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When the song ended, she walked with him again. She had to hold one hand to the back of her drooping hair arrangement to keep it in place.Oliver laughed, leaning toward her. “One more dance and it shall be completely undone.”
She already was undone. Every last stitch holding her back from pouring out her heart to Oliver had been clipped. She was feeling strangely confident and brave. Her heart pounded.
A hand tugged on the back of her arm, interrupting her thoughts.
Julia turned around. It was Mama. Her blonde curls were tight on her forehead, and her teeth were displayed in a fake smile. Her hand grew tighter around Julia’s upper arm. “May I have a word, my dear?”
Julia glanced back at Oliver before nodding, following Mama into the corridor. The air was colder and darker, and the voices from the ballroom became muffled. The moment they were out of sight of the guests, Mama let out a huffed breath. “Why is Mr. Northcott claiming your dances and not Lord Belper?”
Julia shrugged, twisting a loose thread on her glove. “Lord Belper has not shown any interest in me this evening. Oliver has.” She lifted her chin. “And I am quite happy with the situation.”
Mama sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I know you have always cared for Oliver as afriend. But don’t you see that your endeavors would be better focused on securing a match of higher rank? On someone with more to offer?”
Julia shook her head, her throat tightening. “No one has more to offer me than Oliver. He is a good man, with a good heart. He makes me laugh and smile. He understands me. I have never loved, nor will I ever love anyone more. He offers me happiness, and that cannot be matched with any measure of wealth or status.” She caught her breath, holding Mama’s gaze.
She had expected Mama to argue, but instead, the stern lines of her face gave way to a soft smile. “I suppose he still does have a very influential family, even if they are without titles. I didn’t know you felt so much for him. Does Oliver know how you feel?”
Julia shook her head. “No.”
“Perhaps you might encourage him a little,” Mama suggested with a smile. “If both of you carry on silently loving the other, then nothing will ever become of it.”
“I don’tknowif he loves me.” Julia looked down at the floor, heart pounding.
“Then you ought to ask.” Mama tucked her fingers under Julia’s chin, lifting her eyes to hers. “If Lord Belper is no longer interested in you, perhaps it was fate intervening.”
It wasn’t quitefatethat had driven him away, but Julia would keep the truth of it to herself. Mama was far less upset than she had expected. She cast Mama a grateful smile, heart beating wildly against her ribs. How could she possibly ask Oliver how he felt about her? How could she tell him how she felt? It had been so many years of hiding her heart from him. But he must have known to some degree. She had, after all, tried to trick him into marrying her all those years ago.
“For now, enjoy the rest of the ball,” Mama said. “Do not fret. All will be as it should be.” She turned to walk away, but stopped, sniffing the air. “Are you wearing my old perfume? How much did you apply?” She grimaced.
“Far too much, I’m afraid.” Julia bit her lip before hurrying past Mama in order to escape further questioning.
Oliver was waiting near the wall when she returned to the ballroom. Seeing him after her conversation with Mama set her heart pounding all over again.
His brow was knit with concern. “Is everything all right?”
Julia nodded, hiding her nervousness. There was no hurry to confess her feelings to Oliver. The bravery she had been feeling moments before had vanished. “Yes. I resolved her concerns.”
“Good.” Oliver drew a deep breath as he looked down at her. He paused for several seconds. “Tomorrow is your birthday.”
“My twenty-first,” she said, fiddling with her glove again.
“At the age of twelve, I assumed that birthday would never come,” Oliver said with a chuckle. “But now here it is upon us. Funny, is it not?”
He was referring to that silly agreement they had made. According to the rules, he would be bound to marry her after tomorrow came and went. But it was invalid. Ridiculous. Completely unfounded.
Oliver took a deep breath like he wished to say more, but he held the breath instead, eventually releasing it. If neither one of them were ever brave enough to voice their feelings, then they would remain as they had always been. Friends.
And simply being friends with Oliver was not enough anymore.
CHAPTER8
Pacing in front of his bed had never solved Oliver’s problems like he hoped. He stopped, sitting down on the edge instead, raking a hand through his hair. It was Christmas day and Julia’s twenty-first birthday. He wanted to see her now that Lord Belper was out of the way. He wanted to tell her how he felt…how he had felt for years now. The emotions were bottled in his chest, and the pressure was torturing him.
He had a perfectly reasonable excuse to call upon her that day, with it being her birthday.
He needed to give her the gift he had been planning.
But that was the part that made him the most nervous.
