a part of it, you never truly escape it, no matter how badly you may want to.”
“But what about now? You’re the boss, Alister. You make the rules. You can choose to leave this way of life behind. I mean, you’ll have to, unless you want to spend the rest of your life behind bars.”
“Isn’t that what you want?”
“What?” My brows crinkle as Alister’s eyes narrow.
“I saw your suspension report. I know the outburst you had at work was about me. You wanted me to rot for what I did.”How did he…?
“No. I wanted a chance to talk with you face-to-face, by whatever means necessary. There’s a difference.”
