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“Shut up Claire. That’s not the first thing he needs to hear when he wakes up. Nevermind the fact that we don’t need him shutting us out again. Do you not remember what happened after Kelly?”
Claire and Evan were whisper-shouting at one another. They were by far the worst at trying to be discrete. At least Devin and Hunter tried to be quiet while they thought I was sleeping.
“I can hear everything you assholes are saying.” My voice was dry and raspy. The words being forced out. Claire rushed to the side of the bed, terror filling her eyes. There was only one thing on my mind though.
“Oh, thank god you’re awake. You scared the hell out of me.”
While the doctors assured everyone I was going to be okay Claire wasn’t taking it so well. Most days I was so tired from my injuries or the drugs I wasn’t able to stay up for long. She had been coming by as often as she could but the farm was still in need of everyone’s full attention. They seemed to take shifts coming to visit me.
“I’m fine Claire. Doctors said so. I’m just here so that I don’t have to do any work on the farm before my next ride.”Flashing a half grin she looked back at me sternly.
“You’re not seriously going to go back on those things are you? Bryce you have to be kidding.”
I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t even know how long physical therapy would take. Hell, I still had a brace around my neck to make sure I didn’t aggravate my injuries. All I knew was that I would not let this stop me.
My gut told me to not get on the bull and I didn’t listen. That wouldn’t happen again.
“Where’s Hannah?”
I couldn't turn my head because of the neck brace holding me in place but I could still see the look Evan gave to Claire. It was the same one they gave me when they sat me down to tell me about mom and dad. The - we don’t want to tell him but we have to - look.
“She left didn’t she?”
Claire shook her head in no exact manner to give me an answer as her eyes shifted away and her hand grasped mine. I went to pull it back, but the energy needed to do so overwhelmed me. This fucking sucked. I was completely useless. It was no surprise she would leave. This wasn’t what she signed up for. She was with the PBR superstar. The guy who could protect her.
“Can you guys just go? I’m not up for visitors right now.”
Evan moved closer to the bed as he spoke. “No, Bryce. We’re not going. It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“Don’t really fucking care Evan.”
Doing the only thing I could while hooked up to machines I closed my eyes. It didn’t matter why Hannah left. The only thing that did was that she was gone. My sunshine was gone. My lucky charm was gone.
Chapter Nineteen
Hannah
I spent the first week at his bedside. Trying to convince myself it would be okay. He wasn’t really coherent for most of it. The times he spoke while I sat at his bedside holding his hand, it wasn’t something I wanted to hear. He kept asking for Kelly. Someone that I didn’t know. One time, he mumbled it while Luke was in the room. Luke’s eyes went wide as he tried to figure out what to say to me.
The look of shock on his face as Bryce muttered it between moments of consciousness told me what I needed to know. I wasn’t the one he wanted by his side. Evan and Luke did their best to convince me otherwise, but I knew better. Waking up saying another girls’ name was never a mistake. It was who he wanted in his moment of weakness. Not me.
So, I did what I did best, dove headfirst into work. I even started helping Lilly out in the horse stalls. I wasn’t great with most of the farm tools but I did what I could. Evan and Luke tried to talk to me but I always kept myself busy.
I knew once they discharged him from the hospital I would need to find new living arrangements. Most of my things were still packed, which I was grateful for. There wasn’t much I needed to pack up before he got back. I had already found a small place close to the farm.
Shoveling the old hay from an empty stall I hear Lilly going about her business. The loud clomp of the horse in the next stall over made me perk up.
“Morning Hannah. Didn’t know you would be here. Have you already been to see Bryce today? I know Claire and Evan mentioned they were going to stop by this morning before things got busy.”
Lilly brought Smith's hoof back and began working on it. I shook my head trying to think of anything at all to change the subject to other than Bryce. She continued talking before I could come up with a suitable topic.
“Devin said he’s doing really well. They want to start his therapy already. I haven’t been able to get up there to see him. Between the farm and the kids.”
“I well… I haven’t really been up to see him lately.” My voice shook at the admittance. I was a horrible person. I knew what he had been through, and I should just put the fact that he said someone else’s name on the back burner and let him explain but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t let my heart get hurt again. Not after Felix. Not after Lucas. I needed to protect myself. I thought Bryce was different. I thought he loved me. Lilly looked up, her brow creased with concern. It sounded bad saying it aloud.
“Do you mind me asking why?”
Tugging the hem of my shirt I debated if I should say anything. It wasn’t like I should need to hide my reasoning. Lilly would understand, or at least I thought she would.
