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With a kid on the way and a family to support, my dad gave me a job at this company. Even after the loss of the baby and Emme’s and my divorce, I continued working here. I needed time to figure out what to do next. But then, my father got his cancer diagnosis, so he started training me to take over the business in his absence. He trusted me with his legacy. Even though he could barely walk or speak, he was so proud the day he signed over his company to me.
I should have been happier. More grateful. This business allowed my parents to own their home and support me and my five younger siblings growing up. It was good, honest work. It was certainly profitable.
And it was mine.
“Sorry, Elias,” I told him. “It’s been a day.”
“You’ve been having a lot ofdaysrecently.”
He wasn’t wrong. I was snapping at people more and I was quick to lose my temper. I wasn’t sure what had gotten into me, but I knew I needed to figure out how to shut it down before I snapped at a client or something. It was bad enough I was pissing off my brother, especially since he was doing me a favor taking on some part-time work here.
“You could probably use a night out,” he said. “Burn off some steam.”
“Maybe. But I don’t think I have the time.”
“I think that’s part of the problem, Luke. You’re working yourself to the bone. And when you’re not working…”
I knew what he was trying to say.You’re at home with Mom, and she’s driving you crazy.That was another source of guilt and tension in my life. My mother.
When my father had gotten sick, Ma was a rock. She kept everything together for the sake of us kids and didn’t let my father see her break down. Ever. But after he passed away, she changed completely. She went fromin controltocontrolling. I understood she was grieving. She’d just lost her husband of nearly twenty-five years, and she didn’t want to let any of the rest of us go. It was understandable, but unbearable.
All of my siblings pushed back at some point. Except me. I stayed in the house to take care of her.
“When I’m not working, I’m taking care of Mom,” I stated flatly. I wasn’t saying it to make him feel guilty. I said it to remind myself why I sacrificed my career and my social life for so long. “I’m doing what I promised I would do. Dad wanted me to take care of Mom. Of this family.”
“He never said not to have a life in the process,” Elias shot back.
I swallowed hard and tried to keep my retort to myself. I was the oldest of the six Kane children. Which meant I had the most responsibility and none of the others understood. I was the one who was called into my father’s hospital room a mere few hours before he lost his hard-fought battle with cancer. I was the one who he asked to take care of mom and my siblings in his absence. I was the one who he begged to keep his legacy alive after he was gone. I looked into his eyes and made him a promise. And I wasn’t going to break it.
I didn’t say anything. I just kind of grunted, anxious for this conversation to be over.
“I’ll finish these Monday,” he announced, grabbing his jacket from the rack by the door. “We’re going to be at Rook’s if you change your mind.”
When I arrived backat home, my mother was waiting for me.
“Did you get milk?” she asked.
“Fuck, I forgot.”
She sighed but kept any other comments to herself.
“I need you to drive me to church tonight,” she said.
“Fine.”
“In about an hour.”
I nodded. I knew all this already. There was some kind of potluck at St. Mary’s and she’d volunteered to make Mississippi mud cake. I’d been hearing about that fucking potluck and that fucking cake all week.
“I’ll get milk on the way home,” she informed me.
“I can get it, Ma. I’ll do it after I drop you off.”
“You might forget again. Just let me—”
“I won’t forget again,” I snapped. “This is the first fucking thing I’ve forgotten all week, so just let me get the milk and let’s move in.”
I hadn’t meant to bark at her like that. She looked at me, a little stunned, and blinked a few times.
