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"I know, River Blue. But he's always cautious and calculating our next moves. You're a move he didn't anticipate," he says, kissing my temple.
"But you actively set out to meet me, right?" Kieran blanches at my question and stiffens with me in his arms, giving away his true intentions.
Blowing out a breath. "Truth?" he questions, and I nod. "We wanted to meet you because of who your dad was, but I didn't expect it to be you. You were a surprise, River Blue. The truth is, I'd track you down, again and again, to be with you. No matter what.”
Kieran's confession doesn't surprise me in the least. But my heart does sting. What would have happened if I hadn't been his River Blue and was just some rando they intended on using? Would they have taken it this far and brought me here for a weekend of fun? Doubt creeps in where it shouldn't, filtering through the sliced-open cracks of my heart. In the back of my mind, I've always had my guard up around them and lived in the present. But sometimes, it does nag and tugs at me, making me re-examine every interaction.
The number of times people have come into the record shop claiming to be my brothers and wanting to talk to me is astronomical. They waltz in with a chip on their shoulder and a smarmy smile and run out like their asses are on fire, with fear lining their faces.
Let's say these persistent ass people don't like meeting the end of my knife when I whip it out and tell them to kick rocks. They'll hesitate. They'll beg, flashing me megawatt grins. Pfft. Like that shit will convince me. In the end, I shoo them out with a knife shake and a cackle. Never seeing their scammy faces ever again. Seriously, who is afraid of a five-foot-five girl holding a knife? Apparently, those jokers. But good thing.
People hear the West name and go bonkers with greed, wanting to meet with my sperm donor in person. For some reason, they always think I'm that person. Sure, I am a West, but I'm not connected to shit. My brothers, possibly sisters, and father—are strangers to me. One day though, I’ll waltz into their operations and introduce myself after I’ve lifted myself out of poverty and have made it as some big-wig manager. Then they’ll see and regret the day they blew off River West.
I always wanted to distance myself from my family and run from the West name-sake. But family is everything. I couldn't have gotten through the last few days or weeks without my mom, Ode, and her family—hell, even the boys. Helping the guys has shown me that music lives and runs in my veins. I've nailed many of the challenges a business career could throw at me.
Managing a music venue—check. Building a band's social profiles—check. Managing a band—check.
"Well, now we're hopefully going to California," I say, leaning back to look at him, dreaming of our future at the tips of our fingers, ready for grasping.
Well, maybe. They may have submitted their application to the Battle of the Bands, but it still has to be reviewed and announced, which should be coming up in the next week or two. For now, we sit on the edges of our seats in anticipation of what will come.
"We're definitely going. There's no question about it," Kieran proclaims. "They're going to beat down our doors to get a piece of us." I snort at his confidence but revel in it, too. Whispered Words is good—well—more than fucking good. They're unique and saturated in raw talent that the world will eat up and take hostage. I can only imagine what people across the globe will think when their ears feast on Whisper Words’ tunes.
"Will you go anyway?" I ask, biting my bottom lip. The question has been on the tip of my tongue for weeks. And why wouldn’t they? They’re free to live their dreams and leave this hellhole, even if I’m not a part of the equation.
His palms lightly encase my cheeks, holding me still as his mismatched eyes examine the sadness taking over my face. The thought of separating from them sends pain across my chest. Rubber bands constrict around my lungs, and panic soon settles into my soul. Never in my life did I think I'd want to depend on anyone again; yet, I am right back down the love…rabbit hole. The same damn place I refused to return to after Van obliterated my trust and crushed my cracked heart into pieces. It took me months to get over the sudden breakup. I mean, obviously. I still let that bastard slither between my legs when I was supposed to be working.
The front door bursts open with a loud bang reverberating off the tall, vaulted ceilings, and Rad and Callum's loud laughter and chatter fill the space. Noisy plastic bags rustle in their hands, but I can't drag my eyes away from Kieran as he stands tall. Those mismatched eyes take all of me in. From the tips of my toes to my heaving chest and finally gaze longingly into my eyes.
"We'll wait for you, River Blue, to finish whatever you have to do at home. You're in school and…"
"Fuck no," I say, swallowing the pain of my words. "You guys have to take the opportunity now. You can't wait." I shake my head in his grip, refusing to believe they’d wait around for me when something so spectacular has been laid before them. As much as I want them by my side, I can’t destroy their dreams.
"That's right, we will, Pretty Girl! You're our girlfriend." My lips pop open to refute his proclamation, but I hold my tongue. That fact is, I am their damn girlfriend by now—all of them—even the evil one who refuses to show me how he feels. Wrinkling my nose, I glare at a grinning Rad, who zeros in on my unsaid realization with a knowing look.
"Fuck yes! You finally get it, don't you? We'll wait for you if you can't make it to California. Maybe we'll try the Chicago circuit. They're always looking for new talent, and it's only two hours away," Rad says with a grin, grunting when he sets the groceries down on the kitchen counters.
"We'll-we'll wait for you," Callum says with conviction, setting more bags down and rifles through them.
Finally, Asher comes into view, frowning at the island in front of the groceries, lost in thought. A crinkle takes over his forehead, and the color slowly drains from his face. His eyes shift between the boys and finally land on me, where something odd sparks but extinguishes just as quickly.
"You guys can't give up your dreams because of me. I can finish school anywhere," I say with a shrug. "It's basically all online, anyways." At least, that's what I planned to do on our trip. All my professors agreed to send me online material to complete while I was gone.
"But your mom," Rad says with a frown, running a hand across his neck. "You'd leave her?"
The realization smacks me square in the face, and my stomach sinks into the depths of my churning stomach. Could I leave my mother, who is so ill amid a flare-up that she’s barely functioning? Could I leave her while she’s hobbling around on her broken ankle with no income? Shit. Sweat breaks out on my brow as the worry slams into me and knocks the breaths from my lungs.
"I don't know," I say, swallowing the cold, hard truth.
"Don't you dare worry about me, River. My health is on the rise. My medicine is getting squared away, and I can move more. Enjoy this tiny vacation, okay? You're nineteen. You shouldn't have to worry about your mother," she says, cradling my face with a sad smile.
"But, Ma. I'll be away in another state for like a week. I can't just…."
"You can and you will. This is my illness to carry. Besides, the nurse is coming over again to help me get around and help with showers and meds. Even she says I'm on my way to coming out of this flare-up." She cringes when she holds a hand to her side and shakes her head. "It's just a pesky bladder infection. I've got antibiotics to help and all the pain meds I need. I have a neighbor and a nurse on speed dial. Please, be a kid for once," she pleads with me, and my eyes well up, burning with unshed tears.
"Okay," I say as a tear slips down my cheek.
The responsibility I hold for my mother sits heavily on my chest. Her well-being is something that goes through my mind on several occasions. All I can think about when I'm away is, is she okay? Did she fall? Can she walk without feeling dizzy and make it to the bathroom okay? Can she get to the store? So many damn worries rest on my shoulders when I'm running around working two jobs and trying to balance it with some fun with Whispered Words.
