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No.I put the note back on the table, stand, and return to my pacing. No, no, he said we could never be together. He said his enemies, of which there are plenty, would use me against him. After what happened with Gallagher and Vitale, I know he’s telling the truth. But…but if he no longer had enemies, if he were no longer the Blood King, then…? Is it even possible? He’s said a million times before it isn’t, that even if he left New Orleans, abandoning his throne entirely, his enemies would still hunt him. Because until he’s dead he is the rightful leader of the Amato criminal organization. At that, I stop as my worry consumes me.Trust me.
“I do trust you,” I whisper. I have no idea what he’s planning, but he’s up to something. And thatsomethinggives me hope. And, for better or worse, I’ll cling to it until the pain of loving him is greater than the pain of losing him. And I’ll pray that that day never comes.
36
My parents’bedroom is just as I remember it. The walls are painted white. The floors are made of deep mahogany wood. Beautiful brass chandeliers and sconces hang from the ceilings and walls while the fading light of day filters in through the floor-to-ceiling windows once shattered by Vitale and his men. As I examine the room I haven’t entered in years, I find everything as it should be. The windows, once broken, have been replaced. The floors, once covered in my mother’s blood, have been scrubbed. The bed still has the same white down comforter. My mother’s jewelry sits out atop her vanity while my father’s slippers wait for him in the same exact place they always have.
This room is like a museum preserving the last remnants of my parents’ lives. Perhaps that’s why I’ve avoided it all this time. Between these walls, it feels as if they are still here, as if I should see my father walking out of the bathroom or my mother searching for something in her closet any minute now. But they are gone. And outside this room, I feel their absence so immensely that pretending, even for a second, that they aren’t, that they can hear me, feels like a lie. Alas, today I welcome the lie.
As I move farther into the room, I blink away the memories of the night my family was changed forever and ease down onto the edge of the bed. Despite its absurdity, I’m almost afraid to ruin the perfect preservation of the room, afraid to breathe new life into it. As the old bed frame creaks under my weight, kicking up the most dreadful scent of mothballs and potpourri, it lets me know it feels the same way. In truth, I don’t know why I’m here. Perhaps to tell my parents that I got him, the depraved bastard who took everything from us.I got him, Mom.As the thought comes to me, my throat aches. Or maybe I want to tell them that I met a girl. She’s beautiful, smart, relentless, and strong—a fighter.I think you’d like her, Dad. I think Cara would too.At that, I move my eyes from the room before me to the leg of my black jeans. This is already hard enough and this room holds too many painful memories to allow my eyes to travel.This.There it is. The real reason why I’m here. I’ve come to say goodbye.
When Sophia told me she’d help me leave the Mafia for good a month ago now, I believed her. But I also believed it would be impossible without damning us both to a life on the run, which isn’t a life at all. Still, I knew I’d underestimated my sister for long enough and she was right. After so many years with only one reason to remain atop the throne I never wanted—my family—I now have a reason to abandon it altogether. I now have a love worth fighting for, a shot at happiness worth pursuing. So, we put our heads together along with Gio and Cassio. We ran through every possibility and every outcome only to come up with one actionable plan.
I know you won’t agree, Dad. After you and Grandpa worked so hard to maintain our family legacy, I’m sure you’re rolling in your graves right now. But the truth is, I’m giving up the crown. The crown, the business, the power, the army. I’m giving it all away because it makes me a target. No. It makes her a target. And I couldn’t live with myself if I lost Ariana in the same way you lost Mom, in the same way I lost Mom. I hope you can forgive me.
The new year will bring a new war. My enemies will flock to New Orleans once they hear of how close Vitale came to taking the throne, not to mention word of Cara’s death is still spreading. They’ll see my weakness as an invitation to try their luck. On top of that, there is the FBI’s investigation, which could end with not only me in jail but everyone who works for me, including Ariana’s father, which I cannot allow. I won’t. Just as I desire a chance to love Ariana, to have her in my life day and night, she deserves a chance to know her father. And with my plan in motion, my initial hesitations regarding their relationship will ease. Alessandro Gagliano cannot be beholden to the Mafia nor prosecuted for his involvement in the Amato crime family if the Amato crime family no longer exists. So, there it is—the one way for me to avoid a war, protect my people, give them the choice I never had, allow Ariana a relationship with her father, and us a chance at happiness once and for all. I must abolish the Italian Mafia in New Orleans, and then I have to run.
