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“How the fuck does this happen, Ode?” Tears burn down my cheeks in a fury, glaring at the three innocent pregnancy tests lining the shitty countertop, all coming up positive.
Positive! How could my uterus betray me like this? I'm on birth control to prevent this kind of thing from happening! Millions of women pray for this tiny miracle every day, and I've been handed one without trying. How the hell is that fair? Especially when I'm not sure if I can handle this right now. A baby? Me? Not without a support system. And seeing as Odette and her family are the only people I have left, my options are limited. God. A hammer pounds in my skull, filling my ears with the sound of my beating heart. Panic swarms through my whole system, threatening to send me spiraling down the damn drain if I don’t get ahold of myself and process what the fuck is going on.
Ode’s eyes turn sympathetic when she pulls me into her arms. “Fuck them,” she murmurs. “You don’t need them. I’ll be your baby daddy. I’ll be a better daddy than them, anyway.” I snort into her shoulder, cursing the fucking idiots who put me in this position. “But to answer your question. You usually get a little P in the V action, and then..bam! Baby batter makes tiny humans,” she says with a sly grin, grunting when I smack her on the arm. "Ouch, bitch. I was just trying to make you laugh. No need for all that violence," she huffs, rubbing her arm with fake outrage.
If it weren’t for Odette and her constant support, I would have curled up in a little ball on my bedroom floor, unmoving for days. Hot tears burn behind my eyes from the anger boiling deep under the surface, mixing with resentment. December 15th came and went without a word from the guys. The day we would have gone to the Battle of the Bands. My California dream sizzles into smoldering ashes right before my eyes. Not only did the guys stop texting and calling me weeks ago, but they also blocked me from every form of social media they had and changed their passwords and usernames so I couldn’t access them like I had before.
So, my nosy ass looked it up, and wouldn't you know, they were as gorgeous as ever rocking out on the big stage at The KC Club. The crowd had roared with delight, throwing their hands in the air and waving them around at the sultry sound. Much like I had before, standing in awe before the Gods on stage. Then reality crashed, and I closed out the video, refusing to see if they won. And you know, I don't give a shit. Not at all. They can win or lose or walk off a cliff for all I care. Shit.
Where was I during their performance, you ask? Wallowing in my fucking grief all by my damn self. Stuck in my lonely apartment with no one at my side—my mom six feet deep, my boyfriends MIA, and my best friend on the fringes. My only reprieve has been coming to both jobs and making up my homework. I had a lot of shit to make up after getting beat up and then processing the fact my mom keeled over and left me with all this shit. But you know what? I’ve tried over and over to get into contact with these ghosting dickbags, and they’ve never responded. I could send an SOS, and they’d wave a hand and let me die.
One day, Odette drove me by Callum and Rad's place with little success. No answer. Dark house. It's like they never even existed. Maybe I made them up, and my boyfriends were figments of my imagination, and now I’m slowly going mad.
“Babe,” Ode says, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re going to have to go find them. Or something. I mean, they’ll have to know, right? You can't just…have their kid and keep it a secret. Jesus.Theirkid, Riv. Who is the father?" Her eyes widen as mine narrow into slits, and she grins. "Sorry, I'm just trying to lighten the dismal as fuck mood."
"Odette, you bitch," I say as a slight smile pulls at my lips. I might as well let a little humor crack through the bullshit of my life to keep me above water.
"I'm just saying! Four baby daddy possibilities!" she quips, shaking her head. "But seriously, you have to let them know."
I blow out a breath. "I know," I mumble, putting a hand on my flat stomach, trying to imagine the watermelon I will have in a few short months.
Images of my future with a baby flash through my mind as I pace in front of Odette. She sighs, leaning against the counter and watching me work everything out.
"You have options, you know. We'd never judge you for your decisions. Just saying, babe," Ode says with a sad grin.
"I know," I sigh, groaning when I put my forehead on the wet counter and groan more. "Fuck. This is bullshit! They fucking left me for weeks now! And they did this to me? Fucking Castle house on the lake…"
"Fucking sounds about right. Isn't that all you did on your little getaway? You were the main course, and they were the…"
"Please don't even finish that sentence, Ode," I mumble, trying to keep the pressure building in my brain at bay.
"Right. We're very pissed off at them," she mumbles with a defeated sigh. "Extremely pissed off at them." Ode's eyes fill with tears, and she sniffles. "I thought they were so good to you. And here they went and…"
"Acted like every other Lakeview guy on the planet. Who would have predicted that River West would get screwed the fuck over by four fuck boys? They succeeded, didn't they?" Tears fall freely from my eyes again, my fingers digging into my palm. "They fucking told me they got close to me for my name, and what did I do? I got fucking knocked up by them. I let them in, Ode. I fucking…" My entire body trembles with rage, hurt, and disappointment. But mainly, my fucking heart shatters to the floor. "I fucking loved them," I whisper through my quivering lips and shake my head when Ode tries to wrap an arm around me.
"I know you did. And I swear the way they looked at you…I thought they loved you, too. I don't understand. How could they walk away without talking to you first?" she asks, running a hand over her forehead.
"Because they didn't want to," I say with resignation. "Maybe that was their plan all along." And I was too blind, once again, too fucking see what was going on in front of me.
And that's the gist of it all. Callum saw something, misunderstood it, and fucking walked away with a trampled heart before hearing what I had to say. It's like that shitty misunderstanding trope everyone loves to hate in movies and books. None of this would have happened if they had just talked it over like adults. The drama would cease to exist, and they'd come back with open arms and tell me they were sorry. But this isn't a book or a movie, this is real life, and somewhere along the way, it all got twisted into this entire situation. And it's entirely Van's fault. I'm going to castrate him beyond belief for kissing me. Then, I’m going to throw his body to the damn pigs and cackle as they eat through his bones and make him disappear entirely. Ah, that would be the dream. I’m no murderer—but I’ll get my revenge if I ever see his face again. Lately, he’s been in the damn wind, only texting me instead of showing his face, mentioning something about being in Europe for some damn internship I don’t care about. I know I’ll see him eventually. He’s like a damn pest, always turning up.
"You need to go demand answers," Odette says, pursing her lips. "You need to knock on their doors, punch their faces, and force them to listen to you!" she harps on, raising her fist in the air. Next, she'll get the pitchforks and fire, and we'll storm their castle.
"Already tried that, remember? They weren't home. Hell, maybe they stayed in California," I say with a defeated shrug. Throwing my head back, I stare at the ceiling, letting more frustrated tears fall.
Odette doesn't say a word. Silence falls between us until I stare at her guilt-ridden face, and she huffs. "They won." Those two words punch me in the fucking gut, and all the air leaves my system.
The groupie part of me is fucking ecstatic they're living their dreams. But the baby momma part of me wants to yank their balls through their throats and dig their graves with my bare hands.
"Of course they did," I huff, throwing my hands in the air. "They fucking won. They're living their best life and shit…here I am. I'm knocked up and fucking fuming…"
"Direct that anger at them, babe. Take my car and go and confront someone. Maybe Kieran's mom? Ask her and see what she says. Oh shit, don't give me that look. I'm just saying," she says, placatingly holding her hands in the air.
"Every single person in that neighborhood hates my guts," I grumble, butterflies making my stomach swoop. "But fuck it. Someone has answers for me."
Ode hands her keys to me and pats my back. I shove all the pregnancy tests into my jeans pocket and quietly walk out of the bathroom and into my office, grabbing my coat.
"I'll hold down the fort here, okay? It's too early for a big crowd. So, we'll be good. Now, go get them bitch!" she shouts with encouragement, shooing my broken-hearted ass away.
