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“I’m pregnant,” I repeated out loud.
“You’re pregnant.”
I blinked, bringing the test closer to my face. I definitely wasn’t dreaming this. It was real life—my life.
“Who’s the dad?” Zara asked.
I snapped my head up, staring at her perfectly made-up face. Her lashes were twice as long with the mascara she wore. “It was that guy from the party we went to.”
She frowned. “What party?”
Letting out a breath in frustration, I said, “The one at that penthouse.” She stared at me like I had two heads. “I told you about him. His name was Dante.” I tried not to think about that night or all the ways he’d made me feel. He’d played my body like a master at his craft, and since then, nothing else had felt like it was worth it. The boys at school didn’t compare to when he looked at me.
“Wait.” She threw her hands up in the air, her eyes bugging out. “Dante? The penthouse?”
“Ye—”
“Oh my fucking God.” She slapped her hand over her mouth, but she still talked around it. “Navy, that penthouse is Lorenzo Beretta’s.”
“No.” I felt like my heart stopped, my entire body freezing. I shook my head, not believing what she was saying. There was no way I’d gone to a Mafia boss’s place. I would have known, right?
“And Dante…that’s his brother.” She glanced down at my stomach. “You’re having a Mafia baby!”
Zara’s words swirled around and around in my mind almost every day, but it was even worse when my dad was home. It was like they were taunting me, daring me to come clean about everything. Every time I was in the same room as my dad, it felt like the words were on the tip of my tongue, ready to blurt out at any second. He’d be angry if he found out I was pregnant, but I knew it would benothingcompared to if he found outwhohad gotten me into this state. He’d be beyond furious…murderous even. And the last thing I needed was for my dad to go on a rampage, especially when there was only two people in this world who knew I was pregnant: myself and Zara.
“Finally,” Dad said as I walked into the kitchen calmly, the complete opposite to how I was feeling inside. “I thought you’d never make an appearance.”
I smiled, trying to keep all of my nerves at the back of my mind, but it didn’t make a difference. When Dad was home, I was a nervous wreck, which made me glad that he wasn’t here half of the time because of his work. Silver linings and all that.
“I didn’t sleep well last night,” I told him as an excuse. It was the truth, but I wouldn’t tell him it was because the baby was moving around like crazy.
I grabbed a protein bar and a banana, then headed toward the door, but his voice a few feet behind stopped me. “Don’t forget I’ll be gone for the next few days.” I turned my head to look at him but kept my body facing forward. “I’ve got some work on the other side of the state to do.”
“Okay.” My nerves calmed a little at the idea of having a few days’ reprieve where I didn’t have to hide the bump inside the house. “I’ll see you at the end of the week, then?”
He looked at me, his light-brown eyes staring right at me as he pushed his hand through his short salt-and-pepper hair. “Hopefully. If it takes any longer, I’ll let you know, okay?”
“Okay.” I smiled, lifted my hand in a wave, then turned back around. “See you later, Dad.”
“Love you,” he shouted after me.
“Love you, too!” I tried to get out of the front door as quickly as I could without looking suspicious, and as soon as I was in my car, I felt like I could finally breathe easy again.
I sat there for a minute, just waiting, trying to get my bearings and make sense of everything in my head. But it was hard. I was keeping a secret, but I knew it wouldn’t stay that way. I was running out of time. I had decisions to make, I just didn’t knowhowto make them.
“I’ll figure it out,” I murmured, looking down at my stomach. “I promise, I’ll figure it out.” I didn’t know whether I was telling myself or the baby bump, but either way, I had no choice but to make a plan and then stick to it. The problem was…I had no idea what it would be.
Taking a deep breath, I then switched the engine on and glanced up just as Dad was coming out of the front door. He lifted his hand in a wave as he walked toward his black SUV, turning as he got in, and the three yellow letters on the back of his jacket called to me like a beacon.
FBI.
See, this was where the crux of the problem was. My dad had been an FBI agent since before I was born. He lived to take down the “bad guys.” It was what he did day in and day out. And since my mom had passed five years ago, he’d worked more and more, trying to take away the pain of her loss and fill it with work.
So, me being pregnant wasn’t the only thing I was scared to tell him. I was petrified to tell him where I’d been and who I’d been with. How was I supposed to explain it? How was I supposed to justify what I’d done?
The reality was, there was nothing I could say or do that would make it better. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and all I wished was to disappear into a world where I didn’t have to confront the demons that were waiting for me.
Dad’s engine roared to life, jerking me out of my thoughts. I was blocking him in, so I reversed out of the driveway, then drove toward school.
