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My poor finances had made it so that I wasn’t able to afford high-end fashion, but I knew designers by heart, and Paul’s bespoke navy Capri Mélange twill two-buttonsuit was the epitome of sophistication. The stark white shirt unbuttoned at the collar softened his style. But it wasn’t just his clothing. Being observed unsuspectingly under the full impact of the Crane’s incredible sea-blue eyes struck me speechless.Breathtaking.
Paul’s expression sharpened, and his broad shoulders were stiff as he watched me. “Are you all right?” he asked. Under the weight of his gaze and the strength of his tone, I felt compelled to give him an answer.
“I know you don’t know me, and I promise not to bother you, but I want to say I’m sorry for your loss.”
My face warmed, and my nerves were jittery. I tore away my gaze and glanced down at my ballet flats as I realized my error. I’d broken the unsaid rule of sharing spaces with the elite and famous in New York City: I’d dared to speak to one of them. My thoughts filled with what he must see: a plain woman in a handmade sweater dress and tights, with a French braid down her back and no makeup. It was a part of my plan to appear more subdued and mature. But more than likely, I appeared as a mere peasant to someone of his social status.What’s Paul Crane doing at New Solutions Family Planning anyway?Sure, it was located in a plush suite on the exclusive Park Avenue, but did he have a new wife? Were they trying for a baby? Surrogacy was only part of what the agency offered.
His beefy bodyguard came forward and stood in the space between our chairs. “The office is available.”
“I’m fine,” he told him but stood. I couldn’t help but stare at the way his powerful, lean frame owned that suit. He was stunningly elegant, but oh, so much more.
Paul turned back to me and said, “Thank you.”
I was instantly annoyed at the burst of joy that erupted in my chest at his mere acknowledgment. I let my eyes drift around, but they were pulled back to him. He was still standing there, almost like he was waiting for me to look at him again. Our eyes locked, and this time, I found a wildness in the force that radiated from him. It had a sensualism to it that sparked something carnal in me. I flushed and forced myself to lower my head to avoid doing anything that might make him aware of my dirty thoughts about him right after I’d offered condolences.Talk about tasteless. Even though time had passed, I was disgusted by my rudeness. Thankfully, he eventually left.
Dr. Casey’s door finally opened. She was an elderly woman wearing a lab coat over a striped shirt, tie, and slacks. “Sorry, I had an emergency phone call. Come on in. These interviews are taped for our records. All nondisclosure and confidentiality agreements have been signed and will be honored.”
She tested her recorder, sat behind her large oak desk, and opened a folder. She adjusted the glasses on the bridge of her nose. “Your physical exam results suggest you’re a virgin, but on your sheet, you say you aren’t. Why?”
I ran the back of my hands down my knit dress. “I think of virginity as never been touched. I have given oral sex before, so—”
“Medically, we consider a broken hymen a loss of virginity. But some are not intact without sexual intercourse. There is no definitive answer, but your answer helps us understand you better. Your preferred method of birth is a cesarean section? Are you aware of all that is involved?”
I nodded. “I read about it.”
“A baby can be hard on the body, both physically and emotionally. Yes, you can make money with a successful birth, but it’s not one hundred percent guaranteed. We may neverfind a match for you. The number of tries for implantation can be damaging, and there is a chance you may never be able to give birth again. Pregnancy doesn’t always happen on the first implantation. It could take several. Sometimes you miscarry. I haven’t even touched on the bound legal ties you will have with the family. One family might decide to delay or leave, and we’d have to match you with a new family. Therefore, you can’t think of this as nine months out of your life, but possibly about two years. Are you seriously prepared to give up years of your life and commit to monogamous sex for a family you don’t know, all rights surrendered, and never allowed any contact with the child?”
I pursed my lips. “You sound like you’re trying to talk me out of it.”
“I’m trying to understand why you want to do this. You were abandoned by your birth mom and don’t even know your dad. I’d say you’ve had a lifetime of hardship. Why would you want to make things harder for yourself? Make me understandyou.” She steepled her fingers under her chin. But I understood she was trying to get under my skin with her harsh assessment of my life.
I straightened to sit taller in the chair. “You’re right. My birth mom left me when I was five. My birth father didn’t sign my birth certificate. Unlike most, I know firsthand what it’s like to experience the difficulties of an unplanned pregnancy. I know what it’s like not to know how to tie my shoes or write my name because my mom was a teenager and barely knew how to care for herself, let alone a child. I’d been left with strangers, ate scraps out of garbage, and slept in a car in below-freezing temperatures. My mom loved me enough to give me a better life, and I’m blessed to have had that. My parents wanted a daughter, and they took me in and gave me everything they had. I’m eternally grateful to my birth mom for giving me to them. Ibelieve I can live with knowing I helped a family, like my own, have a child that they can care for and love.”
She sat back in her chair and scoffed. “You have a dreamy, altruist attitude, but surrogacy is hard work. You’re a beautiful college student, and I don’t really see you willing to go the long haul. Money is a motivating factor, but with work, you have the potential to overcome your financial difficulties. You claim detachment, but when a baby is growing inside you, you will feel more of a connection. You’re too naïve about your body and haven’t experienced much of your sexuality to be able to make a definite decision. I fear if you do, you’ll drop out early, disappointing the families. I don’t feel like you’re being honest enough with yourself and have completely disassociated with your feelings toward abandonment. Therefore, I’m turning down my recommendation for surrogacy.”
Her dismissive tone, coupled with the sheer finality of the moment, made all the breath escape my lungs.After making me spend a day with them, this stranger has the power to turn me down cold.
“That’s completely unfair. You don’t even know me. You asked a couple of questions, and that’s it? Unbelievable!” I snatched my bag from the floor.
“Now, I can recommend you for egg donation. If you successfully complete the donation cycle, you can get up to ten thousand dollars.”
I snorted and placed my bag on my right shoulder. “You’re wrong about me. Honestly, there is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my family. A couple of years of sacrifice that could reap a lifetime of not worrying about my next meal or if I’ll lose my parents prematurely? My answer is easy. Oh, and don’t bother with your recommendation. I’ll try somewhere else.”
She sat taller in her seat and gave me a tight smile. “I service all of New York State. I’m sorry things didn’t work out, Nadia.”
I lifted my chin and shut her door with more force than I intended. But then again, I was coldly rebuffed, so there wasn’t any reason to be polite.
Storming out of the office, I ignored the receptionist, who had the nerve to ask me for an exit interview. Seriously, after being strung along for hours and judged, I had no intention of giving that agency one more minute of my time.
My eyes stung with unshed tears by the time I reached the sidewalk.Twice in a day?
The bus I needed pulled from the corner, leaving me to stand in the shelter for another forty minutes. My mind raced as I went over my interview.I’m healthy. Why was I rejected? Why Isabelle and not me? What in the world am I going to do now?
A horn blared, and I looked up to see a couple of people arguing over a space. But behind them was Paul Crane. He turned his head and looked directly at me. My pulse quickened, and I forced myself to face away from him.
“Excuse me, miss?”
I turned and recognized the bodyguard that was with Paul Crane.
