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“Yes,” Josephine says. “Though, first, I must ask. Why me? I mean, there must be twenty people you thought of before me, what with your connections in Mexico and the Caribbean.”
I lower my pen and meet her gaze. “You’re the only one I can trust to look out for her. You’re the only one I can trust not to bow to an enemy, who is free from weaknesses.”
“You mean a husband, children,” Josephine says, a glimmer of sadness in her cool blue eyes. “It’s okay,” she says then. “This world isn’t a burden to all who inhabit it. I quite enjoy ordering around grown men and, of course, the smell of money.”
At that, I smile and reach for my pen once more. As I sign away my territory, my birthright and greatest burden, a weight upon my shoulders is instantly lifted. I suppose I’ve been carrying it for so long I’ve forgotten it was there. Slowly, a smile spreads across my lips. I am doing this for Ariana. But, equally so, I am doing this for me. I am finally shedding the shackles of the Amato name and blood and, with the stroke of a pen, ending a reign over a century in the making.
“Blood is my beginning. My blood I will defend. Or, so help me, I will burn. By blood, I will meet my end.”
As I recite the Blood Oath for the final time, I stand, knowing that what I’ve just done will either be the best decision of my life or the worst.
37
ONE YEAR LATER
As Rayand Sabine close in behind me, I dig my toes into the gravel and propel myself faster beneath the oak trees of Audubon Park. After a year of training together, I’ve finally got some competition. Well, that and Ray is trying to impress our task force’s most recent recruit. I would say he’s predictable, always going for his female coworkers, but my six-month suspension made me forget how much we work. There’s really no time to meet someone outside the bureau between cases. Not that I’ve been looking. Besides, when I’m not working, in therapy, or with Ray, I’m with my dad. He and I have breakfast once a week and a weekly family dinner with his wife and my three half siblings. I have two brothers and a sister all under the age of twenty. You’d think they’d be skeptical of me, especially Gia, but after thirteen years of being the only girl, she welcomed me in with open arms. To my surprise, so did Stephanie, my dad’s wife.
I can remember shortly after they came into my life, or rather, I came into theirs, my dad sat me down and told me he’d never stopped loving my mom. He didn’t want me to think that Stephanie was a replacement for her and that my siblings were meant to replace me, the child he lost so many years before. He said it may not make sense to say it’s possible to be in love with two people at once, but that when my mom was taken from him, the place in his heart that she inhabited, thatweinhabited, was forever reserved for her and the life he never got to live.
Hearing him speak of her broke me and made me happy all at once. My mom’s journal reveals her concern that Sandro had stopped loving her, that that’s why he never found her, found us. It would make her happy to know that wasn’t the case at all. He never stopped loving her, even once he accepted that she was gone and with her so was any chance of them being together. And yet it breaks me, then and now, to think of the pain my father went through when he lost my mom. It is a pain I know all too well and a tragic reality I fear I’ll soon enough be forced to accept.
Alister was last seen entering Prague a year ago. That is where he flew to when he left New Orleans, and yet, his jet has remained parked and his whereabouts unknown ever since. I still don’t know why he left. I can only assume it has something to do with the FBI’s investigation into him and his business, but that ended months ago. He was cleared of all charges, or rather, suspicion, since Bilieux’s deal prohibited the use of any previously gathered evidence, and by the time the investigation began, there was nothing left to find. And with Bilieux gone, Ray is the only other person in the bureau who knows of my relationship or past relationship with Alister. Thankfully, he never pushed me to divulge anything I learned during my time with Alister to our new boss, not that I would’ve. I’d sooner quit before I betray Alister. With the money I inherited from Christio Vitale’s estate as the sole heir it’s not like I have to work. Though I’m certain I’d go crazy if I didn’t, especially without Alister to keep me company, or rather, keep me busy. But, a year later, I’m wondering if he still has the same loyalty to me.
I keep replaying the wordstrust meover and over again in my head. And I have trusted him. But the more time that passes, I can’t help but wonder what am I trusting him to do? Am I trusting that he made the right decision not just in leaving me, but breaking up with me? Or am I trusting him to return to me? That’s what I originally thought seeing as his note also says,until we meet again. But if he’s going to return to New Orleans, if he’s going to return to me, then what is keeping him?
