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“Yeah. Aunt Lilly said so.” Sophie placed her hands on her hips and looked exactly like her mother.
“Sorry girls. Lead the way.” Being pulled upstairs to their playroom I could no longer hear any conversations downstairs. I couldn’t sneak glances.
By the time Claire called us down to eat my stomach was far from settled.
Where would she be sitting?
Would it be ok if I sat near her?
Should I try to sit first so she could make the choice and not make things awkward?
Why the hell was this so difficult?
Two steps off the staircase and everyone’s eyes drifted to me. How the hell in the two minutes it took us to come down did everyone get a plate and sit already? Devin sat at the head with Lilly to his right. Cradled in her arms was Oliver. Claire sat across from her with her husband, Steve, next to her. Hunter was next to him with Luke across from Devin. Evan sat with a smug look on his face with Hannah next to him.
Not a single spot left for me. Luke turned his head just enough for his voice to carry over his shoulder. “Hope you don’t mind sitting with the kids. We could ask Hannah to but…”
Swallowing hard, I cut him off before he could finish. “Nope. Not a problem.” With lead weights tied to my feet, I walked into the kitchen and got my plate of food. This was painful but not impossible. Especially since I planned to tell everyone tonight I was leaving.
I had spoken to Cole and the team was more than happy to hear I planned to get back on the bull. Nicole probably knew even though I asked him to keep it between us. That meant there was a chance Hannah may already know. It would explain why she was here now after missing the last two weeks.
It had been seventeen days since I had seen her. The longest seventeen days of my life. Ones that no matter what I did, my dreams were plagued with the thoughts of her. That was why I decided to go back. On one hand, it would keep my mind busy. On the other hand, if I had another accident I could hope the bull did more than just screw me up for a little while.
Dessert was served and Morgan showed up with a batch of freshly made fudge and homemade ice cream. My stomach had coiled itself so tightly that I nearly threw up at the smell alone.
Evan shoved his plate in front of me. “Surprised you didn’t jump up first.”
“I’m not hungry for dessert today.”
Everyone stopped to stare at me. I never turned down dessert. I was the one who tried to institute a dessert-first rule for several years before they finally decided on my birthday they’d allow it. Hannah was the only one who didn’t move her head at my statement.
“You sick?” Lilly looked up from the diaper change she was midway through.
“No. But I don’t need the extra weight when I ride.”
Hannah placed her spoon down and quietly rose from the table. Only an idiot wouldn’t have noticed the look on her face.
“Hannah, wait.” My voice cracked as the front door slammed shut. Rushing toward the front of Claire’s house Hannah was halfway to her car by the time I reached her.
“Hannah…”
Soft curls fell onto her back as she stood with her hand on the door handle.
“I’m happy for you, Bryce. You’re going to do really great. Cole and everyone have missed having you out there.” Chewing on glass would have led to a more stable voice than what she was managing.
“I’m not. Can you please turn around?”
With great trepidation, her body swiveled enough for the light to catch a tear on her cheek.
“Hannah, fuck. I’m sorry.”
Through hooded eyes, she took a deep breath. “It’s in the past, Bryce. You don’t need to apologize.”
“The fuck I don’t. The shit I said to you. It was completely uncalled for. I was so scared you were going to leave once you figured out how screwed up my head was. My parents left me then Kelly left me. It was just easier to hurt you, and make you hate me. Before someone took you away and I couldn’t have you at all. But Hannah I can’t stop loving you. I can’t stop thinking about you. Worrying about where you are or what you’re doing. I don’t even know where you’re staying. I know you’ve been here working but no one will let me fucking near you. Can’t blame them.”
“Bryce…” her voice was on the thin line of control. “Please. Stop.”
“No. I’m not going to stop. I love you. More than anything else I’ve ever loved before. If you tell me you don’t want me to ever get on a bull again I’ll call my manager up right now. Just, please. Can I please have another chance, I know I don’t deserve it.” My hands raked through my hair landing on the back of my neck.
