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“I ordered some bottles for you,” Ma said from across the table. I’d taken to calling her Ma. Rosa felt too official, and when I’d called her it the first time, her beaming smile told me that she liked it.
As usual, it was just us girls eating breakfast. The guys were talking business, and even though part of me was intrigued what it was about, my tiredness bled all over it and all I could think about was the fact that once Dario stopped feeding, I could have a nap.
“Bottles?” I asked, frowning. I was breastfeeding, wanting to try it out properly and hoping I could keep it up. If I couldn’t, then I had no shame in switching him to formula, but right now, I wanted to keep going.
“And a breast pump.” Ma shoved a forkful of fruit and yogurt into her mouth, her gaze landing on me and Dario, although I had a coverup on so my boob wasn’t presented at the table. I wanted to at least keep a little dignity around the house. “You need to have a break, gioia. If you pump, then we can help feed him.” She pointed her spoon at me. “And maybe you can get more than two hours’ sleep at a time.” She paused, tilting her head to the side. “And school…”
My heart raced in my chest as I thought about school. I hadn’t been for over a month, but I was lucky that I’d gotten myself ahead of my work, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before I needed to go back and finish. I only had about six weeks left total, and I needed to attend them to get my high school diploma.
“I don’t think I’m ready to go back,” I said, adjusting myself on the seat so that I could lean my arm on the table. It was starting to go dead with the weight of Dario in the same position.
“Then don’t go back,” Sofia said, shrugging. She was a free spirit. I was learning that more and more.
“But if I don’t, then I won’t graduate.” I was contradicting myself. I bit down on my bottom lip, allowing myself to think about going back to school. Everything was different now.Iwas different. But I only had six weeks left. I had to make a decision, and quickly. But… “I can’t leave Dario.”
“Sure you can,” Sofia said, just as easily as she said not to go back. “If you pump your magic milk, then anyone can feed him.” Her eyes widened and she bounced in her seat. “We can make a babysitting schedule!”
I chuckled at her, but I still wasn’t sure. How was I supposed to leave him all day and concentrate at school? How was I supposed to do anything but be a mom to him?
“I don’t know…” I licked my lips, feeling Dario pull away from my nipple. As soon as he did, I adjusted him and myself, then pulled the cloth from over him. His eyes were open, milk drooling around his mouth. He looked as happy as he could ever be.
“You don’t need to decide now,” Ma said, standing and making her way around to me. She took Dario out of my arms, and I let her, knowing that without her these last couple of weeks, I would have been lost. She’d taught me so much that no books ever could. Like the night that he’d cried for six hours constantly, then had an explosive diaper that solved it all. Or the time where he refused to latch on but cried because he was hungry.
The door swung open just as Ma held him to her chest, talking to him and telling him all about what she had planned for the day. He stared at her intently as if he could understand every word she was saying.
“Morning, beautiful,” Dante greeted, placing a soft kiss on my lips. It was all we’d done since I had Dario, and I couldn’t deny I’d wanted more. But apparently we had to wait a little longer, according to the doctor. I’d waited eight months between times last time, so why did this feel like a marathon that I wasn’t sure I’d finish?
“Take her to bed,” Ma told Dante, and at her words, I immediately went bright red.
“Ma!” Sofia shouted, followed by loud laughter.
“I didn’t mean it like that. She needs sleep.” Ma rolled her eyes at Sofia. “Go and get me the baby swing. I’m going to teach my grandson how to make my famous pudding.”
Sofia pushed back her chair. “You do realize he can’t understand you, right, Ma?”
Ma waved her hand at her, not taking a bit of notice as she pushed through the other door into the room that led into the kitchen, leaving just me and Dante.
“You had breakfast yet?” he asked, pulling the seat out next to me.
My gaze trailed over him, hungry for something else entirely. He must have had an important meeting today because his white button-up shirt was tucked into black slacks. But it was the way the shirt was rolled up to his elbows, showcasing his tan, muscular arms that had my mouth drying up. The top two buttons were undone, giving a glimpse to the gold chain he always wore around his neck.
“No,” I whispered, pushing my chair back a little. “But I am hungry.”
Dante nodded, reaching for several pastries and putting them on our plates. He wasn’t paying attention to me, couldn’t see the look in my eyes. He was off somewhere else, but I was determined for him to see how much I’d craved him over the last couple of weeks.
We may not have been able to have sex, but that didn’t mean other things were off the table.
Dante turned his head away from me as he put some slices of meat onto his plate and I took my opportunity to slip under the table. My knees sunk into the carpet as I shuffled forward, positioning myself between his legs. I hadn’t touched him yet, but he hadn’t realized I was no longer sitting next to him either.
It was the first time I’d done anything like this, but my life was full of firsts lately, so adding another one to the list didn’t scare me, not like it used to.
“Navy?” I placed my hands on his knees, causing him to jerk backward. “What the—” His head dipped down so he could see me under the table, his brows furrowing. “Navy? What are you…” He trailed off as I smoothed my hands up his thighs, only stopping when I got to his zipper. I unlatched the top button and pulled the zipper down, exposing him to me.
“I want you,” I told him. It wasn’t the first time I’d said it in the last few days, but it was the first time he looked at me with fire in his eyes. He wanted to take care of me—I understood that—but I wanted to take care of him too.
“Stop,” he demanded, but there was no bark behind his words. It was as if he was saying it just to say it.
I shook my head, not saying a word as I wrapped my hand around his cock, pumping it a couple of times. He groaned, the sound turning me on. I was already wet beneath my shorts, but there was nothing I could do about it. Not yet anyway. The doctor had said to give it at least four weeks. Which meant I had another two weeks of waiting.