As various scenarios dance through my head, I push myself harder and faster, fighting against the wind chill while inhaling the earthy scent of the swaying oaks as the finish line nears. Perhaps he’s taking time for himself, learning to make peace with his past like I am. We both have our fair share of demons that haunt us. While I have made progress in the year since he left—I am no longer plagued by nightmares—there are certain wounds that may never heal, wounds that lie dormant until pricked by a certain event, memory, or conversation. While I have long accepted this, which is perhaps why I put off going to therapy for so long, I’m not sure Alister can accept a lack of perfection. Is he waiting to become whole before he returns to me? With the trauma that he’s been through, that may never happen. But it doesn’t make him any less worthy of love or capable of loving me. Although, as saddening as that thought is, it is not the worst of those that worry me.
Perhaps his world caught up to him. He always spoke of his enemies viewing what happened to his sister as an invitation to challenge him, and then after what happened with Vitale… Is that why he left? To draw his enemies away from New Orleans, away from me? Or did he leave in defeat, essentially giving up his throne to whomever can claim it first? No. That doesn’t make sense. If he did that, he’d never be able to return. Not to mention my job would’ve been a lot more complicated over the past year with turf wars leaving dead bodies all over the French Quarter. As it stands, it’s been relatively calm, so calm a lot of our time has gone to tracking international criminal syndicates rather than domestic ones.
I shake my head as confusion consumes me and do my best to lose myself in my run. But it’s no use. My mind like my heart is still completely occupied by the man with the raven-colored hair and golden-brown eyes. As I reach my finish line, the place along the pond where I share my happiest memories with my mom, I’m forced to confront a less than happy thought, one that’s been consuming me for months now. Maybe I need to accept that Alister Amato is gone, and he isn’t coming back. Though the mere thought leaves me with an ache greater than any run ever could. I’m not ready. Even after all this time, I’m not ready to give up on us. While our time together was fleeting, our love is not. It was,isa love to last a lifetime, even if we are destined to spend our lives apart.
“Girl, how did you get so fast?” Sabine asks, stumbling through her finish as Ray trails behind her.
“She secretly has wings. It took me six years to figure it out, but she has wings. I’m calling it,” Ray says. When he reaches us, he falls to the ground, red-faced. Though, I imagine on a day like today he’ll cool down fast enough.
“He’s right,” I say with a soft laugh. “Anyway, thanks for joining me. I know it’s Christmas and you’ve got to get back to your families.”
“Well, what about you?” Sabine asks. “Don’t you have plans?”
I cross my arms over my chest as the wind seeps through the fabric of my black running shirt. “My family actually decided to do things on Christmas Eve this year. So, no, not really.” Sabine looks at Ray, who looks at me. “No, no, I’m not trying to impose. I have like ten hours of Christmas movies waiting for me. Plus, I’m picking up takeout from the Court of Two Sisters.”
“No,” Ray says, pushing himself up from the ground. “No, you’re coming with me. My mom always makes enough food to feed a small army, and besides, no one should spend Christmas alone. That’s something theoldAriana would do, andyouare not backsliding, you hear me?” He immediately crosses his arms and raises his brow as if daring me to protest.
I laugh. “Fine.I just need to go home, shower, and change.”
“I’ll come with,” Ray says. “That way we can pick out our white elephant gifts together.”
“White elephant gift?” Now it’s my turn to raise my brow.
“My dear, Ari, you have so much to learn.”
* * *
The cool Christmasbreeze hurries me along as I fumble for my keys and unlock my door. Ray scurries in behind me. “Oh, look at you. You finally put up a Christmas tree,” he says as I close the door behind us.
“Yeah, well, I had a little more time on my hands this year than last,” I say, kicking off my tennis shoes. “So, how fancy should I dress? I’ve heard the stories of your mom’s parties. I can only assume jeans are a no go.”
“Whatever you wear will be fine,” Ray says. “Though, I wouldn’t go as fancy as this.”
