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“It’s not! Kelly, you shouldn’t be bruising like this. You shouldn’t be bruising at all.” His tone was softer this time, and she cringed, wildly searching for any excuse to end his line of questioning.
“It’s not your business.” She tried to ignore his hard stare that said she was his business. She couldn’t even dispute his claim as alpha of the pack she was his responsibility.
“Bullshit! It is my business I’m your alpha. This is my pack. Who fought with you? Was it Dawnecia?” he demanded, sniffing the air around her as if in an attempt to pick up her attacker’s scent. He appeared confused when the only scent in the air belonged to Kelly.
“I’m fine.” She pulled on her pants securing the button, still trying to avoid Ryan’s gaze. “I need to go before my parents worry more.”
Her body sagged with relief when he nodded. She picked up her coat and scrambled away from him as fast as her legs could carry her.
She was stiff and sore, her body aching from having slept outdoors in the cold. She shouldn’t be feeling the cold the way that she was, and it seemed to be getting worse each day. She should have been able to keep her wolf form while sleeping if she wished but lately, it took too much effort to shift and to maintain. The lack of control was something she’d never experienced before and it frightened her more than any of the other symptoms she’d experienced.
Kelly couldn’t tell anyone. It wasn’t normal for a wolf to go through anything like this. That she was aware of, and if anyone knew she’d be sent to the doctor. Poked and prodded until she went insane, her parents would panic and she didn’t want to worry them. Worse still, she’d be seen as a liability within the pack. Her status would be viewed even lower than it had already slipped, and she refused to show any more weakness.
Once home she collapsed on the couch, unable to move any further. She reached out to her mother using their mental link“I’m at home mom. I just went for a long run and lost track of time. Going to sleep now, call you later.”She knew that her mom would question a two-day run but it was the best that she could come up with on the fly.
The message was short and choppy but she didn’t have the energy to waste energy on a longer conversation when sleep was already sucking her under its spell.
She pulled the hand-knit blanket her grandmother made for her years ago from the back of the couch letting the weight of it land on her as her eyes drifted closed.
CHAPTER SIX
Kelly woke a few hours later, her whole body stiffening with the memory of how Ryan had treated her. She wondered what kind of trouble she’d be in for nearly stabbing a member of a visiting pack.
She groaned. If his anger was any indication, there was no way she’d get off without some sort of punishment. It would make her request for information on the other packs even harder now. Ryan might say no just to spite her. She let the thought go as soon as it entered her mind. Ryan was determined to find the cause of their issues, he wouldn’t jeopardize that no matter how upset he was with her.
She hadn’t been able to control her reaction to seeing the other woman touch him though. It was a sure sign that her heat cycle was coming. It was likely to be worse because there was competition for her mate. As if the searing pain as her body drove her to mate wasn’t bad enough.
***
Kelly ground her teeth together until her jaw ached. Jonas the pack healer he had trained under their previous doctor and now handled most of the pack’s injuries and medical concerns. He hadn’t told her anything she hadn’t figured out on her own when she saw him.
She had held out as long as she could, but eventually, the heat won. The urge to mate rode her hard as lust rushed through her system hitting fast. Her breasts were heavy and swollen, her nipples peaked and tender. Her vagina was slick preparing her for a mate that didn’t want her. She wept as it felt like someone was holding a blow torch to her organs.
“You need to find a mate, Kelly. We’ve talked about this.”
Yeah, they’d talked about it, but what Jonas didn’t know was that the likelihood that she’d find a mate within the pack was about as plausible as humans accepting their kind if the truth about them ever became common knowledge. It wasn’t going to happen.
“If you can’t find a mate within the pack you need to speak to Ryan about reaching out to the other packs to see if there might be someone in one of them who you’re interested in. I know you think it’s an antiquated tradition but it isn’t only done for the alpha. Lots of lycans choose to mate without waiting for their blood mate.”
Kelly wanted to scream at the archaic notion that she’d be shipped off to some stranger for breeding. She cursed their physiology but it’s exactly what happened. Sure, it had been modernized she had the ultimate choice, she wouldn’t be forced to breed with anyone but the fact was she was ready for a mate.
“I can’t talk to him about that, Jonas.” Heat burned in her cheeks as she imagined how that conversation would go. She imagined he’d be so pleased to be rid of her that he’d shove her out of the door as fast as he could. The very thought of it made her want to die from shame.
“You’re going to have to talk to him soon. I’m convinced that the symptoms you’re experiencing are a result of these prolonged heat cycles and exposure to the medication we’ve used to keep them at bay. You’ve been on them longer than anyone in our pack. Longer than anyone on record. We don’t know if it’s safe.”
“You can’t tell him that! You can’t tell anyone that!” Her teeth did snap together now with such force that she was afraid she’d cracked them.
Jonas watched her, sympathy evident in his gaze. “I won’t tell him for now, but I feel the need to speak to the other pack physicians. We need to know if other unmated women are experiencing the same symptoms that you are exhibiting.”
Kelly wished the floor of his office would open up and swallow her. He wouldn’t find anything among the other packs. She was sure of it, because she was certain that no other lycan had been denied her mate.
She hid the worst of the bruising from Jonas, and what he did see he agreed to keep quiet about, at least for now. It was after all her medical history, but she knew that if she let things persist he would eventually say something. He had a duty to the pack and loyalty to Ryan would drive him to reveal her secrets.
His instincts would demand that he do what was best for her and the pack, whether it would be considered a violation of privacy by human standards or not. They were shifters and they lived by a different code. It truly was survival of the fittest. Jonas wouldn’t take the risk if there was a chance she was a danger to the pack.
She sighed, knowing that her time was running out. She would have to ask Ryan to send her to another pack to see if she was compatible with one of their members. How was she supposed to look him in the eye and ask him – her mate, to send her to someone else?
There was no doubt in her mind he was her mate. She’d known it from that first heat but he’d pushed her away, ruthlessly rejecting the tender wisps of a bond that had tried to form once her wolf had realized their mate was close.
