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Emmeline and Baby. I can’t punish myself for not being in love with Em. Nor for not being ready to be a father at eighteen. What happened was out of my hands. I’m happy Em is happy. She deserves that.
Blue Creek. It’s my home, like it or not. But from now on, if I live here, it’s because I choose to. Not because I have to.
I flexed my fingers as my hand started to cramp up. I didn’t think I’d handwritten that much in a long time.
“You done?” Cindy asked.
“I think so.”
She cozied in next to me but didn’t look at what I’d written. I showed her anyway. I didn’t want secrets between us.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to,” I told her. “I want you to know.”
Cindy leaned in and read everything I’d scribbled down. Her eyes were a little red around the edges as she dug out the matches. We walked down to the water and knelt by the edge, the whole experience feeling like an impromptu ceremony of some sort.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
I nodded and watched as she lit the match.
But I blew it out.
“What are you—”
“I just wanted to add something real quick,” I explained, reaching for the pen again. I added one more thing to the card.
Cindy.
“It’s not what you think,” I assured her.
Not kissing Cindy Lawless in the back of my truck the night of the bonfire and missing out on all this time with her.
Cindy smiled. “I kind of regret that too.”
I kept writing.
Also, thinking that Cindy was the answer to all my problems. She may be a badass soldier, but that doesn’t mean she should have to save my sorry ass from myself.
“Light this fucker,” I told her.
Cindy lit another match and we watched the paper smolder and burn before it disappeared into dust. I kept my eyes on the burning paper the entire time and stared at the little spot of black ash in the dirt long after it was gone.
And Cindy stayed right there with me.
I didn’t know how long we stood there, saying our goodbyes to the ten years we spent apart, wishing things were different. But as the sun started rising over the creek, turning the sky pretty shades of pink and orange, I felt like something amazing was about to begin.
Twenty-Five
Luke
Cindy and I spent most of the night out by the water, but as the sun came up, I still wasn’t ready to let her go. I had something to show her. Something I was really proud of.
We pulled up in front of a newly renovated apartment complex about a mile from the Blue Creek fire station and I took Cindy up to my new place on the third floor. I opened the front door for her and showed her inside.
“Oh my God, Luke,” she said, amazed. “When did all this happen?”
“Just in the last couple of days. I’ve been running with the guys looking to join Blue Creek FD and they were talking about some open units here,” I explained. “I probably could have shopped around a little more, but I like this place. And, you know, life’s too short.”
