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She hugged him, then he maneuvered through the sea of people and took a deep breath of night air once he got outside. He walked to his truck and climbed in. Instead of putting the key in the ignition though, he just sat there, staring out the windshield at everything and nothing. He’d never felt so directionless before. His mother had said his heart would tell him the right path to take, but could he trust his heart?
Things were easier before he’d let himself get involved with a quiet schoolteacher. He had his adventures, both here and abroad. He had his close friends and family. He had Ginger. Why did he have to get greedy and want Leah too?
Shaking his head, he stabbed the key into the ignition and his truck roared to life. If his arm wasn’t broken, he’d hop on one of his ATVs and go for a head-clearing ride through the woods. He’d have to settle for a movie on his couch with Ginger instead. Not that his head would be cleared by that, but he knew he couldn’t go home and deal with the silence there. Not when he knew what it was like to have Leah’s laughter and conversation fill the cabin.
Not when he knew what it was like to have her body in his bed, in his arms.
After a short ride, he pulled into his driveway. As he stepped out of his truck, Ginger’s bark reached him from inside.
“I’m coming, pup. Keep your fur on,” he grumbled. Normally he appreciated his pooch’s zealous greetings, but everything sucked ass tonight.
He opened his front door and the darkness, the quiet beat him up. Luckily, his phone rang in his pocket. He swiped the screen when he saw Noah’s number.
“Hey.”
“Guess what?” Noah’s voice had an excitement lacing it that rubbed Dakota the wrong way. He didn’t have space for excitement tonight.
“You’re going for that sex change operation after all these years of living a lie.”
“Don’t be an asshole,” Noah said, but a laugh backed the words. “So Nana’s Rabid Romance Readers group gave her the craziest birthday present.”
Dakota waited a beat, but Noah didn’t say more. “Are you going to tell me what it is?” He didn’t have the patience even for his best friend tonight.
“Yes, just making sure you’re paying attention.”
Dakota wasn’t sure what importance an eighty-year old’s birthday present would have to him, but at least talking to Noah kept him from stepping any further into the emptiness of his living room. “I am.”
“Okay. So the gift was a reading cruise.”
“A what?”
“A reading cruise.”
“That’s a thing?”
“Apparently. A bunch of bookworms go out on a cruise ship and do book-related activities and shit. I don’t know the details and I don’t care. Nana is psyched. Her whole group is going together. It leaves in three days and runs for two weeks around New England waters. Up and down the coast. It’s catered to the older crowd. Gives them enough of a feeling of being far away, but it’s still close to land if an emergency should arise.”
“Good for Nana. She deserves a nice time.”
“She does, but dude, you’re not putting the pieces together. Are you sure you didn’t damage that hard-as-concrete head of yours?” Noah puffed out a breath into the phone. “With Nana gone for two weeks, that leaves me free of grandmother watch duty. I could… oh, I don’t know… travel to New Zealand, let’s say.”
Wait a minute.“Man, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Let’s go, Dakota. Let’s finally do it.”
Chapter Seventeen
At recess on Wednesday, Luke came up to Leah on the playground. The boy put his hands on his hips and asked, “Are you okay, Miss Greenstead?”
“Sure,” she said. “Why do you ask, Luke?”
He squinted up at her. “You’ve been sighing a lot this week.”
“I have?” She didn’t recall doing that aloud. She was just so tired. Her sleeping hours had been filled with nightmares instead of actual sleep. In the nightmares, she was trapped in an airport and dodging bullets. When she finally found a way out of the airport, a crumpled car was the only thing outside. All of that was clearly representative of what had happened to Chase and her family.
Things got weird, however, when she peeked into the car in the dream and found Dakota at the wheel instead of Chase. At this point, she always shot awake, sweat coating her body.
Would she ever sleep again, dammit?
