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“Would you mate with me then? Knowing we’re not true mates would you still do it?” she held her breath, ignoring the wild thumping of her heart as she waited for his answer.
“My wolf likes yours to Kelly, and I think you’re sweet. I wouldn’t be opposed to mating with you.”
“What if you find her one day after you’d mated me? What then?” The pain that filled her voice had little to do with the thought that Clay would find his true mate and would leave her, and more to do with the thought of being rejected again.
She jumped when he cupped her chin bring his face within an inch of hers. They were so close she could feel the heat of his breath. He leaned in, and warm lips met hers. She hadn’t kissed many people. Having realized Ryan was her mate at such a young age kissing boys had been an embarrassing and often painful experience. Clay’s touch didn’t cause her pain but there was no searing heat, or blistering desire either. Just a warm content need to snuggle into him.
“I think if we were to mate we would be happy, though it would be a mating that lacked passion.”
His sad expression brought tears to her eyes. She forced herself not to blink afraid that if she did they would fall.
“I’m sorry I wish I could make her accept reality. Our mate doesn’t want us, and if we can’t learn to accept another we’ll likely die of loneliness,” she confessed, her voice barely carrying.
She looked away from the shock she saw on his face. Feeling the shame of her secret sweep through her.
“You have a mate and you know who your mate is?” She just swallowed thickly and gave the briefest nod at his question. “So why are you here? If you know who he is why not mate with him?” There was an undercurrent of hurt in his tone that she tried to ignore.
“I told you he doesn’t want me.” The pain of admitting that made her voice sharpen, then quiver.
“Ryan isn’t cruel. Go to your alpha make him -” his voice trailed off as Kelly vehemently shook her head. “Shit. It is your alpha.”
CHAPTER TEN
Kelly couldn’t stand to watch the horror on his face turn to pity. She pushed up from the log and continued walking along the worn path that led back to the house she was staying in. He caught up to her easily, his hand on her elbow spun her around.
“Peace is still fragile between our packs. Your being here could start the war again. Did you not think of that before you sought asylum?” His words held genuine concern and frustration but no real anger. Kelly remembered then that he was the beta to his pack and his loyalty would be to the Yellow Claws and ensuring that she didn’t bring danger to them.
“It won’t start a war,” she said, tugging her arm from his grasp.
“It will if you successfully mate with one of our pack.” There was more anger in his statement now, and it made Kelly feel guilty for considering settling for a relationship with him. She hadn’t meant to lead him on, and she didn’t want him to feel like a second choice. She just couldn’t stand being so isolated and alone anymore.
Hot tears burned in her eyes before sliding down her cheeks “Don’t you get it? He doesn’t want me. He knows why I’m here he knows I came looking for a mate and he allowed it anyway.” She curled in on herself, feeling dejected. Ryan didn’t want her and now she’d hurt Clay. It made her feel rotten.
“Then he’s a goddamned fool.” His words came out harshly and he folded her into his arms hugging her to him. She cuddled into him accepting the comfort. He wasn’t her mate, he never would be, but his affection was like balm on her wounds and for now, that was enough.
***
SHE’D BEEN GONE three weeks and his wolf was going insane at her absence. He paced like a caged animal. He was grouchy and snarled at anyone who came too close. Everyone had taken to giving him a wide berth.
The only reason that he hadn’t fully lost control was the fact that he was keeping tabs on her, and she hadn’t mated with anyone in the Yellow Claw pack.
He read Julian’s email again and scowled. She may not have mated, but she was paying a lot of attention to Julian’s beta. The other alpha gushed about how delightful she was, and how much his wolves enjoyed having her there; he noted how she’d make a wonderful addition to their ranks if she chose to mate Clay and remain with the Yellow Claw pack. He remarked that while she wasn’t Clay’s true mate the two did seem fond of each other. The closing line of the email had his lip curling and his wolf snarling.
“Isn’t Clay related to you?” Byron inquired not realizing the stormy emotions that his question stirred in Ryan. It was true the man was his second cousin, the idea that she’d mate with one of his relatives shouldn’t bother him, but it did. It made him want to howl with rage.
“If you didn’t want her to go that badly why did you overturn the ruling handed down by the council? I had to fight tooth and nail to be sure at least some of the others voted no with me.”
His brother’s voice inside his head startled Ryan; he hadn't realized he’d let his emotions run so high that they were leaking down the bond he shared with his twin.
“It hurt too much to see her unhappy.”Ryan expected his brother to harass him about his response but all he felt from him was a wave of sympathy.
“She’ll be home soon, brother.”
Ryan forced thoughts of her away and turned back to the task he was working on, he sighed, not sure if he could wait much longer for her to come home.
***
KELLY KNEW SHE would have to go back to her pack. Her wolf was getting restless and her symptoms were worsening at a rate that scared her. She couldn’t shift here with the Yellow Claw pack. Her wolf wouldn’t comply, and she didn’t have the strength left to force her out.
