AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I was chiding myself for thinking about getting you alone when I should be remembering the wonderful man Earl was, but I just heard his voice in my head telling me to knock it off.”
Abe smiled beautifully, and his laughter warmed my soul in ways flannel and thermal underwear never could. “I was having similar lusty thoughts, which shouldn’t surprise either of us since we share a brain.” Abe glanced at the shoreline, and the joy faded into a somber expression. He took a deep breath and met my gaze. “We’re here.”
He released the oars and held out his hand for the wooden box. I passed it to him. “Should we say a few words?”
Abe pursed his lips for a moment while he considered my question, then shook his head. “I expressed everything I wanted to say directly to Earl. I will always be grateful I got that chance.”
The sun hadn’t cleared the trees and was only high enough to cast our silhouettes on the water, which I thought was fitting. We’d been each other’s constant shadows in one form or another since we were preteens. We were adversaries during youth and high school sports, reluctant comrades during basic training, and lifelong friends once we reached jump school. An intensity of emotion squeezed my chest and stole my breath.
Abe opened the lid, untwisted the tie around the plastic bag, and lifted it from the box. He paused for a few moments before slowly pouring Earl’s ashes into the water, momentarily blurring our reflections like an artist smudging a charcoal drawing. Neither of us said a word as small ripples carried the ashes toward the bank. Eventually, Abe gripped the oars again and began rowing.
“Mind if we stay out here a little longer?” he asked.
“Not at all. Getting hungry?”
Abe released the oars and held out his hand. I smacked the package of wipes into the center of his palm, and he cleaned his hands with a wry grin. I passed him the box of donuts and a thermos of coffee while I ate a banana and a granola bar with my brew. Abe ate a donut and took a drink before rowing us to another part of the lake, repeating the process until the sun was high in the sky. We mostly sat in silence, and I watched the play of emotions wash over his gorgeous face. Joy, sadness, and gratitude all made an appearance, and I was glad he’d invited me to be a part of his goodbye and felt safe enough to show me his vulnerability. It gave me great hope that things would be different for us than they’d been with his previous partners.
As if reading my mind, Abe took a deep breath and said, “You and Earl were right. I have pushed people away when they’ve gotten too close. I’ve purposely destroyed every decent relationship I’ve been in. And Christ, I treated Jeremy terribly. It’s a testament to his character that he showed up to pay his respects to Earl after the way I ghosted him.”
“Yes, you’ve made some mistakes, especially with Jeremy,” I said. “But you have the chance to make things right with him, and I know you will. You deserve the loyalty and love you witnessed this weekend.”
Abe swallowed hard. “It’s difficult to believe someone could want me when my own mother didn’t.”
I reached across the small gap between us and placed my hand on his knee. Just the small movement tilted the boat precariously, so I carefully straightened back up, though the tender look in Abe’s eyes was worth the risk of falling into the lake. “I will never make excuses for your mom, and part of me will never forgive her for walking away from you, but we can’t know what kind of personal hell she lived through with your father.”
Abe turned his head and looked out over the lake for several moments before meeting my gaze again. “Earl said it was bad. He forgave her a long time ago. Billie Jo left me with Earl and Lucinda, thinking I was in good hands. She underestimated Amstel’s ability to charm the social workers. The jackass can clean up nice and talk really pretty when he wants something, and making Billie Jo’s son pay for her leaving him was what he wanted more than anything.” Abe was his son too, but apparently, his hatred for his ex-wife surpassed any affection he’d had for his only child. “Earl asked his estate attorney to track down Billie Jo.”
“And did he?” I asked.
Abe nodded. “He handed me an envelope with her contact information. I haven’t opened it yet.”
“Will you?”
He nibbled on his bottom lip while he considered my question. “I’m honestly not sure.” We drifted for a little while without speaking. Birds serenaded us with their morning songs, and the sun chased away the early morning chill. “I won’t push you away, Lio. I promise.”
I tore my gaze away from two squirrels chasing each other up a tree to study Abe. The sunlight reflecting off the lake illuminated his blue eyes, which were naked with sincerity. “I know you won’t.”
One corner of Abe’s mouth quirked up. “Because you won’t let me.”
Nodding, I said, “You can take that to the bank.” Abe reached for the oars, but I leaned over and stilled his hands. He rotated his wrists and slid his fingers between mine. It wasn’t fair for him to think he was the only one who needed to work on self-improvement. “I’m a control freak.” Abe’s arched brow saidduh, but his lips didn’t move. “I know that’s not news to you, but you’re putting yourself out there for me, and I wanted to do the same. I’m aware I also have issues to work on.” I cleared my throat and licked my lips nervously. “I’m trying to open myself up more at work and let people get to know me better.”
Abe’s sunny smile filled me with warmth. “As you should because you’re a great person to know.”
No one had ever looked at me with such naked love as Abe did right then, and I knew it was the perfect time to say what he longed to hear. “When.”
Abe’s nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply and tightened his fingers around mine. “There will be no going back after this.”
“Good.”
Abe searched my eyes for several seconds before he released my hands to reach for the oars. He used them to turn the boat around and said, “I’m going to row us to shore, and we’re going to tell Jeremy and Allen it’s time for them to go when we get back to the cabin.”
“Sounds like a damn good plan to me.”
When we rounded the corner of the cabin after stowing the boat and gear, we noticed their vehicles were already gone. A note lay in the center of the kitchen table.
Let’s not wait so long before we get together again. I’ve missed you guys.
Allen
