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Trenton tried to breathe through the pain as he listened to his friend leave a message for Celia to call him. Blake reached down to help him up.
“She’s not answering.” Malcolm dialed again anyway, hanging up when the robotic voice started telling him the number he dialed was unavailable. He glanced at Trenton. “So she told you?”
Trenton didn’t pretend he didn’t understand. “I can’t believe you never said anything. Finding her like that had to be the worst thing you’ve ever experienced.”
Malcolm’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe she told you about that. She just spoke about it for the first time in counseling yesterday.”
Trenton hated that he hadn’t even realized she was going to counseling. He really hadn’t been paying enough attention to her. “I asked about it. My parents brought up that she’d been in the hospital, and the thought made me panic a little.”
Malcolm stared back at him.
“Wait, I’m not following this at all. When was Celia in the hospital?” Blake asked.
“Back before she moved in with my family. It was the reason she moved in.” Malcolm hesitated. His jaw tightened. “I stopped her mother from killing her.”
Hearing her past spoken out loud in such frank words made Trenton realize all over again how hard things had been on her.
“Fuck,” Blake said. “I had no idea.”
“How would you?” Malcolm said. He sighed, looking down at his phone again. “She was doing so well, too.” He studied Trenton. “I thought part of it was staying with you.”
Blake winced. “Just because of today doesn’t mean—”
“Did you really have sex with her?” Malcolm asked. “Despite how you still feel about Emily?”
Trenton couldn’t hide from it. “Yes.”
“How long?”
“Since the supermarket incident with her ex. She defended the way he talked about her, and I just—”
Malcolm held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear this. Go back to the condo in case she goes there.” He stalked into the tavern, trying to call Celia again.
“This will all blow over,” Blake said, though even his expression looked unsure. “Malcolm would have reacted like this no matter when he found out. You know that, right?”
“He loves her,” Trenton said, watching his friend disappear inside.
“Yes, but he knows they’re cousins. He knows it couldn’t happen. And she definitely doesn’t see him that way.” Blake glanced at Trenton. “I wish she’d come over to the bar just a minute earlier. If she’d heard you then, she—”
“It’s better this way,” Trenton interrupted. A numbness spread inside him when he thought of the possible damage he had done. “Malcolm was right to hit me. I had no business taking things this far, not when I knew how it would end.” He focused on Blake. “I love my wife still. I’ll always love her.”
“Yeah, but—”
“I have to go.” Trenton didn’t want to hear any more placating words. He’d messed with the confidence of someone who deserved someone way better than him. Someone more like Malcolm.
“I should go check on Mal, anyway.” Blake slapped Trenton on the back. “I hope she went back to your place.” He jogged back to the tavern.
“Me too,” Trenton murmured. The ride home felt odd without her sitting beside him. She didn’t usually say anything, but her presence, over the course of only two weeks, had filled up a space he hadn’t realized had been empty.
When he entered the condo, he knew she wasn’t there. It was missing that feeling. It was almost as if the pressure of the air changed when Celia was present. He checked her room anyway, finding it empty. The bedspread was pristine, reminding him that she’d woken up in his arms that morning.
He’d only wanted to take care of her. Instead, he’d used her.
The next hour, sitting alone in the living room, was hard, but not the hardest he’d endured. That was sitting beside Emily’s bed in hospice, listening to her beg God for just a little more time.
The click of the door shot him to his feet. He hovered in the hallway, watching Celia’s eyes drop as she slipped off her shoes.
“We should talk,” he said, forcing the stream of words he wanted to say all at once to stay inside.