It sounds simple. It’s anything but. You see, I can’t just walk away from the throne, book a flight, and never return. I must make it so that no other Cosa Nostra family may control this territory,myterritory. Because if they do, they’ll always see me and Sophia as threats. There will always be those who believe us to be the rightful leaders, and so they will hunt us. But if I relinquish my crown to a competing regime, one with a leader powerful enough to fend off all incoming threats, no Italian will stand a chance at taking it from them. But, while I am abolishing Italian rule, I am not leaving my people without a choice. I’ve found a leader with a vested interest in Ariana’s safety who will welcome my capos, their soldiers, and their associates into their ranks, if they so choose. My capos’ lives will change very little along with their bank accounts, and this will maintain the peace needed for an easy transition of power as will my absence.
For my men and other criminal outfits to accept the regime change, I must disappear. I must make it known that I have sanctioned this, and I am not a threat to the new power. And I must remain off-the-grid until the FBI concludes their investigation into me and the business that will soon enough no longer exist. If they find me innocent, I will be free. If they find me guilty, then today is my last day in the Crescent City. If they find me guilty, then the last time I saw Ariana truly was the last time. And our goodbye truly was goodbye.
At that, I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath. I didn’t think it would come to this. Or maybe I did, it’s just… Sophia gave me hope. Over the weeks, Ariana has consumed my every thought. Everything I’m doing is so that we can be together, free from the shackles of this world and its enemies. But there are still so many things that can go wrong. There is still a chance it will all be for nothing, that I’ll be found guilty and forced to live out the rest of my days as a fugitive, not only without the drug money but without the income from my legitimate businesses. It will be a hard and lonely life, and the fear I’ve grown accustomed to over the years will only be amplified. Because I won’t just be hunted. I’ll be defenseless. That is why I haven’t told Ariana of my plans. That is why no matter how badly I want her to, she can’t come with me.
“Boss?” Gio knocks on the door as he enters the room. “She’s here.” I nod. As I turn to him, the reality of what I’m doing sets in. Gio wears his typical deep navy suit with a white button-down and a 45-caliber strapped to his waist. Whereas, I am, uncharacteristically, dressed in jeans, a long sleeve T-shirt, and leather jacket. That is because when I leave this place in mere hours, Gio will stay behind. He will inform the capos of the regime change and make sure things go smoothly while eliminating all evidence of our illegal doings from Laroux House and other business locations throughout the city. He fought me on the decision at first. In over ten years, we’ve never been apart for more than seventy-two hours. But there is no one I trust more than him to handle this most delicate matter. Not to mention the capos already respect him, and Sophia will have her hands full with running the legitimate Amato businesses from the safety of Cassio’s compound in Savannah. “Are you ready?” he asks.
At that, I stand. “As I’ll ever be.”
Gio gives me a nod and returns downstairs, leaving me a final few moments alone in the place with the most painful of memories. I close my eyes and listen. I can still hear the bullet as it echoes through these very walls, ripping through my mother’s body. I hear her collapse against the hard floors. I hear the men taunt my father.It hurts, doesn’t it? Losing the woman you love.My lips press into a flat line as I open my eyes. For years now, I’ve replayed those words over and over again in my head. As I grew older, I felt a shift inside me as if they weren’t just taunting my father. They were taunting me. They were threatening me and any woman I dared to love.
“Not anymore,” I whisper then. “You don’t get to control me anymore.”
