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Chapter One
(in which God is good)
“Dad?Areyouhearingme?”
Tyler’s voice seemed to come from a hollow distance. With one palm braced against a two-by-four stud, Kevin Murphy inhaled deeply, but he kept the breath controlled and subtle.No need to panic.The wave of painful pressure in the middle of his chest subsided. He curled his fingers into the wood, his hand trembling.Indigestion. Just an excess of jalapenos on my street tacos . . .
Wiping the perspiration from his forehead, Kevin swallowed and looked at his son.“I’m sorry, Ty. Say that again, will you?”
Tyler’s eyes pinched with mild concern as he lowered the speed square in his hand until it rested against his good leg. For a beat, he studied Kevin. “I met Jade when Connor brought her to Matt’s before Thanksgiving. You’ll like her, I promise.”
Seemed off that Ty felt he needed to convince Kevin of Jade’s virtues. If Connor was interested in this woman who had moved into the cabin next to his, then Kevin should trust his son’s judgment. Connor was the steady-on sort. He’d rarely been led off track. Not to mention, he was a full-grown, life-tested man. One who deserved to know the sweet joy of the happiness found in love again.
Should trust.
Trusting Connor’s judgment wasn’t the issue. The real problem was this fatherly surge of protectiveness that, even after well past thirty years of parenting, pulsed strong and unyielding. Losing Sadie had devastated his son, and Kevin had barely borne the pain of watching one of his boys go through that kind of anguish. A father shouldn’t have to witness that sort of loss for his children—it was a unique agony that Kevin had yet to fully work through.
The last thing Connor needed was more heartache. And if Kevin knew anything was certain in life, it was that relationships always came with heartaches.
They bring blessings too!
Yes. There was that, and Kevin was fighting hard to keep that at the forefront of his mind when he thought about Connor and this new woman. The thought kept colliding with the counterargument that a divorced woman with two kids would bring in a whole lot of complications—a fact that was bound to add a bonus level of heartache.
But God works in hard places!
An undefined thread of something strong andnotgood ribboned around Kevin’s gut, as it had more than a few times when he’d thought on his third-born son these days. Undefined only because Kevin had flat out refused to name it. And the emotion wasn’t directed at his son.
Distrust. Resentment. Anger.Any of those labels would likely fit . . .If only he’d be honest.
A fresh squeeze gripped Kevin’s chest before that thought could fully land. This time there was no hiding the wrenching pain that stole his breath, wringing out a hard grunt as he sagged against the framing at his side.
“Dad?” Ty dropped the speed square and pivoted on his prosthetic leg before he hobble-leaped toward Kevin.
“I’m—” Kevin held out a hand, but he couldn’t finish the claim that he was fine. The world blurred out of focus, becoming a hazy mess of two-by-fours and power tools. Then Ty’s dark eyes filled his view with wide panic. Swallowing, Kevin moved his lips again, intending to say he was fine.
Heneededto be fine. There were things left unreconciled between him and this life—his heart and God’s.
Instead, the increasingly cruel vise gripping within forced a groan from deep in his chest.
“Dad!” Ty’s iron grip clamped on Kevin’s shoulder, preventing his collapse to the ground.
Strange. Sweat seeped from Kevin’s pores, but he felt so chilled that his son’s meaty hand almost burned against his skin.
A dark fog invaded the blur that had been Kevin’s vision, and the sound of spring-melt powered waters filled his ears. This was not the work of jalapenos. This was much more serious.
“Heart att—” Had he mumbled that?
“Hang on, Dad.” Tyler’s voice rumbled above him. Seemed like it came from a long distance. And why from above? He and Ty were nearly the same height.
“Ambulance is on its way . . .”
It’d been a very long time since he’d ridden in an ambulance. Since Connor had been a swell in Helen’s belly. That had been the turning point. The catalyst.
Beauty from ashes . . .
“Hang on, Dad.”
Emotion cracked in his son’s voice, pulling an ache from Kevin’s soul. Ty had already lost so much in life, and his fall into darkness had been nearly as severe as Kevin’s had once been. He hadn’t wanted any of his boys to stumble down the path of addiction that he’d trod. Had prayed from the moment he’d truly become a praying man that they wouldn’t. Watching Ty do so had been excruciating.
