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He doesn’t respond, and I’m okay with that. He’s busy. He’s got stuff to do. I do too, for that matter. I need to head home and work my ass off on rearranging the set, practicing the lyrics, and I want to get my guitar professionally tuned before the show.
But I am excited to tell Reed all about my rehearsal.
I want to tell him everything. I don’t know why it’s so important to me. It just is. And that’s the part that confuses me the most.
Today wasn’t a complete success. I’ve got so much work to do.
But maybe it wasn’t a complete write-off either.
Reed
Ishouldn’t be here.
Fuck knows I shouldn’t be here.
And yet here I am, standing outside Brinley’s apartment door close to eleven o’clock on a weeknight, and my insides are battling between right and wrong.
I’m treading on thin ice with this girl. Immersing myself in her life was never part of the plan. I don’t get involved. That’s not my usual style.
But I can’t stop thinking about her, and I certainly didn’t expect to like her so fucking much. It terrifies me.
She’s no longer accusing me of plagiarism, and of course, I’m really happy about that. But there’s something else brewing inside me that knows this isn’t over yet. I don’t know where it leaves me. I might be getting what I always wanted.
But at what cost?
I wanted to destroy Brinley once it was all said and done. But things have changed. Because now it feels like she is the one destroying me, and there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it.
I should turn around right now and run down those dilapidated stairs and get the fuck out of this shitty neighborhood.
But the thing is, a part of me wants to take Brinley with me when I do.
I’ve never done the girlfriend thing. It’s just not me. I don’t date. My history of‘dating’consists of fast food, seedy bars, hotel rooms, and making a hasty escape the following morning without leaving my phone number.
But Brinley Thomas is different on so many levels.
She’s wriggled her way under my skin, and I kind of like her buried there. She makes me happy. She makes me smile. It’s been a crazy long time since I’ve smiled for no reason. And she’s so fucking hot I can’t think straight when I’m around her. I can’t think straight when I’m not around her either.
Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. Admitting what she does to me.
And maybe that’s why I’m here.
I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, but I wanted to see her. I owe her an apology for the way I treated her the other night. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Who kisses a girl they’re attracted to, then puts his fingers inside her body, makes her come while grinding her ass on his rock-hard dick, and then panics because he starts having these crazy feelings for her, scared that she’s going to get too attached. Afraidhe’sgoing to get too attached.
And then simply walks out on her.
Me. That’s who.
Asshole 101.
I press my ear to the door to check for any sounds coming from the other side. There’s no light seeping out from beneath the door, but maybe she’s still awake, watching television?
Christ.
This is all kinds of creepy.
I should be out celebrating with the band and the crew. Turns out, we had one of the best rehearsals we’ve ever had, and this upcoming show is going to be amazing. I can already tell. Things are coming together nicely.
Kael somehow managed to sober up enough to get through two entire sets without missing a single beat. He was on fire. We were all at the top of our game, and Nick was beside himself.