I cross the room to my father’s dresser and my mother’s vanity. I have far too many painful memories of them both. I search for something that may trigger a happier one I can cling to while away. I find it in my father’s cross pendant. He always wore it tucked beneath his shirt collar as if it was a reminder of his own mortality. And now, I shall wear it too as a reminder that my days are limited and that everything I’m sacrificing now is so that I can spend the rest of them with Ariana, happy and safe. But what of her? Has our time together truly been enough to spark a love that will last a lifetime? For me, it has. But for her…
The way I left things with her was harsh and I haven’t spoken to her since. There are still months before the FBI begins their investigation into my family unless the new task force leader moves up the timeline now that Bilieux is gone. That would allow me to return to Ariana sooner, but it would also increase the likelihood of a guilty verdict since Gio will have less time to get rid of evidence. All of this is to say that it could be a year or more before I’m able to return to Ariana. What if our time together isn’t enough? What if she finds comfort in another? I suppose I can’t blame her. I wouldn’t. A normal, safe, and happy life is all I’ve ever wanted for her. But I’d be lying if I said the thought doesn’t give me pause, that it doesn’t make my blood boil, that it doesn’t make me want to go get her right now and drag her with me regardless of her wishes. I want her to remember us, remember me, not for the monster this world forced me to become but for the man I am when I’m with her and the man I still wish to be. But is it fair of me to ask her to remember, to ask her to wait for me? No.
I bite my lip then as my eyes spot a red leather box on my mother’s vanity. I don’t have to open it to know what’s inside. Though I am king, I am not the only Amato to wear the mark of our family. While my father had his ring, now passed to me, my mother and sisters had necklaces and brooches made of rubies and diamonds that bear the family crest. Every piece was handmade in Italy before my ancestors immigrated to America, but unbeknownst to them was what the jewelry would come to represent. There are more of them stowed away somewhere, but the ones my family wear are special in that they’ve been outfitted with trackers. Completely undetectable, of course. The pieces are as functional as they are beautiful. I often wonder how things would’ve been different if Cara had been taken during the day rather than at night. If she was wearing her brooch, I could’ve tracked her. I could’ve found her. At that, I pick up the box and open it, taking in the beauty of the deep red stone.
Perhaps it isn’t fair to ask Ariana to wait for me. And, considering her reinstatement to the FBI, it’s most certainly best she doesn’t know the extent of my plans to install a new leader of the criminal world here in New Orleans. But is it too much to ask her to trust me? Trust that everything I have done and will do is because I love her, even if she grows to no longer love me? I don’t know. Maybe a reminder of our time together would only cause her more pain. Yet, the pit in my stomach lets me know I can’t leave this city without giving her the necklace, without in this small way claiming her as mine.
I cross the room to my father’s nightstand in search of a pen and paper. Finding just what I need, I hesitate. There isn’t much room to say all the things I want to. Perhaps it’s for the best. So, instead, I scribble my one basic plea—Trust me. There’s a lump in my throat as I imagine how she will receive it. Perhaps she’ll shove the necklace in the most cluttered drawer of her armoire never to look at it again. But maybe, just maybe, she will wear it. She will keep me close to her heart and allow me a glimpse into her life for however long this transition of power and investigation separates us. With resolve, I take the note and box in my hand and make my way downstairs to the dining room to finish what I’ve started.
When I enter the room filled with a massive oak wood table, I find Josephine Cullen sitting at the farthest end of it. She is flanked by her head of security, Avery Gallagher’s replacement, just as Gio waits for me, standing behind my usual seat closest to the door.
“Mr. Amato, how nice of you to join us. I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind,” Josephine says.
“Not at all. Just taking stock of a few things before I take my leave.” I turn to Gio. “See to it Ariana receives this—tonight.”
“But, Boss, the meeting,” Gio protests.
“Go now,” I tell him. Gio nods and does as he’s told. As he closes the French doors behind him, I realize that that may be the last command I ever give him. How fitting?
“I have to say, Alister, I was surprised to receive your call,” Josephine says as I take my seat. “It’s not every day a territory of this size is delivered on a silver platter. If our fathers could see us now…”
“Yes, I’ve done my fair share of imagining their reactions. Mine would probably kill me before he let me remove this ring from my finger,” I say, holding up my hand to examine it one last time.
“Well, I’m not as much interested in your ring as I am your signature. We Irish have our own customs and crowns.”
“Right,” I say then. “Shall we get on with it then?” I ask, moving my eyes to the papers.
