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“You didn’t.” Blake smiled as he lay back on the couch again. “Emily did. That girl said every thought in her head.”
Warmth filled Trenton’s chest at the reminder. “I liked that. It made marriage to her very easy.” He’d never had to wonder why she was in a mood, or what she wanted to do, or even when she wanted to have sex. She always just told him.
“She was way too open,” Malcolm said. “Not even my sister told me when her, you know”— he waved his hands in the air—“female time started. Emily was way too into sharing. It terrified me.”
Trenton smiled. “She knew that.” He’d loved when she would sit up in their bed at night, talking with her hands about how she’d made Malcolm uncomfortable. He’d been so happy that his best friend and his wife had their own friendly relationship. Even if it was mostly teasing on her side.
He let their voices pass around him, listening to each reflection, each memory of a life well lived. That had been his life with her. A series of happy moments that he’d relegated to the back of his mind. Celia had been right to lecture him. Talking about the good times with Emily didn’t bring him pain.A contentment filled him instead of any anxiousness about her absence. He let the stories continue to wrap around him as the night passed.
Chapter 37
Celialistenedtooneof the other women talk in group while she gripped her Styrofoam cup. The seat next to her had remained empty the past few weeks, with the other newbie, Jami, not returning.
“I knew I had to make a different choice. It wasn’t for me.” The woman across the way pressed a hand to her swollen stomach. “I had someone else to protect, and that was most important.”
The smile the woman shared was for herself, or perhaps for the baby on the way. It held a gentleness and a radiance all at the same time.
Celia had never let herself imagine having a family. When she was a teenager, she’d felt like the mother in the relationship with her own. She’d had to care for and cherish her mother. That part hadn’t been all bad, had actually let her feel some peace among the chaos, especially when her mother would lay her head against her shoulder and tell her she loved her.
She’d steadily begun to accept that she might not be completely crazy, what with Erin and Katie telling her that over and over. The counselor hadn’t given her an absolute one way or the other, just encouraged her to explore how she felt letting go of the wall she had built around herself. Celia didn’t think she’d really let the wall down. Instead, she’d poked a hole in it to peek out.
It would be reckless of her to bring a child into the world.
“I can’t make excuses for him anymore,” the woman said, her hand moving softly over her pregnant belly. “It’s the right decision. If he can’t be the father our child needs, which I know he can’t, then I have to make this choice.”
Trenton would be a wonderful father. The thought of him smiling as he held a baby in those gentle hands of his sent tingles over her skin. Which was ridiculous. She hadn’t even seen the man since she’d broken into his house, though Malcolm had assured her Trenton was fine.
A jostling of a door had Celia peering over at the back entrance. It was the woman from before, Jami. She was already turning from the entrance, heading back into the garden.
The pregnant woman had wrapped up her story, and the counselor was thanking her for sharing.
“Excuse me,” Celia murmured, rising to hurry toward the exit.
Jami hadn’t gone far. She sat on the steps with her head bowed, her long, dark hair falling forward.
Celia slowed, bending to sit on the step beside her. She let the silence remain, liking the feel of the sun on her skin. Since it was still morning, the heat of the day wasn’t pressing on them.
“What are you doing out here?” Jami asked, her voice muffled against her knees.
Celia had promised herself she’d try again, should the woman return. She doubted saying that would comfort her. It made Celia sound a bit like the stalker Daniel had accused her of being. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you back here.”
“I shouldn’t have come,” Jami said, lifting her head. Her hands trembled before pressing hard against her skin.
It had taken Celia quite a while to become comfortable in group sessions. So often she had left to never return. “I understand that feeling.”
“You—” Jami cut herself off, leaning back against the steps to squint into the sky above. “No, I guess you probably do. Even though you’re so lucky, it doesn’t take away from the past.”
“Lucky?” Celia asked. She’d never once applied that term to herself.
“You’re past the point of a decision; didn’t even really have to make one at all.” Jami cringed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It sounded awful.”
The way the woman looked at her, Celia wondered if maybe she should be feeling angry. Instead, Malcolm’s caring expression rose in her thoughts. “No, I agree with you. I’m so lucky and so thankful to have had Malcolm all these years.”
“You mentioned he was your cousin, right?” Jami asked, and Celia nodded. “He sounds amazing.” Her head lowered again, resting on her knees. “I wish I had a Malcolm.”
Celia held out her hand. “Can I have your phone?”
Jami peeked up at her, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”
