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That wasn’t a complete lie it was the current project I had on my mind. I also knew there were a few other plans that the boys had come to me with that could easily solve the problem. Adding another shop out in the field area where guests could take a rest, grab some water and take in the scenery was on the top of the list. That was another one of Devin and his fathers ideas. Expanding the storefront aspect to give better access to not only the patrons at the farm but also the workers. If the day was hot, it would be nice for them to stop in and grab some water if they ran low rather than having to go all the way back to the main store.
“Hannah.” His voice softened as he took a step closer, pausing and staring at me with such sympathetic eyes. “We both know thats not what I mean.”
Devin, the oldest of the Gregory brothers, had only been back on the farm for a short while. When he turned eighteen he joined the Army and served his country until an unfortunate accident got him discharged. When he came back he lived with Lilly and Molly at the house she was staying in on the property. From the stories I had heard from Claire the two of them didn’t get along so well at first. Devin wasn’t looking for a wife and Lilly was still married at the time. Over time they found they were more alike then they wanted to admit and fell in love. It was obvious to see how much they were in love, and not just because Lilly was ready to pop with Devins second child. It was a love that you could see the minute he looked at her. The smile that came across his face, the loving touches when they were together, I was jealous of that love.
“I take it you talked to Bryce?”
“Well, not really. He shut us all out.” He chuckled to himself. “Not surprising. He’s more like me than he realizes. We get that stubbornness from our mother.”
Devin settled himself into the chair across from me, placing his hat in his lap.“I’m not one to get on his case about it and had he answered his phone when I called him the other day he would have known that. He’s doing the same thing he did when Kelly left. He shuts everyone out and he’s going to throw himself into some work. Not sure what since hes held up at the physical therapy place until the end of the week. I wasn’t here when the whole thing happened with Kelly. That didn’t mean I didn’t get an earful from the others.”
“Devin, I know what you’re going to say and…”
He held his hand up causing my words to immediately halt.
“You have no idea what I’m going to say Hannah. Guess that makes you two peas in a pod, more than I thought. Hannah, I can see you blame yourself for what happened. Theres nothing I can say that will change your mind. I also know that even if my brother loves you with his entire heart and he’s breaking right now because you left him. Because yes, he told us that you left so I can only assume you also plan to not stick around at the farm. Which that is not happening, you’re staying here. You belong here sunshine. Bryce will not come running after you. He’s too damn scared. He’s been scared since he was six years old to lose someone he loved. He lost our parents, he lost Kelly, he almost lost Lilly.”
He paused for a moment and for the first time since I had gotten to Gregory Orchards I saw Devin look scared. The military sergeant that didn’t seem to let anyone or anything phase him was shook.
“Lilly was and still is one of the few people Bryce will talk to. When she came here with Molly apparently the two of them got along faster than she did with anyone else. He used to help her out with Molly all the time. One night she was planning on running, just like you are now. Her appendix burst and I called him, knowing he would come running to help those two girls out. That’s who Bryce is, he has a big old heart that if he lets you in you’re damn near lucky.
If he hadn’t come and watched Molly I wouldn’t have been able to get Lilly to the hospital. After everything had settled he broke down in front of me. No one knows about it, he swore me to secrecy but I think this is one of those times a secret needs to be shared.”
I could feel my heart rising in my throat. Bryce was honest, caring, and every positive trait you could possibly think of in a man, I knew that. He had also been broken down more times than he would probably ever admit. Whenever our talks started going towards discussing his past, he shut me down and started talking about something else. I had let it slide because I didn’t want to cause any problems. There was a very good chance Devin was going to tell me right now why that was.
“Hannah, he was so damn scared that Molly was going to end up like him. Without parents to love her. That’s all he could see the whole time when Lilly was in surgery. Sure he had our grandparents, he had all of us but it isn’t the same as the love you get and need from a parent. The unconditional kind, the one that no matter what happens you know they will be proud of you. So after he knew Lilly was fine, that Molly was fine he threw himself into working twice as hard. No one noticed, but I did. He’s fucking scared Hannah. Scared to let his heart get broken again because you know what he said to me that night?”
My eyes were burning as I fought back the tears that were desperately begging to be released. I didn’t want to know yet, my voice refused to stop Devin from continuing. Stopping the assault on my heart and soul that I was destroying his little brother.
“I don’t have much more of a heart to break. I’m too broken for anyone to ever love me, Devin. Who would want some stupid cowboy that's not much good at anything.”
That was it, there was no holding back the sob that scratched and clawed its way to the surface. My gut was churning ferociously at the words. He wasn’t just some stupid cowboy. He was good at everything I had seen him do. How in the world could he think that of himself? I was no better than Kelly was, leaving him as I did.
“Devin, I…I thought that… staying away was… it was for the best… he…” I could barely get the words out between my cries. He rounded the desk pulling me into his arms. Burrowing my face into his shirt, his hand rubbed gently on my back, trying to soothe my hysterics.
“Devin, what the hell did you do?” Hunter's voice didn’t even get me to stop as I heard him at the door.
“Shut up you idiot. I didn’t do anything except for explaining a few things to, well…I mean I guess we can’t call her sunshine right now. But I do have an idea.”
Devin pulled me back, wiping my tears with his thumb. There was a mischievous glimmer in his eye as the corner of his mouth turned up.
“Hey Hunt, can you go pick Bryce up and bring him to Evan's place? I have an idea that I think might help straighten some things out for these youngins.” He looked down at me. “How do you feel about drinking whiskey sunshine?”
*****
“Evan this isn’t a good idea. He’s not going to want to see me. Not after I how I left the other day.”
“Alight, I hear what you’re saying but I promise you if you drink this whiskey you will start to see how much of a genius idea this is.”
Evan pushed the bottle toward me again as I questioned just how smart this was. Bryce had already told me nothing good comes of drinking whiskey with his brothers. Although, he also said no girls were ever allowed to play this game. Claire had already gotten pissed in front of me that they were all immature and rude for never allowing her and Lilly to join. Picking up the bottle I poured some into a cup and threw it down my throat. The amber liquid seared my esophagus as it slid down and I immediately started to cough. Just as I placed the glass back down the sound of car doors slamming outside rang through the open screen door.
“I don’t know why I needed to come here. I already told Devin that I don’t want to talk about it. It’s over it doesn’t matter.”
Hunter laughed as the sound of heavy footsteps hit the front porch.
“I know the doctor said that hit to your head didn’t do any damage but I think I need to disagree.”
“Shut the fuck up Hunter. You’re such an asshole. By the way Autumn has your number, I gave it to her the other day. Pretty sure she’ll give you a call. I wasn’t going to tell you but now I kind of hope she doesn’t call you and you get to live with knowing she didn’t want to make a move.”
