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He was quiet for so long that Jade worried that he wouldn’t answer. She started to wonder if she’d done irreparable damage by cutting their link.
“I told you before the bond can be dangerous.” Clay sighed making Jade wonder if he didn’t want to tell her. She reached for him mentally, but of course, with the link missing he wasn’t accessible to her and she realized for the first time how quickly she’d grown accustomed to the extra dimension of connection that the bond created it was literally like having an extra sense and now that it was missing she felt a bit lost without it.
“Bonded mates need to be in contact with each other frequently. It’s extremely uncomfortable when we aren’t, especially once the bond has formed.” She watched his knuckles turn white as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. To be without the connection so abruptly is like going through withdrawal. We haven’t been bonded long and with our connection so new it obviously wasn’t fatal but it’s -” he paused as if searching for the right word. “Unsettling.”
Jade felt close to tears by the time he’d finished explaining. She hadn’t understood the consequences or known how bad it would get. She’d only been considering their successful escape.
“Can the bond be reinstated? Can it be created again?”
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly and Jade felt a tear slide down her cheek.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose. Well no that’s not right I did do it deliberately but I didn’t stop to think about the consequence. I didn’t think beyond wanting to get out of Vensford and away from the coven. I never wanted either of us to suffer and I certainly didn’t mean to put our bond in jeopardy.” Her stomach roiled and a sound similar to a whimper escaped from her throat.
Clay shifted in his seat and took one hand off the steering wheel. With his free hand, he took hold of hers and some of the pain she’d been feeling faded.
“I know you didn’t.” He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Try not to worry we will figure everything out. All that matters right now is that you’re safe.”
FOCUSING ON DRIVING was becoming more difficult with each passing mile. His wolf was confused and pining for their mate. The animal side of him didn’t understand her actions and he demanded that they reassert their claim on their mate.
He wanted to stop the truck and fuck her silly. The urge was like a livewire creating sparks of energy under his skin.
His wolf agreed but wanted to bite her deep so that her blood coated his tongue. Not to hurt her but deep enough so that she wouldn’t be able to escape them again.
His wolf viewed her actions as rejection and it made his instincts to force her submission that much harder to fight. The man knew she was only acting in a way that she thought was logical. The wolf operated on instinct alone. She was theirs.
Skin contact seemed to help soothe the worst of his feelings but with the full moon close the wolf was harder to control when he didn’t want to fall in line, but there was no time to stop the truck and give into what both he and the wolf wanted.
She’s not safe. We need to make sure she’s safe first.He tried to reason with his animal half and the thought of Jade in danger did help to cool his anger and driving need to mate but he couldn’t hold back the growl that escaped.
It made Jade tense in the passenger seat and he could smell the scent of her fear. It was the last thing that he wanted and made him feel sick to his stomach.
Happy now asshole? Our mate fears us.
Clay knew fear as well but it was fear of the unknown. He wouldn’t tell Jade but he was worried that her severing the bond might be permanent and if there wasn’t a way to fix it he was afraid that he might have lost her forever.Could they be mates without a bond? Or would it eventually eat away at them and destroy their relationship?Clay forced the negative thoughts away determined to focus on their immediate problems instead of borrowing problems from tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
They stopped in Coldridge territory first not only because it was on the way but also because Clay needed to report back to his cousin.
The look of defeat on his face made Jade feel guilty since she felt it was at least partially her fault that they hadn’t made more progress on what was causing the fertility issues for the lycans. Clay didn’t seem afraid or worried that Ryan would be angry but she could tell he was upset because he felt that he’d disappointed Ryan.
After the mess, she’d made by severing their link she didn’t want to risk hurting him again. Not that he would admit that he was suffering, and without being able to feel his emotions she was at a disadvantage. She reached for him needing comfort. The still, empty void that met her made her want to scream or weep; she would have given in to the urge too if she was certain that she’d be able to stop screaming once she’d started. Instead, she clenched her teeth to stifle the urge and tried to inconspicuously wipe away the tear that slid down her cheek.
“We will fix it,” he whispered before squeezing the hand he was holding.
When they pulled up to the large house that Clay had identified as his cousin’s home she couldn’t help but wonder what this pack was like in comparison to Martin’s since there was nothing like this at home. When Clay chuckled she realized that her mouth had fallen open and was practically dragging on the ground.
“Is your cousin rich? My goodness, I wasn’t expecting anything so -” she paused looking for the right word then realized she was being rude. “Sorry I shouldn’t have asked something like that. It just caught me off guard.”
“No it’s fine it’s more opulent than what you might normally see. He moved recently after mating Kelly. I think they plan to start trying for a family soon since it can take a while.” He paused then his expression serious. “If it takes at all, and no he isn’t rich but lycans look after each other and the cold ridge pack is the largest in North America.”
The pride he felt was obvious from his tone even though he didn’t belong to this pack.
“What is your pack like?” Jade asked him as he helped her out of the truck, curious to know more about him and what his life was like. She wanted an idea of where they would be living and what their life would be like together, that was if the coven didn’t chase them down. It was possible, even likely that they would have to run and she wasn’t sure if Clay could survive on the run. He was a wolf, a pack animal social by his very nature and dependent to a degree on the relationships within his pack. Now he might be forced to relinquish that and sever ties to his family because of her.
“Hey, where did you go just now?” He tiled her chin upward refusing to let her hide from him so she did the only thing that she could think of to avoid answering.
She kissed him. Surprised when he kept it brief as if afraid to be caught necking on the alpha’s front lawn.
