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“Trust me, I can replace whatever we drink. Got a preference?”
She walked along, reading a few of the labels, rotating one to read it a bit better. “Not really? What goes well with that chocolate cake in the fridge?”
“We shall see…” I started looking through the bottles, making my way across the room. I took one down and handed it to her and kept going. A couple bottles of champagne lay in the corner. I took one of those, too. Might as well celebrate Christmas the right way.
If we were going to be without gifts or friends or family, we might as well do something to enjoy ourselves.
I poured the wine and handed her a glass as she sat on the sofa in her pajama pants and T-shirt, the Christmas tree lights the only light in the room, morphing from one color to another. Clearly, she had gotten tired of the red to green. Now, it cycled between blues and purples and pinks. I kinda liked it. Reminded me a bit of stage lighting.
“Did I make it up to you?”
“What?”
“Everything. Stranded here with me when it’s the last place you want to be. The snowball fight. Just...everything.”
“Hot stone massages? Yes. You’re forgiven. Most definitely forgiven.”
I sat down next to her on the couch. She had one of the sherpa throws over her legs, and she turned to look at me. “You know, it’s not totally your fault I’m stranded here.”
“I asked you to take me to Aspen.”
“I could have kicked you out of my vehicle.”
“I seem to remember you trying.”
“I could have tried harder.” She smiled and looked down into her wine glass.
“True.” I sipped my wine and studied her. “But I’m very determined when I want…needto be.”
“So I see. And remember, you did try to bribe me twice.”
The corner of my mouth lifted into a smile. “I would say Isuccessfullybribed you though, didn’t I?”
“I guess you did. But you know, sometimes…just…it’s not all about money. It’s about the personal touch, being thoughtful, caring. Saying what you want to say with words, actions, not gifts and crazy gestures.”
“The massages were a crazy gesture?”
“No, they were appreciated,” she blew out a small breath. “but not necessary. I don’t know, maybe that’s what you’re used to from the people you spend a lot of time with.”
I broke our gaze, setting the wine glass down. That might have hit a nerve. I was used to doing grand gestures. Grand gestures to show love, to show apology, to show…everything. At some point, maybe I assumed it was expected so I did it without thinking. Like second nature. I let other things speak for me.
I didn’t say the words myself anymore.
I let things take my place, fill in for me…that’s just the way things tended to happen over time. It wasn’t like anyone had complained really. My ex certainly hadn’t.
It made me think in a way my presence truly wasn’t required anymore, as long as I sent something expensive in my place, life went happily on for them.
It wasn’t like they called to check in on me, or texted…or hell, showed up unless they wanted something. Sure if I was in town on tour, they wanted tickets and passes for them and their friends…and I obliged…but if I thought about it too long, the last time I’d had a real visit…one where it was just me and my family, really just on our own hanging out…I’d get really damn depressed.
They say fame changes a person, but they forget to add in the part about how it changes everyone around you too.
My gaze drifted to the roaring fire for a few moments, watching the flickering flames move across the logs, the quietness dancing around us. I stroked my fingers against the leather of the couch, letting the tension that the conversation had brought up fade. It toned down some, but it didn’t fade completely like the fire on one of the almost spent logs.
It still lingered in my body, messing up the relaxation from the massages. Maybe there was another hot shower in my future, I mused. The silence was also starting to weigh heavy—it’d make me uneasy in a very short while.
“I’m gonna hit the sack early. Long day…” I stood up and grabbed the half-empty wine bottle on the table to take with me. “You stay up, enjoy the place. Lots to do.”
“Dean…”
