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Well played, Mr. Devlin. Well played.
My eyes itch and my throat hurts just thinking about him. Add to that I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that my father shot my mother dead while I cowered at her feet, and then he went on to kill himself, and everyone I love in this world kept that information from me.
God, my life is a fucking mess right now.
The room swims when I look around, my eyes filled with tears. I’m so over this shit. How many times can you put yourself out there, just to be knocked down again? Tears flow fast and furious, and I let them fall, unhindered and unrestrained.
Because I’m done.
Done with men. Done with love. Done with all of it.
Just…done.
Reed
We land in LAX late Friday evening after a flight filled with turbulence, and that’s just what’s going on inside my head. The moment I feel the wheels hit the tarmac, I’m digging my phone out from my back pocket and calling her number.
Again.
I don’t know how much space and time she needs, but surely this is enough.
My heart is in my throat, and my hands are shaking as I hit redial. Fuck, Brinley, answer the phone. I need to speak to her. If I could just hear her voice, just once, then maybe it would take away some of this pain.
And that’s what this is, soul-crushingly painful.
I’ve been an absolute wreck since the moment I left her behind in Ohio. It went against everything inside me to leave her behind, and the devastated look in her eyes before she ran back to the house almost broke me.
I worry about her constantly. She’s all I think about. Brinley Thomas consumes my thoughts from the moment my eyes open in the morning, and she lingers there until I fall asleep at night.
If that’s what you could even call it. Sleep? What the hell is that? I thought I was made of tougher stuff, but shadows lay beneath my eyes and my head aches constantly.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. She’s everything to me.
But I ruined everything between us. I hurt her when I swore I wouldn’t hurt her, and whether that was my intention or not, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
The phone rings out–of course it does.
Brinley hasn’t answered one of my calls yet. I try again, but this time it goes straight to voice mail.Shit.I don’t leave a message this time, because honestly, what’s the point. I send a text message instead.
Me: We just landed in Los Angeles. Please answer your phone.
I hit redial the entire time the plane is unloading, slouched in my seat as various crew members and other studio execs make their way off the flight. It rings out every time or goes straight to her message bank.
“Fuck!”I punch the empty seat in front of me, tears burning the back of my eyes.“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,”I shout, emphasizing each word with another forceful punch.
Then I fall forward and put my head in my hands in defeat.
The seat moves, startling me, and I look across to find Quinn sliding into the empty space beside me.
“Dude, this is crazy. You have to stop this shit, or you’re going to go fucking insane,” he says. “You have to give her time to calm down. Back off and give her some time, that’s all she asked of you and you can’t even give her that.”
I stare at Quinn wordlessly.
We’ve already had this conversation, and I know he’s right. Quinn Tanner is always right.Fucker.He’s always so calm, always has his shit together. I wish I was more like him.
“I just want to talk to her,” I say, my voice cracking.
“I know, but you have to let her get her head around all of this first. Let her calm down. Give her some time to sort out her own feelings. This isn’t just about you, Reed.”
