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Fee looks wistful. “I don’t know if I want to take Mia out on the road. She loves her school. Her friends. Plus, I’ve not had my chance yet. All of you ladies have amazing careers. I want to live my own dream.”
“It’s funny.” I take a swig of wine. “When we were filming the show in Vancouver before all of the lawsuit madness, I was miserable knowing that Connor got to spend all day with our sons while I worked. After everything we’ve been through this year, I realized I needed a break. A huge, huge, break. This Kircher bullshit has taken its toll. The videos put me over the edge. The band stuff hasn’t helped. On the glass is half full side, it’s also forced me to take stock of my life. It’s funny. I’m seriously questioning whether this industry fulfills me.”
Fee nods, her eyes wide at my confession. “Yeah. Wow. I totally get it. It equally kicks ass and sucks being a grownup. It’s like we must pretend to know all the things when we know nothing at all.”
“So profound.” I burst into laughter. “And so true.”
“God, look at them.” Fee rests her chin on her hand. Her legs swing from where she sits on the stool.
I glance toward the seating area where Mia now has the boys draped on her sides. She has both arms wrapped around them. Adorable. I nod to where they’re cuddled together. “That’s what I want my boys to have. Family. We’re all family.”
“Yeah.” Her face softens. “We are.”
“Speaking of which, have you talked to Alex? She never answers any of my texts.” I’m worried about my friend, who has withdrawn from all contact. It’s understandable. I hope she knows we’re all here for her.
“I haven’t.” Fee grimaces. Pinches her nose with her fingers.
I grip her shoulder. “Fee, are you okay? Tell me the truth.”
We sit in silence for a bit. “I don’t…know.” She looks at the ceiling then back at me. “Ronni, I’m going to confide in you. I’ve been wallowing. I’m still angry. I’m trying to be rainbows and puppies, but I worked so hard on Gus. I’m bitter. It’s hard not to be resentful. Iwantto follow my dreams but I truthfully don’t know if I have the energy to do it all again. Or if it’s worth the investment of time. Money. Zane spent a small fortune on the renovations for the club. My restaurant…”
It’s too much. Tears stream down Fee’s face. I slide off my bar stool and embrace her. Her pink hair is a curtain on my shoulder as she sobs. Moments later, she pulls away. Uses her thumbs to wipe under her eyes. Sucks in a deep breath.
“I’m sorry.” She breathes out. “I think I just needed to vent.”
I pat her knee. “Don’t apologize for having feelings. Better out than in.”
“I can’t seem to stop crying. Or eating. I hate myself for it. I hide. Zane’s the one whose band imploded. He’s the one who has the family drama. He’s the one who’s wife won’t give him a baby because, well…. My Zaney is the one who should be sobbing and he’s spending all his time comforting me.” Fee shakes her head sadly, then reaches for her wine glass.
I sit back down across from her. “Why do women always take on so much?”
“Says the woman who brought down the slimiest men in Hollywood. Not once, but twice.” Fee drums her fingers on the table and studies me.
“Ah, well. Maybe so, but I’d argue all of us LTZ women are overachievers. We’re badasses.” I cock an eyebrow. “If you want my advice, maybe don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’re all behind you so try to enjoy your downtime. Gus will reopen when you’re ready. I’ll go back to work when I’m ready. So will Alex. And Zoey. I do hope the guys can get their own shit together, though.”
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Fee eases off the barstool.
I shrug. “I’m just glad they’re talking. Their future essentially hinges on seeing Ty tomorrow.”
The next room is quiet except for whatever Disney+ show is on in the background. I crane my neck to check on them. All three are asleep. Mia’s wrapped around Tristan. Torin’s head rests on her hip.
I check my phone. I missed a text from Connor. “Zane’s going to be home soon, they left an hour ago. I should get going.”
“You guys should get here a little earlier than Jace and Alex. If you can, that is.” She leans in the doorway holding Tristan while I load Torin in the car seat.
I come back for Tristan. “Sure. We’ll leave early.” I finish buckling Tristan in his car seat. “By the way, thank you for tonight.”
Fee shoots me a halfhearted, mischievous smile. “I’m glad you guys moved to the area.”
“Me too.” I wave from the driver’s seat. “I love having a BFF.”
Fee’s shocked expression delights me. I meant what I said. Fiona Rocks is fast becoming my bestie.
On the drive home, I turn on the radio.
Of course, it’sRiseby LTZ.
I mouth the words rather than sing them, no need to wake up my kids.
