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“Probably two to three hours. We’re scheduled to run about four hours. We’ll pay, and I’ll cover dinner after. And maybe if you have time, we could do dinner and drinks, really have a chance to catch up.”
My shift didn't start ’til six, and I could always be a little late if I let Jimmy know in advance. He'd probably even have let me be as late as needed if I was doing photography again. He and Marnie would be jumping for joy.
The weather was supposed to be okay so I wouldn't have to worry about getting stuck in the snow. I could stow my work clothes in the car and change when I got to the diner.
Just…going back to the college for an event with people I knew…or people who’d taught me… That sent a cataclysmic wave of apprehension through me. Did I want to go through the banter of what was I doing, how was my photography going? And did I hear about what was going on with so and so?
I dreaded those conversations most of all.
Seeing where everyone else was, how successful they were and how I was just…how I couldn’t bring myself to pick up a camera for more than a few minutes at a time. Hell, I barely even took a selfie anymore.
“Let me think about it?” I hedged.
Maybe she’d find someone else in the time it took me to get back to her, but the way she’d said everything made me think I was the only choice she was looking at.
“You have ’til I finish my lunch.” She smiled then took a bite of her sandwich.
I left her to go take a few orders of people who’d just come in, and when it looked like everyone was once again settled with coffees and drinks, I went into the back, going through the box of Christmas decorations Marnie had left on the table to bring up front later. I was glad Jimmy hadn't heard the conversation—even he and Marnie would have been accepting the gig on my behalf.
I picked up a large ‘Merry Christmas’ sign and a couple cardboard Santa figures and the roll of tape and headed back behind the counter. I picked a spot on the wall and taped up the first Santa Claus. I moved over a few feet and added the dancing snowman figure to the wall surface.
“Abbie...”
I put a smile on my face at Professor Nelson's voice. I set the signs and tape down, turned and went back to her. The sandwich was gone, and her coffee cup looked pretty much empty. “Did you want a refill?”
“Love one.” She smiled and nudged her mug closer.
I took her empty plate to the back and came back with the fresh coffee pot. I refilled hers and leaned against the counter, setting the pot a little ways away before doing a quick scan of the room. Everyone seemed okay. Kym, the other waitress, was down at the far end, chatting away with one of the regulars.
“You could be doing so much more.” Professor Nelson’s voice was quieter this time as she leaned forward, crossing her arms in front of her as she rested on her elbows.
“I'm keeping busy.”
I was, honestly.
“With?” There was a hopeful tone to her voice.
“The diner, of course.”
“Abbie, you could be doing a lot more with your talent.”
I’d heard that line from countless people. Well, except for those who kept sending me my rejection letters. Those were peppered with a lot more discouraging lines. I wasn’t innovative enough; I had an eye but not what they were looking for.
Blah, blah, blah.
I could wallpaper at least two walls of my small studio apartment with them if I felt like it. Except I didn’t, so I kept them stored in their nice little envelopes in my filing cabinet. At least there, they were out of sight.
Out of sight, out of mind, that type of thing.
Anything to keep the sting of rejection at bay for a while longer.
“I don’t want to see you waste your gift. You’re more talented than some of the ones you took classes from. You’ve got a lot to share with the world. Don’t hide yourself away for the rest of your days.”
“I won’t.” I wasn’t exactly hiding myself away. I was…recharging. Recalibrating.
“Does that mean you'll do the event on Saturday?”
I caught her watching me. She'd pretty much roped me in there. I’d already said I wouldn't hide myself away, and saying no now, she'd use that against me.
