Page 94 of Resilient Queen


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Ihearagroanbeside me and know that lackluster sulky voice could only belong to one person. Great. I’d thought the nurse had done me a favor earlier by knocking him out when he couldn’t find sleep, but now he’s awake again.

The constant buzzing sound that follows shortly after is the second most annoying thing in this room.

Turning, a hiss whistles past my teeth when I move too fast. My side howls as more pain shoots to my ribs. This, is unfortunately the first thing.

Even with the painkillers, everything hurts like a bitch. The one dark blueish-purple spot that now sits on the entire left side of my stomach looked like one big permanent birthmark.

I’m so stiff. The nurse who’d helped bandage me up earlier said that would be normal for a while and not to worry but still—fuck—another sound rips past my lungs. It hurts to breathe.

I literally feel like I’ve been pulled in half. The cracking sound is unnatural.

Buzz. Buzz.Buzzzzzz.

My teeth clench. My molars snap so tightly they grind together, and more pain burns in my side. This time I can ignore it. What I can’t ignore is that annoying-ass sound.

“Would you fucking stop already?” I demand rather than ask.

“I’m hungry,” Finn whines.

“You have a concussion. You don’t need food, you need sleep.”

“I did sleep, now I want food.”

“They’ve probably disconnected the button from our room because you’ve pushed it so many times.” My tone grows more lackluster the more my side burns.

Relenting, my chest caves, and my breathing hollows out. Gripping the rails on my bed, I choke out a noise in my need for air. The pain screams, repaying me for moving too aggressively by forcefully knocking the air I now choke on.

I exhale through my nose, deep and shallow. My eyes burn with moisture, but I keep them laser focused up front. My death grip on the railing releasing as I shove a pillow to my chest. I take another deep, controlled breath.

Focus. Inhale. Focus. Exhale.

They told me this was supposed to help. It doesn’t.

“You okay?”

I hear Finn’s concern, but I ignore it. He can’t help me.

My eyes snap closed as I try to concentrate. The darkness helps shift my attention to what matters.

The doctor told me I needed to try and do breathing exercises. Yet, the only one I can seem to remember isn’t even one he’d shown me but one shared by someone else.

Deep breaths. Count to five, in. Hold it. Count to five, release.

My heart plummets and my lungs cave further inside my ribs.Rory.

I never should’ve walked out on her. Left her standing there with nothing but her own thoughts to drive her mad. Thoughts I’d put there by leaving.

I know how she is, and I can only imagine what’s going on in that pretty little mind of hers now. I was frustrated, and we both took it out on each other.

My still-closed eyes press tighter together, trying to force the memory away.

It doesn’t work.

Gulping, those images are imprinted there for good. Seeing the hurt on her face, is now stuck inside my mind forever.

The despair, the hurt, I saw it all right before I turned and walked away. Stepped out. Every single second flashes with blinding clarity as I relive it all over again.

Those pearly grays of hers, shined. Pained and hurt as much as I’d been, as much as I am.

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