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“Yes,” I said so quickly I almost didn't realize I’d done it. “I am.”
“Cindy.”
I shook my head, stopping her protests. The idea was brilliant.
“Steph, the person who gives you away should be someone who’s there for you, right?” I justified. “Someone who loves you and cares about what’s best for you. Someone who wants to see you happy. Right?”
“Right.”
“Then why should it be Dad? It should be me.”
Stephanie looked at me for a second, unsure. But then she smiled wider than she had all morning.
“I’d be honored if you’d give me away, Cindy,” she said.
We looked over at Jessa, who was ready to usher us out of the bridal suite and into the ceremony space. She caught my eye and winked at me. I smiled, though I was a little confused at the gesture.
“Come on,” I said to Stephanie as I took her arm. “Let’s get you married.”
Twenty-Seven
Luke
I always thought all weddings were kind of the same. Church. Priest. White dress. Rented tuxedo. Push cake in each other’s faces. The only difference was the couple at the altar. Walk in single, recite the script, come out married.
That was what went through my head at my own wedding, anyway.
But this wedding was different.
There were about fifty people attending this wedding and I took a seat near my brothers, but not right up front, as Steph and Maya and I weren’t exactly close. But the mood was decidedly less somber and serious than mine and Emmeline’s big day.
Because these two actually want to get married. They really love each other.
I didn’t think about my wedding that much. It wasn’t a good memory. I wore the suit I’d taken Emmeline to prom in, and I stood at the altar next to Elias, my best man, and watched this endless procession of bridesmaids and groomsmen, most of whom were Emme’s friends or cousins that I didn’t know. I remembered wishing that it was all just a bad dream I’d wake up from.
I went through the motions and repeated everything the priest wanted me to. I felt like I was underwater the entire time. We said, “Ido” and I kissed Emmeline in front of a room full of cheering people. I felt like a part of me was suffocating. She smiled happily and I felt sick with guilt. On the way out, people kept shaking my hand and congratulating me, but I didn’t know what to say to them.
I tried to shake off the painful memories and return to the moment. I reached into my pocket and wrapped my hands around the brand-new key I’d had made for Cindy. I was going to give it to her as soon as I found the perfect moment, but so far today, I hadn’t been able to get her alone.
But as memories of my wedding to Emmeline played on a loop in my mind, I remembered staring down that aisle at my soon-to-be-bride, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I wondered if I would ever be ready for that kind of step.
I let go of the key.
The processional started and I watched as one of Maya’s nieces scattered rose petals as she walked past all the guests. Then Maya walked down the aisle in a white suit, escorted by both of her parents, a huge smile on her face. Ms. Lawless and her boyfriend followed them.
Then the music changed. We all stood to watch Stephanie make her entrance.
And when she did, I swore my mind went blank.
Stephanie looked beautiful in her big white gown, of course, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Cindy. She wore a cream-colored dress that fit her like a glove and her hair was up off her shoulders, pinned in a low knot.
I’d seen Cindy dressed up before, but not like this. She looked like a vision. Like an angel walking toward me. Her eyes met mine and nothing else in the world mattered. She smiled and something inside me healed. Maybe this was what Maya was feeling watching Stephanie walk toward her. Maybe this is what people are supposed to feel when they got married.
Like the missing piece of my heart had been found. I gripped the key again.
Twenty-Eight
Cindy
