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“Don’t worry about the house or anything like that, okay, Mom?” Jacob pulled her in tighter. “Kate is going over right after she gets the kids fed. She’ll make sure the rooms are all in order, and she’ll see that the cabin and Gert are ready for people as well.”
That pricked a small smile and sparked a touch of laughter in her heart, a thing that seemed so monumental considering their situation. When Kate had become Helen’s first daughter-in-law, no one would have thought that she would even know how to prep bedrooms for people, let alone a skoolie. But years had a way of changing people—sometimes for the worst and sometimes for the better. Helen was convinced that her people had grown for the better.
Helen found Jacob’s blue eyes. “Maybe it’s about time your dad and I try that boondocking life.”
The man grinned and nodded. “You’d like it. Gertrude is the best little house on wheels you could ask for, and Kate and I can give you all the best pointers.”
They had talked about it, she and Kevin. Often. Had even purchased Gertrude the Skoolie from Jacob and Kate several years back. Kevin just needed to figure out how to slow down a bit. How to hand over the reins to his construction business completely into Tyler’s capable hands. And specifically over the past two years, how to lay down the things that plagued his heart. The disappointments that had hit him harder than he’d been prepared for and had put him into an exhausting wrestling match with God.
It just doesn’t seem fair, Helen. Watching Connor go through this when we’d all believed. When he’s worked his whole life to do what is right and good . . . I know that it’s small and weak of me, but I can’t get past it . . .
Helen had cried with her husband many times, many nights. Because, though she didn’t battle the resentment the same way Kevin did, she knew what he meant. Watching your son lose the love of his life wasn’t something any parent ever wanted to experience. And while Kevin feared that Helen would think less of him by admitting that his heart was engaged in such a battle, she only loved him more for his vulnerable honesty.
Men, it turned out, felt deeply. Incredibly so—and that had become a revelation over the years of her marriage. Maybe because she was raised without brothers or because her dad had been a stern man. The never-let-em-see-you-cry type. Helen didn’t know for sure. But realizing that her young husbandfeltto the depth of his soul had pried open the deepest places of her own heart for him. Because of that, she came to see that so much of Kevin’s struggles with alcohol had been rooted in emotion he didn’t know how to deal with. Knowing such had also acted as a catalyst to a level of intimacy with her husband that Helen hadn’t known was possible.
Such a beautiful gift, Lord. Thank You for it.
Tyler wrapped his arm around her from the opposite side of where Jacob was. “Dad would tell us to pray.”
A stray tear dripped from Helen’s eye. “Yes. He would do that. And I suspect you have been.”
Jacob and Tyler exchanged a look and nodded. Then Jacob swallowed. “I could never take Dad’s place, but—” His deep voice cracked.
Helen rubbed his back. “You have taken your own place. All of you have—and are such fine men. You do know that Dad and I are incredibly proud of you, don’t you?”
Tears swam in both boy’s eyes.
Jacob sniffed and swallowed again and then bowed his head. “God . . .” His words broke. He drew a new breath and tried again. “My dad, God . . .” The full-grown man who had behaved like a stone for several years while he and Kate were estranged from the family trembled as he held on to Helen.
At her other side, Tyler shifted to lay a comforting grip on Jacob’s shoulder. “Yeah, God,” Tyler prayed. “You know what’s happening with Dad. We’re not ready to let him go.”
Helen squeezed her closed eyes, and more tears dripped onto her cheeks. Pressing into more than thirty years of faith, she spoke into the aching silence that had settled. “The truth is, Father, we will never be ready to let him go.” She gulped back the surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her and then pressed on. “Oh, God, give us strength where we are weak, healing where there is brokenness, and grace where our trust falters. Help us to say with Jesus,Your will be done.And in this and through it all, no matter what happens next, give us each new faith to know that in good times or in bad, You are always faithful. You are always good.”
Both men pressed in closer, and she squeezed them harder.
“Mrs. Murphy?” called a cautious voice from the edge of the waiting room.
Helen stepped back from the small cove her boys had created, swiping tears from her cheeks before she turned to the young man waiting for her response. “I am Helen Murphy.”
With walnut-brown hair and nearly golden eyes, somewhere in his mid to late twenties, the medical professional in scrubs reminded her of Brayden. How often had her youngest son been in this young man’s shoes—going to talk to the family? Possibly to deliver bad news?
Such a hard, hard thing to do.
Lord, help him as You do us . . .
Helen lifted her chin. “Are you the doctor?”
“I am, ma’am. Dr. Katz.” He motioned to a nearby sitting arrangement. “Would you like to sit while we talk for a few moments?”
That couldn’t mean anything good, could it? Helen nodded, and her boys flanked her as they all sat. Dr. Katz folded his hands as he leaned his elbows against his knees. “First, your husband is stable for the moment.”
A great gust of relief blew from Helen’s lungs. She’d been so afraid . . . so certain that the worst had happened. That Kevin was gone. A sob quaked through her frame before she could catch it back. Sniffing, she nodded. “That is good news.”
“It is. A great relief, to be honest, because it wasn’t looking good for a time.” Dr. Katz sat back, his look of concern uneased. “However, we’re not clear of danger yet. I’m recommending a transfer to a larger hospital so that a cardiac specialist can see him.”
“What do you mean by not clear of danger?” Tyler asked.
“We’ve given Kevin a clot-busting medication to restore blood flow to the blocked arteries in his heart. As I said, he is stable now, so that seems to have worked. But in a hospital this size, we don’t have the ability to determine the extent of damage Kevin’s heart has suffered, and he needs to see a cardiologist for definitive care.” Dr. Katz pulled in a long breath. “The thing is, I suspect he may need more involved procedures—surgery—to address this heart issue.”
