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“Cindy’s not gross. And she’s definitely not in love with me.”
“Please. It’s fucking pathetic. But I put up with her lurking around all this time because I thought she was harmless, but fuck, you’re into her too.”
“No, I’m not,” I protested.
“Yes, you are. You love her.”
“Of course I love her. But I’m notin lovewith her.”
“Yes, you are,” she said. “You talk about her all the time. Cindy said this and Cindy said that. You always take her phone calls, no matter where we are. You laugh way harder at her jokes. And, really, you smile so hard when she walks into the room.”
I shoved my hands deep into my pockets, uncomfortable. This wasn’t the first time someone had thought Cindy and I were boyfriend and girlfriend. But it was the first time it actually made me question why we weren’t.
“Get out of here, Luke,” Emmeline said flatly. “I literally can’t look at you anymore.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry, Emme.”
She muttered something likeno, you’re notand went back inside.
Back at home,I managed to sneak up to my room without running into my parents or any of my five younger siblings. I threw myself onto the bed and saw that I had a message from Cindy.
Cindy: You okay?
Luke: I think so. I feel like shit.
Luke: It doesn’t feel good to hurt someone.
Cindy: Probably doesn’t. I’m sorry.
Luke: Thanks.
My fingers hovered over the phone, but I couldn’t figure out what to say. Was Emmeline right? Did Cindy have feelings for me? Did I have feelings for her?
Cindy: Do you want to talk about it?
Luke: Not really.
Luke: I just have a lot to think about.
Cindy: I get it.
Cindy: I’m here if you need me.
I smiled. I knew that. Cindy was always there when I needed her. Like a best friend should be. But was Cindyjustmy best friend?
That night I had dreams about Cindy and her lush brown hair and her pretty pink mouth. In that sweet red dress. And out of it.
So maybe not.
A couple guyson the football team decided to throw a bonfire party in an abandoned parking lot close to the river. There were all kinds of end-of-summer shit in Blue Creek and, normally, it wasn’t my thing. But this was the last one Cindy and I would be able to go to together.
I spotted my brothers, Elias and Carter, and Elias’s best friend, Kieran, drinking beers by Kieran’s car and made my way over there. Elias quickly tried to hide his drink behind his back, like I was going to tattle on him to Mom or something. Carter, on the other hand, was a hell-raiser and made a show of slamming his beer in front of me and reaching for another one. Elias and Carter were twins, but they were night and day. Kieran just saluted me and offered me a drink from the cooler at their feet.
“I got beer and hard seltzer,” he said.
“Man, what the fuck are you doing drinking hard seltzer?” Carter asked with a laugh.
“There are going to be girls here,” he replied with a shrug. “And we all know I’m way more charming after I’ve had a few.”
