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Alba was stirring the pot, and I watched her from the back until she turned to face me and squeezed her forehead in a scowl when she saw my face.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
I blinked several times, shaking my head.
“I’m fine. I’m okay.” I said to her. And she gave me a small smile before she returned to the carrots she had been cutting.
“So,” Alba continued, “I’ve been watching you and Sebastian for a few days now; I think he’ll be good for you, Mija.”
“What?” I said to her, and she gave me a suggestive smile. “Oh, no. Alba. Sebastian is just my friend. I’m not sure I’m ready to get into anything serious.” I explained to her, and I could see she was not too happy with my words.
“You can’t let a man from your past dictate your future happiness, dear. I know you’re hurt and think you’ll never love another as you did him. But you will be fine; you will love another. But you won’t ever know if you don’t give yourself a chance.”
It occurred to me that Alba had thought I was heartbroken about my ex. Nate had been an asshole, and the only thing I felt after our breakup was the feeling of loneliness.
I never missed him or felt the powerful urge to drink because of him. Or even call him at all. I thought I was in love with him until he broke up with me, and I realized I wasn’t; I had just gotten comfortable.
“You hear me, Mija?” Alba asked.
“I do, Alba. Thanks. But I think I want to take my time for now. You know. I don’t want to rush anything.”
“That’s fine” she nods. “That’s a good plan.”
We are silent for a while as we worked. I stared succinctly at Alba a few times as I thought about what she’d told me about her life when I asked.
She’d lived with the Fitzgeralds for a long time, longer than my own life. And she had no plans to leave soon. I wondered if she was satisfied with her life. She seemed to be though,
“Alba, can I ask you something?” I asked her, and she turned to me; she nodded and smiled, and I continued;
“Has Mr. Fitzgerald always been this cold? I know he’s your boss, but you’ve known him for so long, so you should know best what I can do to make him feel better.”
Alba paused, glancing up at me with a puzzled expression on her face.
“You know, not many nurses have tried to know Mr. Christian as much as you’ve tried. I mean, you got him a dog. That’s good; you’re a good person. But I think with our boss, you need to be patient.”
Alba’s words did nothing to sate my curiosity.
“I’ve known him since he was a child, and he is a good boy. With a big heart. You have to dig deeper.”
Just then, the sound of footsteps and a hard cane on the hard floor interrupts us, and we both keep quiet.
Christian appeared by the doorway a few moments later, and I focused on keeping my eyes on the cucumber in front of me.
My entire body lit up with awareness as I felt his eyes on me, but I studiously ignored him. It was still bizarre from our kiss, and I was doing everything to act as if it had never happened.
No matter how much I wanted to kiss him, I knew it should never have happened. I could blame it on the grief, but I sabotaged my career alone. And now I am offered something of a second chance; I would not dare throw it away because of my feelings.
“Do you need anything, Mr. Fitzgerald?” Alba asked him.
“I wanted the green juice for dinner. I’m not in the mood to eat anything else.” He said, and I could see Alba deflated at that.
“But I was making your favorite.”
“I’m sorry, Alba; maybe you can save it for tomorrow. I don’t think I could keep anything down.”
I felt my chest prickle with worry at his words. I looked up at him, and he is watching me already.
“Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” I asked, unable to remain indifferent to him.
