AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But it was an interesting thing to grow up in a family where you didn’t wonder what you would be when you grew up. There was a legacy that you inherited, and you stepped into that. But then, Cara knew about that. He doubted she owned the bar because she loved it the most. He could see that this hotel thing meant a lot to her but he had to wonder...
He gestured to the room around them.
“Is this actually something that you want, or is this just what Mitch wanted to do?”
“I actually do want it,” she said. “I’ve loved this place since I was a kid. And yeah, some of it is that it makes me feel good to fulfill his dreams. Because he couldn’t. And he was there for me. He was there for me when no one else in my family was. My dad was... I still don’t know where. My mom was where she is now. Drugged out of her mind in a trailer park somewhere making bad decision after bad decision with men. And... I had Grandpa. I don’t think I’m doing it just because I want them to be proud or anything like that. I’m doing it because the things that were important to him became important to me. This town became important.”
“Yeah.”
“I guess I have to ask you the same question. Are you in the rodeo just because it’s what your dad wants you to do?”
“No. To be honest, I don’t think my dad cares what we do. In fact, I think he would’ve been perfectly happy if we had never risked life and limb out on the circuit. He loves it, but he’s realistic about the risks. Especially after that kid died a couple of years ago... He was never really the same after that. Never looked at the rodeo the same.”
And that was a shame. Because the rodeo had been his dad’s escape from his grief. Jace knew that, because he understood it. He moved around, and he moved around a lot. Motion kept you from thinking too deep.
But it felt like he was at a critical point. He didn’t want to just keep moving. But staying felt like an invitation to settle into pain.
Of course the alternative to that was processing it, but he’d spent years avoiding that.
Years using Cara as a surrogate.
But watching her now, watching her actually take control of her life and get what she wanted shamed him a bit.
“I’m sorry. I know it was your dream...”
“It wasn’t,” he said. “The rodeo was easily available to us. And we had to do something. But I think it was more than that. It was easy for us to pivot into it because we knew all about it. It must be different when it’s your dream. When you have to chase it. It was more like that for Callie, because Dad sure as hell didn’t want her out on the horses. Drove him nuts. Still does, to be honest, but he’s accepted that is something he’s not gonna win with her. He’s accepted that is something she’s going to do, and she’s a grown woman, so you can’t stop her. I mean, she married Jake Daniels just to get access to her money.”
He’d never anticipated the money. Didn’t care about it. Didn’t need it.
That shamed him a bit too.
“I never asked, do you all have trust funds like that?”
“Yeah. But we get it when we turn thirty.”
“So you’re getting yours soon.”
He really hadn’t thought much about it. He had whatever he needed. He turned quite a lot of money on the circuit; he got in a fair amount of endorsements. He had it pretty easy, honestly.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t know what you want to do with it?”
“I guess not.”
He didn’t like that. But then, thinking about the future wasn’t his thing. It was that whole... Well, he guessed it was a lot like what she had accused him of. She hadn’t wanted to tell him about her dreams because he had the unfortunate inclination to bring reality down on them. And as for himself... He didn’t really dream.
“I don’t like to think ahead. I live in the moment. I like to work. It’s clarifying. In that sense, I guess I do love to ride in the rodeo. You get a surge of adrenaline not like much else. Not really like anything but sex, to be honest.”
And then she blushed. All the way up her neck to the roots of her hair. Then it surprised him, because it wasn’t like Cara was a prude. She worked in a bar. She heard rough talk all the time. Hell, she wandered around the place looking likeCoyote Uglyhalf the time, which she could do without, and men checked her out all evening. She seemed to get a kick out of it. Because she was in control of that interaction, and could bounce their asses out of the bar if they got unruly.
He hadn’t expected her to blush just because he mentioned sex. But then he looked behind her and saw the bed, and the earlier tension returned.
“Anyway,” he said, clearing his throat. “I didn’t really think about what I would do with it. I didn’t really think about what I would do when I was done with the rodeo. And anyway, I could coast on that for a few more years if I wanted to.”
“You don’t want to, though,” she said, reaching out and taking a piece of cheese. She seemed to recover slightly from the earlier incident.
But he had to wonder why it had been an incident at all.
