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Luke: Maybe we shouldn’t do this.
The message felt like a punch to the gut, and I stared at it for almost a minute before looking back at Luke.
Every suspicion I’d had about tonight was right on. I shook my head, kicking myself for even trying to wiggle into a tight dress and high heels for Luke.
Luke struggled to explain himself, but I’d had enough.
“You know what, Luke?” I started. “I’m tired.”
“What?”
“I’m tired of this back and forth. What are we to each other? Do you want me in your life or not? Because I’m really tired of guessing.”
“I’m sorry, Cindy.”
“Don’t apologize,” I said, getting up. “I’m sorry. You’re right. This was a mistake.”
“Cindy—”
Luke stood and grabbed my arm, but I shrugged him off, trying to keep my expression neutral. I was such an idiot.
“Cindy, I should explain—”
“There’s nothing to explain,” I started.
A few people around us turned to witness the argument, but I didn’t care. Luke Kane had jerked me around for the last time.
“I’m really disappointed, Luke. You were finally done martyring yourself for your family. You were taking control of your career. You got the okay to move out on your own and you seemed like… I don’t know. You seemed happy for the first time since we were eighteen and you decided on your future,” I continued. “And stupid me. I thought that this was finally the moment where you and I got our chance.”
Luke opened his mouth to speak but reconsidered. Just as well. I wasn’t done.
“But I’ve realized something. There’s always going to be something that’s holding you back and keeping you stuck in the past,” I said. “And I’m fucking sick and tired of trying to save you from it.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I just left.
I was proud of myself as I called a rideshare and watched Luke deal with the restaurant through the window. And I was extra proud of myself for not losing my shit until I got home and locked myself in my room.
“One night,” I muttered to myself, through the tears. “You get one night to cry about Luke.” I grabbed some tissues and dabbed my eyes. “And in the morning, you’ve got some decisions to make.”
Twenty-Two
Cindy
I got a push notification on my phone, reminding me about the interview at Farrelly Grove. I silenced it. I should have probably sent an email or something, canceling it. I couldn’t go.
I’d made my decision. In a month, Steph and Maya were getting married. And right after that, I was going to leave Blue Creek.
And not even because of Luke. Because of me. Because I was done with it.
I didn’t tell anyone about my plan, save for Andy. As my landlord, he deserved a heads-up. But as soon as the wedding was over, I was going to leave town again. I had a cousin in California who would let me stay with her, and a few buddies from the Army offered their couches. I hadn’t decided where I’d go, but I had options.
That day,I found myself at Beloved,a bridal boutique on the far end of Harbor Bluffs, watching my sister try on wedding gowns. Steph didn’t have many close girlfriends, and she didn’t really want Elias’s and Carter’s opinions on fashion. And, in a surprisingly traditional move, she didn’t want Maya there either while she picked out her dress. So it was just the two of us.
And the very pushy saleswoman, of course. I think her name was Judith. She’d told me, but that was several drinks ago.
“Top off your champagne?” Maybe-Judith asked.
Maybe she thought I’d like my sister’s style more if I was a little loopy. As it stood, my normally fashionable sister couldn’t find a dress that was big enough, poofy enough, or princess enough. And I hadn’t been able to honestly tell my sister that I liked any of them.
