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Simon nodded in agreement. “It was a spectacular sunrise, I agree.”
“You were awake so early?” Lady Genevievetsked. “I should have thought you would want to get as much rest as possible for the night ahead.”
Simon met Everett’s gaze and saw that he was growing annoyed with his cousin’s line of questioning and its ever-increasing suggestive bent. “As I can see, you are so worried about my welfare, I will tell you I did not sleep a wink last night.”
This seemed to cause Lady Genevieve to think about her callous way of speaking of his obvious discomfort with the situation. Everett eyed his young cousin again and stepped forward. “No one would blame you, my friend. I am sure every groom does not sleep well the night before his wedding. However, it is all over now, and we are here to celebrate. Shall we go and get some punch?”
Simon allowed Everett to turn him toward the refreshment table at the other end of the room. They passed by Lady Ellen and her sisters, and they immediately quieted as they approached. Simon let out a breath. “Perhaps something a little stronger than punch is in order.”
Chapter 9
Ellen tried to put on a show for their guests that she was the blushing bride. However, she was anything but comfortable on her wedding day. She glanced across the hall where Simon was standing with his friends. She did not know how to act around him. He made her so nervous, with his charming smile and handsome face.
She could not help but wonder what that night would bring, and she felt sick all over again. The woman at his side laughed, and Ellen felt a pinprick of something akin to jealousy strike her heart. Turning away, she told herself that she should not feel this way. He was her husband now, after all.
She knew that her father had done what he thought best in securing a good match for her, but she was wildly disappointed. Over the last few weeks leading up to the wedding, she could not help wondering if she and Simon were well-matched. What if she was a disappointment to him, and they spent the rest of their lives in this awkward limbo?
The morning had worn into the afternoon, with the wedding breakfast moving straight into toasts and dancing. She was glad that Simon did not suggest they leave the festivities early. Indeed, she would be pleased to postpone that part of the wedding day for as long as possible. In truth, she was terrified of what the evening would bring.
Ellen had been speaking with an older couple whom she had known all her life when she felt a pang of anxiety overwhelm her. Her stomach lurched, and she quickly excused herself.
“Forgive me, I think I should like some fresh air,” she said. She gave a tight smile and hurried away from the hall and into the library. Once in solitude, she closed her eyes, planting her hands on her hips. She took several deep breaths as her heart pounded. She felt as if she had run a long way, despite having been stationary for most of the day.
“God, what have I done?” she whispered.
“It seems to me you have made a very good decision,” a voice sounded behind her. Ellen jumped and swung around to see Golda entering the room. She gave her an understanding smile and approached her. “What is it, little sister?” she asked.
Ellen let out a breath. “It is nothing. I just needed a breath of fresh air,” she said by way of an excuse.
Golda looked around at the library. “Oh, well, of course, a stuffy library is exactly the place I would have chosen as well,” she teased. She took Ellen’s hand, and she let out a self-deprecating laugh. “What is really going on, sister?”
Ellen expelled a breath, her face turning serious. “I am nervous, I suppose.”
“For what?”
Ellen shifted uncomfortably. “Well, for…later.”
Understanding dawned on her sister’s features. “Ahh, I see. Well, I do not think you have anything to fear, Ellen. Simon will be gentle—.”
“Please, I do not want to hear anymore,” she said, walking away. She wrapped her arms around her middle. “What if—What if I am not good enough for him?”
Golda softened.
“I wish you could see the way he looked at your today. He has barely been able to take his eyes off of you. I think that he is very much in danger of falling madly in love with you.”
She sighed and joined Ellen at the window. Outside, the sun had begun its descent, casting an enchanted golden light over the landscape. The trees were all bare now, the sun shining through them to make broken shadows on the ground. Ellen dropped her chin, knowing she was being overdramatic, but she did not know how to help it.
Golda placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her. She waited until Ellen met her gaze. “Allow me to offer some advice, Sister.” She took her hands again. “I thought I knew everything there was to know about life before I got married. And then I found myself on a whole new level.”
Ellen expelled another breath. “I suppose you are going to tell me what Mama did, that being married is the best thing one can be?”
“No, I will not say that. Mama is right, in her way. But when I first got married, it was terrible. But not in the way you might imagine. Marriage showed me what a selfish person I was. It was difficult to come face to face with the insecurities and greediness I saw in myself.”
She let out a sigh and smiled. “But I would not take back a second of it, because being married to Thomas has made me a better version of myself. As the Good Book says, we have made each other better, like iron sharpening iron.”
Ellen scrunched up her face. “It does not sound very pleasant. You make marriage sound like two rocks being smashed against each other.”
“Yes, it is much like that. But that is what smooths out the hard edges, is it not?” Golda looked mildly amused. “Marriage is not easy, Ellen, but it is what you make it. If you treat your husband like he is an imposition, do not be surprised if you are lonely. He will not take such treatment for long before he decides to leave you be. Indeed, he is already finding companionship with his friends instead of you on his wedding day.”
