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“So what brings you around today?” he asked.
“Out for a run.”
“Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“You haven’t seen me in nearly a decade.”
“You know what I mean.” He laughed. “You started coming around. Then you stopped. I thought you and Luke were hanging out again.”
“Yeah. That went… yeah.”
Carter ignores my discomfort. “Well, we’re going to the bar tonight for trivia. You should come.”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged, assuming he didn’t want much of an answer.
“Tell me,” he insisted. “I have nowhere I have to be.”
“It’s just… I don’t think I’m going to be around here much longer. Blue Creek doesn’t feel like home anymore.”
“Of course it doesn’t. You’ve been gone for ten years and back for, what, a month?”
“I know, but…”
“You have to give it time, Cindy,” he said.
I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know that it’s ever going to be different. I know it hasn’t been that long since I got here, but I’m not sure it’s going to get better.”
“Cindy.”
“Look, even when I lived here, it’s not like I was ever super popular,” I told him. “I didn’t really have close girlfriends. Even my parents split from here as soon as Steph was in college. The only time I ever felt like I fit in here was…”
When I was with Luke.
“It’s not important,” I continued. “I’m thinking about what I want to do next, and I think I’m going to look for work somewhere else. Maybe I didn’t need this homecoming. Maybe I need a fresh start in a new city or something.”
“Cindy, I know you and I don’t know each other that well. But I know what it’s like to be at a crossroads in life,” he said. “And maybe you’re right. Maybe all you need is a change of scenery and everything will fall into place. But I get the feeling that you came back to Blue Creek for something. And until you figure it out, this place will always have some kind of hold over you.”
“Yeah. That’s what I was afraid of.”
That night I sent out a few more job applications, selecting them more on the basis of location rather than what the responsibilities were. Nothing felt like a good fit, but filling them out made me feel less antsy.
It was pouring rain by the time I hitsendon my last application email and decided to go to bed. And bygo to bed, I meant lie there watching videos on my phone until my eyes ached. Stephanie got home from trivia night at the bar around two a.m., and Maya was with her.
I heard the door to Steph’s bedroom close. Then giggling. Then sighing.
Then moaning.
I turned up the volume on my video, trying not to be forced to listen to my sister and her girlfriend, err… fiancée, have sex.
That was when I felt something wet hit my forehead, but I quickly wiped it away. The moaning and groaning got louder. More water hit my forehead and I looked up at the ceiling to see that there was a hole in the plaster and, in this rain, it was going to be a problem all night. Great.
I gathered my one dry pillow and the comforter and set up to sleep on the sofa. Unfortunately, in the living room, Steph and Maya’s sex noises were even louder.
“Fuck this,” I muttered. I threw on my shoes and jacket, grabbed my wallet, and called a rideshare. I gave the driver the address of the Blue Creek Motel. Carter was wrong. I had no unfinished business in Blue Creek. It was time to start planning my way out of here.
