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He would’ve said no. That he’d never done that. Not with her. But the way that he had teased her last night, even before she’d said that to him about her virginity... It made him wonder. It made him wonder what he was actually thinking.
He needed to get back on the road, maybe. Maybe that was the issue. He’d been home a long time. And after school, for most of their friendship, they had gotten some decent-sized breaks from one another while he went out on the rodeo. And he usually hooked up when he went out on the rodeo. Quite a bit.
He didn’t like the way that thought made him feel. Like it was only having sex with other women that kept him from being attracted to her.
That it was only some weird dry spell now that made him feel different.
He felt like it cheapened what they had between them, and like it cheapened her a bit, and nothing about Cara was cheap. He gritted his teeth and tried to get a grip.
Yeah. Tonight he would make sure that things got back to normal. And pretty soon that little snippet of conversation would fade into the background. It would just become one of the many conversations they’d had, and it wouldn’t stand out as being anything more than what had gone on before it.
Just a snippet of things they’d said to each other.
It didn’t have to echo in his mind. It didn’t have to echo in his body. It really didn’t.
So he took one more shovelful of manure and relished the ache in his arms.
He was going to work until he was busted. Then he was going to go have a drink with his best friend. And make some plans for the new business venture.
It wasn’t like being married. Because being married wasn’t in the cards for him. Not ever.
But this? This felt better. This felt right. This felt like he was getting close to doing the thing that he needed to do. Because something had to change. He wasn’t going to turn thirty and just stay the same old way. Boone might be comfortable with that, but Jace wasn’t.
And this was the right step forward. He knew it.
So he banished anything that felt wrong and kept on shoveling.
Seven
By the time Jace stumbled into The Thirsty Mule with two of his brothers, he was pretty damned tired. Which was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to be bone-tired by the time he hit his bed tonight. And he definitely didn’t want to think. He saw Cara standing behind the bar, glowing. She was lit up like a firecracker. Laughing and talking to two men sitting in front of her who were... Looking down her top.
And suddenly, Jace couldn’t look away. Not from down her top, though his eyes definitely drifted there. But just from her. Altogether.
Her blond hair was lit up like a halo, and she looked so damned happy. She had on makeup tonight. Dark mascara and glossy pink lipstick. There was a glow about her cheeks, and he had a feeling she dusted some kind of sparkling powder on there. And yeah... If he wasn’t mistaken, she had put a bit of it on her breasts...
“Damn. She is pretty.”
That came from Flint.
Jace scowled. “Shut the fuck up.”
“Down boy,” said Boone.
“Well. If you guys could stop being perverts about my best friend for five minutes, that would really help. You treat her like an object, and I’m sick of it.”
“To be clear, when we tease you about her,” said Boone, “it has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with you. Right now has a bit to do with her. Because damn.”
The problem was, he couldn’t even disagree. But it didn’t feel like objectifying her. Not really. It felt like something else. Something different. It felt like something singular, like something had reached up and grabbed him by the throat and shaken him hard. And he didn’t like it. No, he really didn’t. Worst of all, his brothers were there. Worst of all, there was a bar full of people. If there wasn’t...
He could see it clearly. Going over to the bar and leaning over, hooking his arm around her waist and...
No. What the hell? She was supposed to be like a sister to him. She was...
There was something unraveling here, and he couldn’t quite put a finger on it. And maybe it had to do with all this need to reframe his life. With all these thoughts he had about what he wanted to do with his life and himself. Maybe he was looking for something to hold on to, and there she was.
Hell. She’d always been the thing he’d held on to.
Maybe that was what he was doing now. Just so desperate to find something that he...
