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I was shooting portraits that afternoon.
Lucas.
My stomach knotted over itself.
I hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell him I’d moved to LA.
And he’d never texted.
I don’t know why I’d thought he would. We’d pretty much said everything we’d needed to in that fight.
But having some major life changes and not have him around to tell was awful.
I’d known he was on my schedule for the last few days, which had unleashed a flurry of emotions in me that I’d been struggling to deal with. I’d texted Marnie, and she’d told me to just breathe, he had no idea I was going to be there, and it was quick. I could do a quick photo shoot in almost no time.
As long as I didn’t drop the camera.
I picked up my travel mug of coffee and headed down the hallway into one of the open studios. I’d spent the last hour setting things up for the shoot, moving backdrops around, adjusting lightning, biting my thumbnail.
I set my coffee down and looked at the notes again.
The law firm had used the studio before, had a uniform look they wanted to achieve. It was going to be easy enough.
I pulled the backdrop over, got the lights close enough.
Did a couple test shots of my own.
I was debating between being super excited to see him walk through the door and dreading it.
I was terrified I was going to be happy to see him and him be...indifferent.
Ambivalent.
I’d almost considered backing out of the afternoon.
The closer the day got, the more my nerves and fears started running rampant. I could take a sick day, hide out in my house, he’d never know I was even in Los Angeles...and then I remembered, it was Lucas.
My Lucas.
My best friend.
The one who’d been the reason I was there in that studio right now instead of getting ready for a shift at Jimmy’s.
He needed to see the new me...the real me.
The one who’d locked herself away in a cocoon for far too long.
I checked the battery level on my camera and decided it was a little low for my liking. I went to the corner desk, opened the panel on the bottom of the camera and took the battery out, setting it in a nearby charger before taking a fully charged battery out from the case. I slipped it in easily and shut the panel. I powered the camera up, smiling to myself at the hundred percent charge.
I looked at the view again, decided against the lens—something a little larger, I decided, so I didn’t need to get too much in Lucas’ space right away.
The more space we could give each other, the better.
I put the camera down on the desk, the new lens already swapped in, and checked my watch.
I still had about half an hour ’til he’d be there. I needed a coffee. I needed to help steel my nerves. I picked up my travel mug, headed out to the staff room, and refilled it.
The office itself was pretty quiet. Only the two receptionists and another photographer were actually in, everyone else out shooting elsewhere.
